Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 561
02-24-2013, 10:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicochavez View Post
Thanks for the review evil, always want to hear what you have to say.

For the weather streaks I used a few of them since I didn't think the streaks were pronounced enough. I wonder if that might be part of the issue. As for the interception point, I think it might be easier to place the blink FX in the middle of the move to location trigger like I did with the insertion point next to the Dunkirk and call it a navigation pop up on the players hud.


Bug report is already posted on the forums for the mining map, really recommend no one use it till fixed. I'll add in a respawn further in next time I'm in the foundry.

I really dont know where to put a respawn once the player gets back to New Tampa. Best idea I've got is maybe next to Toro's team?

The idea for Falco on the last map was that she was scanning to get as much intel as she could about the facility and what it might tell her about what Keller was up to. I will probably just change it and move everyone back a step to give the player some more room.

Thanks for the advice!
As always, glad I could help. Great mission and a lot of fun.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 126
# 562
02-25-2013, 05:24 AM
This is a multi-part series. Only two parts so far. I enjoy reading your reviews, so it would be great to get your input on either or both. Thank you!

1st Part:
Mission Name: Dark Alliance Part 1
Author: @Skydawn
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPVNOTTZY
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 min


2nd Part:
Mission Name: Dark Alliance 2: Black Spiral
Author: @Skydawn
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDSFSEJNA
Estimated Mission Length: 45 min to 1hr+

This is my mission thread: Dark Alliance Series


by @Skydawn - member of Starbase UGC
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 563
02-26-2013, 07:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by skydawnknight View Post
This is a multi-part series. Only two parts so far. I enjoy reading your reviews, so it would be great to get your input on either or both. Thank you!

1st Part:
Mission Name: Dark Alliance Part 1
Author: @Skydawn
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HPVNOTTZY
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 min


2nd Part:
Mission Name: Dark Alliance 2: Black Spiral
Author: @Skydawn
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HDSFSEJNA
Estimated Mission Length: 45 min to 1hr+

This is my mission thread: Dark Alliance Series
Hi Skydawn,

Welcome to the queue. Your missions are 4th and 5th in the queue behind sarek93. I hope to get into the queue this weekend, earlier if possible. I will post the results here once they are completed.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by gammadelta2 View Post
I've had this idea for a bit, but was kind of hesitant because of the difficulty in delivery, so I'd appreciate anyone who takes a look at it.

Mission Name: The Engineer's Games
Minimum Level: 46+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HHVMWTJOT
User: gammadelta1
Estimated Mission Length: Your choices play a part but about 30 minutes.

Description:
A trip to a meeting is interrupted with an unexplained emergency in engineering. Your crew requires your attention. But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms?


This mission's combat truly revolves around your choices and ability. It is a ground mission, but I hope you won't hold that against it. And I'm pretty sure ther are no "continue" or "interact" buttons.

Thanks
Federation Mission - The Engineer's Games
Author: gammadelta1
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HHVMWTJOT

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This mission has a lot of potential to be a great story oriented mission with some optional combat thrown in to keep it interesting. Some of the objectives did not make sense or carried on too long. For example; the map "Center of K2015a... JOE" has 8 questions that the player must answer or engage very tough enemy mobs. The problem is the questions did not seem to follow the story. I think the questions would be much more interesting if they related more to the Star Trek Online universe. Then you could make the enemy mobs related to the question and correct answer. At that point the number of questions would be less of a factor. It would also be a fun and interesting theme across all the maps in this mission that could be tailored to each map.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. I have redacted some of the map names in order to preserve the story for players who want to play it. The map titles are still there and can be read by highlighting them. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms" to read "But what could have caused such strange readings that set off the alarm".

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
J - Something... BOB: This is a nice simple map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Q's (Redacted) Risa: This is a simple map design with a lot of running, some action, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Be careful using the beacons as waypoints on the map. They all show up on the map at the same time. Consider using invisible objects as the trigger point. They can be set appear as each waypoint is reached.
-Consider adding a respawn point near the enemy mob, perhaps across the bridge from them.

Center of K2015a... JOE: This is a simple map with some tough battles and well written story dialogue. I do not mind puzzles in missions as long as they add to the mission. I also usually suggest adding a bypass button for the puzzles, although in this case it seems like it is not really needed. However the questions need a little work, which I will cover in depth in my summary above. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Q's (Redacted) version of the Arena: This is a simple map with a simple battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Borg Cube something or other: This is an interesting map design, although I found the obstacles to be annoying rather than challenging. The problem is as you move across the obstacles the away team has a difficult time keeping up with the player. They fall off and cannot help the player engage the enemy mobs. In the end it frustrated me to the point I just ran, jumping as needed, across the map to the end where I triggered the map change. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "empty, just about" to read "Empty, just about".
-Consider changing the obstacles to a more maze like set up that does not require the player to run and jump across platforms. That would be more interesting and require more tactical use of the away team and position in relation to the enemy mobs.

J - Something... FRANK: This is a simple maze map with simple story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing "Wonderful Wonderful" to read "Wonderful wonderful".

Q (Redacted) : This is a simple map but well written story dialogue. It serves well to wrap up the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. The mission has a lot of potential but needs a little work. I hope this review helps you improve the mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.

Last edited by evil70th; 02-26-2013 at 10:20 AM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 87
# 565
02-26-2013, 11:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Federation Mission - The Engineer's Games
Author: gammadelta1
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HHVMWTJOT

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This mission has a lot of potential to be a great story oriented mission with some optional combat thrown in to keep it interesting. Some of the objectives did not make sense or carried on too long. For example; the map "Center of K2015a... JOE" has 8 questions that the player must answer or engage very tough enemy mobs. The problem is the questions did not seem to follow the story. I think the questions would be much more interesting if they related more to the Star Trek Online universe. Then you could make the enemy mobs related to the question and correct answer. At that point the number of questions would be less of a factor. It would also be a fun and interesting theme across all the maps in this mission that could be tailored to each map.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. I have redacted some of the map names in order to preserve the story for players who want to play it. The map titles are still there and can be read by highlighting them. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is an intriguing description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "But what could have caused such a strange readings that set off the alarms" to read "But what could have caused such strange readings that set off the alarm".

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: You should consider adding the start location for the first custom map to the initial task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
J - Something... BOB: This is a nice simple map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Q's (Redacted) Risa: This is a simple map design with a lot of running, some action, and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Be careful using the beacons as waypoints on the map. They all show up on the map at the same time. Consider using invisible objects as the trigger point. They can be set appear as each waypoint is reached.
-Consider adding a respawn point near the enemy mob, perhaps across the bridge from them.

Center of K2015a... JOE: This is a simple map with some tough battles and well written story dialogue. I do not mind puzzles in missions as long as they add to the mission. I also usually suggest adding a bypass button for the puzzles, although in this case it seems like it is not really needed. However the questions need a little work, which I will cover in depth in my summary above. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Q's (Redacted) version of the Arena: This is a simple map with a simple battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Borg Cube something or other: This is an interesting map design, although I found the obstacles to be annoying rather than challenging. The problem is as you move across the obstacles the away team has a difficult time keeping up with the player. They fall off and cannot help the player engage the enemy mobs. In the end it frustrated me to the point I just ran, jumping as needed, across the map to the end where I triggered the map change. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "empty, just about" to read "Empty, just about".
-Consider changing the obstacles to a more maze like set up that does not require the player to run and jump across platforms. That would be more interesting and require more tactical use of the away team and position in relation to the enemy mobs.

J - Something... FRANK: This is a simple maze map with simple story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The map transfer dialogue; consider changing "Wonderful Wonderful" to read "Wonderful wonderful".

Q (Redacted) : This is a simple map but well written story dialogue. It serves well to wrap up the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. The mission has a lot of potential but needs a little work. I hope this review helps you improve the mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

Thank you very much. I knew there were a few issues and details that I'd have to pound out that I couldn't quite get right. Sometimes another set of eyes is all it takes.
Ensign
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 20
This is the first time I found this review section, i wish I found it earlier.


This is a mission I'm trying to get into the Spotlight Featured Episode. Your opinion would be greatly appreciated.


Mission Name: Fluidic Relations
Author: @renegadesteve
Minimum Level: 46+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HH3WUJKJU
Estimated Mission Length: 45-60 min

Last edited by renegadesteve; 02-26-2013 at 06:25 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 567
02-26-2013, 10:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gammadelta2 View Post
Thank you very much. I knew there were a few issues and details that I'd have to pound out that I couldn't quite get right. Sometimes another set of eyes is all it takes.
Glad I could help.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 568
02-26-2013, 11:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by renegadesteve View Post
This is the first time I found this review section, i wish I found it earlier.


This is a mission I'm trying to get into the Spotlight Featured Episode. Your opinion would be greatly appreciated.


Mission Name: Fluidic Relations
Author: @renegadesteve
Minimum Level: 46+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HH3WUJKJU
Estimated Mission Length: 45-60 min
Hi renegadesteve,

Welcome to the queue where you are 5th in line behind skydawnknight. I am currently working some long hours at work, which can vary quite a bit. I hope to be able to get into the queue on the weekend so with luck I will get to yours this weekend.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 248
# 569
02-27-2013, 12:05 AM
Hmmm, since you're backlogged I guess I better get in line now

This is my first Foundry mission, so feel free to pick it apart and show me where I can make improvements!

Mission Name: The Tangled Webs We Weave
Author: ashtaku
Minimum Level: None
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HH4IN2WUC
Estimated Mission Length: 30-40 minutes, a bit longer if you explore all the optional dialogues.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
# 570
02-27-2013, 10:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashtaku View Post
Hmmm, since you're backlogged I guess I better get in line now

This is my first Foundry mission, so feel free to pick it apart and show me where I can make improvements!

Mission Name: The Tangled Webs We Weave
Author: ashtaku
Minimum Level: None
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HH4IN2WUC
Estimated Mission Length: 30-40 minutes, a bit longer if you explore all the optional dialogues.
Hi ashtaku,

Welcome to the queue and to the Foundry. You are 6th in the queue behind renegadesteve. I will get to your review as soon as possible and post the results here when complete.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
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