Ensign
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 26
# 571
02-27-2013, 11:17 AM
Hi. I'd also like you to review my submission to the Foundry Challenge 6:

Mission Name: 404 Error: Admiral Not Found
Author: dougglendower
Minimum Level: None
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAOSHU7Q6
Estimated Mission Length: 40 minutes, a bit longer if you go and find the remote Easter Eggs.
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,202
# 572
02-27-2013, 11:47 AM
Hey. I'm glad to see you're still enjoying reviewing missions. Hope you're doing well. I have a little review request for you.

Mission Name: Demons from the past
Author: @diogene0
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Estimated Mission Length: under 45 minutes, unless you're using a cruiser. In this case you may add 10 minutes.

I hope I missed less typos this time, i've been slaving over my dictionary and grammar book for hours!

Thanks for your review.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 123
# 573
02-27-2013, 04:39 PM
I would love a review of my latest mission!

ID: ST-HQ7JQ5IID
Title: Never Count a Gorn Out
Author: @Maziken
Faction: KDF
Playtime: 40 to 60 minutes
Difficulty: Tough
Description: A secret Federation starbase has been revealed and you are ordered to infiltrate it to gather as much data as you can. Will you sneak your way through the installation, only alerting those Starfleet Officers that you must, or will you eradicate every last one of them from the starbase?

Thanks in advance!
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
# 574
02-28-2013, 08:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dougglendower View Post
Hi. I'd also like you to review my submission to the Foundry Challenge 6:

Mission Name: 404 Error: Admiral Not Found
Author: dougglendower
Minimum Level: None
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HAOSHU7Q6
Estimated Mission Length: 40 minutes, a bit longer if you go and find the remote Easter Eggs.
Hi dougglendower,

Welcome to the queue. You are 7th in the queue behind ashtaku. I am working a lot right now so I will get into the queue as I can, and will post the review here when it is completed.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
# 575
02-28-2013, 09:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by diogene0 View Post
Hey. I'm glad to see you're still enjoying reviewing missions. Hope you're doing well. I have a little review request for you.

Mission Name: Demons from the past
Author: @diogene0
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Estimated Mission Length: under 45 minutes, unless you're using a cruiser. In this case you may add 10 minutes.

I hope I missed less typos this time, i've been slaving over my dictionary and grammar book for hours!

Thanks for your review.
Hey diogene0,

Welcome back to the queue. Yes, I do still enjoy reviewing missions. Authors of these missions make the STO experience a richer one for us all. If my reviews can help them improve their work, so much the better. Speaking of authoring, you are currently 8th in the queue behind dougglendower. I will get to the queue as I can. When I am don I will post the review here.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
# 576
02-28-2013, 09:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by maziken View Post
I would love a review of my latest mission!

ID: ST-HQ7JQ5IID
Title: Never Count a Gorn Out
Author: @Maziken
Faction: KDF
Playtime: 40 to 60 minutes
Difficulty: Tough
Description: A secret Federation starbase has been revealed and you are ordered to infiltrate it to gather as much data as you can. Will you sneak your way through the installation, only alerting those Starfleet Officers that you must, or will you eradicate every last one of them from the starbase?

Thanks in advance!
Hi Maziken,

Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is currently 9th in the queue behind diogene0. I will get to it as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 782
# 577
02-28-2013, 09:14 PM
At long last, the Ghosts of War saga is now complete!

Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part VI (aka "Time's Hammer")
Author: NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Federation
ID: ST-HB3UDU2GK
Playtime: 30-45 min

Method of Report Delivery: This thread and/or the Ghosts of War thread

I expect to be tweaking this mission a lot based on feedback, especially Map 7, which is probably the most complex and SFX-laden map I've ever done. (Hint: It features a huge ground battle that doesn't involve you, and that you must sidestep as you carry out your objectives; defend yourself if you have to but don't go wading into the fray unless absolutely necessary.)
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
# 578
03-01-2013, 07:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paxfederatica View Post
At long last, the Ghosts of War saga is now complete!

Mission Name: Ghosts of War, Part VI (aka "Time's Hammer")
Author: NCC-89471
Minimum Level: 35+
Allegiance: Federation
ID: ST-HB3UDU2GK
Playtime: 30-45 min

Method of Report Delivery: This thread and/or the Ghosts of War thread

I expect to be tweaking this mission a lot based on feedback, especially Map 7, which is probably the most complex and SFX-laden map I've ever done. (Hint: It features a huge ground battle that doesn't involve you, and that you must sidestep as you carry out your objectives; defend yourself if you have to but don't go wading into the fray unless absolutely necessary.)
Hi NCC-89471,

Welcome back to the queue with the 6th mission in your series. You are currently 10th in the queue behind maziken. Looks like I do not have to work this weekend so I will be able to work on the queue this weekend. I cannot guarantee that I will get this far in the queue, but I will do my best. I will file the report here and in your posting when completed.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
Quote:
Originally Posted by syberghost View Post
Mission Name: Franklin Drake Must Die
Author: @syberghost

Federation, any level.

Estimated length: 20-45 minutes, depending on your choices.

Most of the combat is completely optional; the non-optional combat is brief, the optional combat will greatly extend the length.

Note: there is currently an issue with finding the mission door, thanks to a Cryptic issue on Earth Spacedock. I will refactor to improve this entrance at some point, but for now, take any turbolift to the lower level and the door will appear. Feel free to savage me for that issue, but know that I'm already aware of it.
Federation Mission - Franklin Drake Must Die
Author: syberghost
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HJPILABJJ

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with well designed maps and tough but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written and I noted no spelling or grammatical errors. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: These are good grant and follow on dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Consider putting the start location for the first custom map in the initial mission task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Admiral Johnson's Office: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. My ship is named "Essex" but based on your usage of the "Kearsarge" later in the mission I will assume you did not use [ShipName] in the dialogue. If you did you might want to change it. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Korvat 2409: This is a nice map design with some fun optional and required combat. The story dialogue is short but well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding initial dialogue that explains the arrival in the system and alerts the player to the presence of enemy mobs.

Korvat 2266: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Korvat Ground: This is a good map design with several optional battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the backdoor transporter to an actual backdoor. Place a hatch that we have to break the entry code. A transporter seems like something that could be tracked. Then on the next map you can place another hatch behind where the player spawns.

Korvat Caves: This is a good map design with several tough, but fun battles. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The console to deactivate the force field is not "back the way we came". It is east of the force field.
- If "Captain Johnson" is supposed to be in the cell he is not.

Korvat 2266#2: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-If the communication is "audio only" consider replacing Commander Corspa with the Kearsarge.

Korvat 2409#2: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 03/02/2013 on forum posting for: Franklin Drake Must Die.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarek93 View Post
Hi, I'm a newcomer to the foundry and I was wondering if you could take a look at my first mission (just finished it yesterday). You'll have to use the project ID because it is still in the "probationary" period (doesn't have 5 reviews yet). Details as follows:

Mission Name: Yet There Be Method In It
Author: pbau3993
Minimum level (this may need to be tweaked): 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRKD9HYJ6
Estimated Mission Length: 30-45 minutes

Notes:
I couldn't find anything TOS-style to block off corridors in a TOS map so it looks a little weird. Any ideas on that front would be appreciated.

Since this is my first foundry mission, I didn't have a good idea of how to set/pick minimum levels, so that may need to be tweaked as well.

This is a mission that will take you to 2271, right after the end of the Enterprise's historic five year mission.
Federation Mission - Yet There Be Method In It
Author: pbau3993
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRKD9HYJ6

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission with nice map designs, many very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I enjoyed playing your mission and I would recommend this mission to all players, although not on Elite level. For a newcomer to the Foundry I would say you have a great start in mission development. There are several great tutorials regarding this and many other Foundry tutorials on Starbase UGC.

On several of your maps I mention the enemy battles need to be better balanced. What this means is while battling your way through a map can be fun it needs to have some balance to give the player a chance. The placement of all high level group's right on top of each other is way too much. Both space and interior battles where similarly out of balance with high level mobs that were also grouped together so the player is engaging several high level mobs all at once. As I mention in the map section below, it is hard enough on "Normal" and would most likely be impossible on "Elite" level.

This brings me to my next point regarding respawn points on the maps. On both space and interior maps I noted that there are no respawn points deeper into the map. If you are going to have such high level mobs, and even if they are balanced mobs, you need to add respawn points deeper into the maps. If you manage to fight all the way across a map and engage a high level mob, as you wear them down you get killed, respawn and have to move all the way across the map to find them back at full strength it can get tedious. This is what I mean by balancing battles and having respawn points deeper in the map.

One more thing to consider, I mention adding initial dialogue to a map from a BOFF. This means you should add initial dialogue that displays when the player enters a map. This is usually a report from your Science, Tactical, or Engineering BOFF detailing a scan of the system or map, or threat, or engineering difficulties, and so on. It can help set the mood for the map and the mission. It gives you the chance to expand on the story and give the player something more than switching from map to map without any clear story except from dialogue. Basically it is your chance to tell the story for that map and maybe set up additional points to be used in later maps.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.
-Consider adding the Starfleet Liaison dialogue to the end of the grant dialogue. Meeting with the Liaison to be told to go to the entrance of Agent Marion's office seems unnecessary.
-The start location for the first custom map, Agent Marion's office, would be best described as the corridor across from the transporter room, right side door, or something along those lines.

Mission Task: Based on the above recommendation, consider changing the initial mission task to indicate the start location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this initial task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Marion's Office: This is a nice map design with well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The initial spawn point is too close to the entry door. Consider moving it out away from the wall.
-Consider changing "Good afternoon, [Rank] [NickName]" to read "Good afternoon, [Rank] [LastName]".
-Consider changing "I appreciate your concern, [NickName], but it is unneccessary" to read "I appreciate your concern, [Rank], but it is unnecessary".
-The closed door is not lined up with the regular map door. Most likely this is caused by the Snap to Grid feature on the map editor. It is located in the upper right hand corner of the map editor.

Bepii 113: This is a good map design with 4 very tough battles right on top of each other. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding some initial dialogue from at least one of the BOFFs to indicate the course of action or if they detect enemy units inbound. I will discuss this in the summary.
-On the previous map the dialogue referred to the system as "Bepi 113", but here is is "Bepii 113". Consider making them match.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map. I will cover this in my summary.
-The enemy battles needs to be better balanced. It is difficult enough on "Normal" it would probably be impossible on "Elite". Having all high level enemy mobs right on top of each other makes it even worse. I will cover this in my summary.

Beta Triangulis 3: This is a good map design with 2 very tough battles right on top of each other. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding some initial dialogue.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The enemy battles needs to be better balanced.

Alpha Ursae 2: This is a good map design with 2 very tough battles right on top of each other. The story dialogue is well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding some initial dialogue.
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The enemy battles needs to be better balanced.
-The post "Continue Searching" dialogue; consider changing "You're to late, Commander" to read "You're too late, Commander".

Klingon Intelligence Facility: This is a good map design with 4 very tough battles right on top of each other, followed by 2 very tough battles right on top of each other and one additional very tough group at the end. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider placing respawn points deeper into the map.
-The enemy battles needs to be better balanced.
-Consider adding debris that appears as the cell is destroyed.

Alpha Ursae 2: This is a good map design with tough but fun battle. The story dialogue is well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding some initial dialogue.

Altec Prime: This is a short and simple map design. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding some initial dialogue.

Altecan High Court Building: This is a short and simple map design. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. To block the other areas that you want to hide from the player consider using something like a plain wall segment or a "Building block" with a plain gray feature. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider centering the spawn point on the transporter pad. The BOFFS and my character are clustered against one wall. . Most likely this is caused by the Snap to Grid feature on the map editor. It is located in the upper right hand corner of the map editor.

Altecan High Court Building#2: This is a short and simple map design. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. To block the other areas that you want to hide from the player consider using something like a plain wall segment or a "Building block" with a plain gray feature. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing "Hi, [NickName]" to read "Hi, Commander".
-Sending the person who just rescued her to get her Earl Grey tea seems a bit demeaning for her to do. Consider coming up with another reason for the player to go to the room and speak with the other NPCs.

Bepii 113: This is a nice map design and a good wrap up to the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 03/03/2013 on forum posting for: Yet There Be Method In It - First Foundry Mission
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
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