Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 200
# 821
11-09-2013, 09:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Hey donperk,

Oops. That was a cut and paste error on my part. I have corrected the report in both postings. Thanks for catching that and letting me know. The mission is a good mission and I enjoyed playing/reviewing it. Good work.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
See? We really do read your reports that you do for other people! It's not just narcissism.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 882
# 822
11-09-2013, 10:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by donperk View Post
See? We really do read your reports that you do for other people! It's not just narcissism.
Well I am glad we cleared up whether or not it was narcissism. I was getting a little worried.

Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Lieutenant
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 90
# 823
11-09-2013, 12:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aleniskendra View Post
Could you please review my mission? It's my first attempt as a Foundry author. You can also find a trailer in my signature. Thanks!

Mission Name: Healing Old Wounds (Of Bajor and Cardassia: Ep. I)
Author: aleniskendra
Minimum Level: Any
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: Not sure?
Estimated Mission Length: 30-60 min (depending on choices made and weapon strength)
I just released Version 1.1... hopefully, I have all of the typos and inconsistencies cleared up now...
My very first Foundry Mission, Healing Old Wounds, has been completely reworked and rereleased!
(Also, a quick shout-out, please visit Starbase UGC for all your Foundry needs!)
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 882
# 824
11-10-2013, 03:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aleniskendra View Post
I just released Version 1.1... hopefully, I have all of the typos and inconsistencies cleared up now...
Thanks for the update. Your mission has just moved up to the 9th position in the queue. I hope to get to it as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 882
Quote:
Originally Posted by starswordc View Post
My first Foundry mission, which I originally meant as a standalone. It came out longer than I expected so I've made it a two-parter.

Mission Name: "Bait and Switch"
Author: StarSwordC
Minimum Level: none
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HMVK8ZDAT
Estimated Mission Length: Measured it at 1.5 hours when beta-testing.
Federation Mission - Bait and Switch
Author: StarSwordC
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HMVK8ZDAT

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This would be considered a great mission for an experienced author but for your first mission it is outstanding. The map designs are good and the battles are tough in some spots but they are fun and pretty well balanced. As for the story dialogue, while unconventionally written, is excellent. There are elements that are similar to a standard Cryptic patrol mission combined with exploration missions but I thoroughly enjoyed the mission. I would highly recommend this mission to all players who enjoy a good story combined with exploration and combat.

As I have mentioned several times before in other reviews, the use of NPC optional dialogue vice triggered dialogue should be consider for changing. The use of the triggered optional dialogue vice NPC optional dialogue allows you to create side story dialogue that adds to the story but is not required. I typically use the 10FT invisible object for triggered dialogue and tasks. Some of dialogue, objects and tasks need a little adjustment in when they become visible or disappear. For optional dialogue a good rule of thumb is it should only remain visible if the player may need to refer back to it. This is where the visibility triggers come in handy. Once a player has passed where the optional dialogue would help it should be removed. That is one of the reasons I push the triggered optional dialogue and discourage the NPC optional dialogue.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good and detailed description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a very good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear location for the NPC contact where the mission is to begin. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Deep Space Nine (Cryptic Map): This is a good use of a Cryptic map in the mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or your use of the map.

Malon IV: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Use of NPC triggered dialogue vice Optional triggered dialogue. You used the standard NPC triggered dialogue for side story dialogue that does not affect the main plot of the mission. I am referring to the variety of Asteroid Miner NPC dialogue you used on this map. Consider using Optional triggered dialogue that can be set up to become available when the player approaches. From this point forward I will note the maps where you use this discuss it in the summary.

Malon II: This is a great map design with good battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Dreon VII - High Orbit: This is a good map design with fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Dreon VII - Village: This is a great map design with tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Outside the Rolor Nebula: The map design is okay and the story dialogue is well written. In general I am not found of maps that only serve the purpose of one or two lines of dialogue for a set up to change maps again. If there is no other reason for this map you could eliminate it and write dialogue at the beginning of the map similar to the USS. Marduk - CIC map initial dialogue.

USS. Marduk - Deck 6: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The optional console access across from the transporter has a button labeled "Interact" which is the default setting when the interactive button is left blank by the author. Consider changing it "Access Console" or something along those lines.
-Use of NPC triggered dialogue vice Optional triggered dialogue.

Ultima Thule Oort Cloud: This is a great map design with good battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of STO history, math or other types of puzzles as a means of covering "Security questions" is mildly annoying. If there the questions add nothing to the story then consider removing them from the mission or give the player the options to bypass the puzzle

The Badlands: This is a good map design with great battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Use of NPC triggered dialogue vice Optional triggered dialogue.

Asteroid Base: This is a great map design with tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Use of NPC triggered dialogue vice Optional triggered dialogue.

USS. Marduk - CIC: This is a great map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job for your first mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future. Keep up the great work.
Brian

This critique report also filed 11/10/2013 on forum posting for: "Bait and Switch" mission series
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Captain
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 5,415
# 826
11-10-2013, 08:02 PM
Thank you for the review, and thank you even more for the incredibly favorable review!

Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Outside the Rolor Nebula: The map design is okay and the story dialogue is well written. In general I am not found of maps that only serve the purpose of one or two lines of dialogue for a set up to change maps again. If there is no other reason for this map you could eliminate it and write dialogue at the beginning of the map similar to the USS. Marduk - CIC map initial dialogue.
Yeah, I've been debating pulling that map (especially after dinging aleniskendra yesterday for doing this). About the only reason it's there is to show off the customized MVAE model for the USS Marduk, which, who really cares about that?

Quote:
USS. Marduk - Deck 6: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The optional console access across from the transporter has a button labeled "Interact" which is the default setting when the interactive button is left blank by the author. Consider changing it "Access Console" or something along those lines.
I wanted to change that but I can't find the setting for it (I'm using the default prompt, not a popup).

What did you think of my use of a Defiant-class interior here? One of the things that worried me was that it's pretty cramped and the Prometheus-class is much bigger than the Defiant. But on the other hand it's a dedicated warship (sorry, escort), not a warp-capable hotel with guns like the GCS.

Quote:
Asteroid Base: This is a great map design with tough but fun battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Use of NPC triggered dialogue vice Optional triggered dialogue.
This map in particular I've been considering changing the NPC default prompts I'm using right now to popups triggered by Component Complete on the corresponding hostage cage. I'm going to go ahead and do that.
Capt. Kanril Eleya, U.S.S. Andraste, Strike Team Alpha

Useful Links for Foundry Writers | "Bait and Switch" -- Fed Foundry project, Part 1 rewards-qualified!
Say no to Arc! STO standalone installer
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 882
# 827
11-10-2013, 10:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by starswordc View Post
Thank you for the review, and thank you even more for the incredibly favorable review!
You are welcome and the mission deserved the review. It was a thoroughly enjoyable mission. As always I am happy to help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by starswordc View Post
Yeah, I've been debating pulling that map (especially after dinging aleniskendra yesterday for doing this). About the only reason it's there is to show off the customized MVAE model for the USS Marduk, which, who really cares about that?
The model is okay and the grandeur of the scene but if that is all it is serving to do then you should probably remove it. Of course as with all my reviews I merely make suggestions. It is up to the author if they want to accept them or not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by starswordc View Post
I wanted to change that but I can't find the setting for it (I'm using the default prompt, not a popup).
Check the object. I believe the button label is available on the object within the map itself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by starswordc View Post
What did you think of my use of a Defiant-class interior here? One of the things that worried me was that it's pretty cramped and the Prometheus-class is much bigger than the Defiant. But on the other hand it's a dedicated warship (sorry, escort), not a warp-capable hotel with guns like the GCS.
It is a good use of the existing map. I think your setup and execution of the map was very well done.

Quote:
Originally Posted by starswordc View Post
This map in particular I've been considering changing the NPC default prompts I'm using right now to popups triggered by Component Complete on the corresponding hostage cage. I'm going to go ahead and do that.
That would work. My specific suggestion regarding this is intended to have the dialogue as an option go away after the player interacts with it. As indicated this can be done easily and I think it helps the story flow. It gives the author the capability to add more elements of a back story to the mission. The information is not required to complete the mission but it adds more depth to the story you create. It is an excellent tool that allows for branching dialogue and sub tasks that are also not required to complete the map or the missions.

Thanks for authoring. As I have said many times before this is a great mission for an experienced author but as a first timer it is simply outstanding.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Captain
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 5,415
# 828
11-11-2013, 05:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by evil70th View Post
Check the object. I believe the button label is available on the object within the map itself.
I looked. On the General tab I've got options for position and facing, name, object type, sound, turning the default prompt on and off, and the click-through to the advanced dialog editor. The States tab is a States tab, and there's no Triggers tab.

I want to change that but the option seems to have vanished in a patch or something.
Capt. Kanril Eleya, U.S.S. Andraste, Strike Team Alpha

Useful Links for Foundry Writers | "Bait and Switch" -- Fed Foundry project, Part 1 rewards-qualified!
Say no to Arc! STO standalone installer
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 200
# 829
11-11-2013, 11:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by starswordc View Post
I looked. On the General tab I've got options for position and facing, name, object type, sound, turning the default prompt on and off, and the click-through to the advanced dialog editor. The States tab is a States tab, and there's no Triggers tab.

I want to change that but the option seems to have vanished in a patch or something.
The interact text is set from the story line view as part of the interaction task, not on the object itself in the map view. Look for your "Task - Interact with Object" card in the story line and set the "Interact Text".
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 200
# 830
11-12-2013, 05:15 PM
In the "Better Late Than Never" department:

I stand embarrassed and corrected. The correct tlhIngan Hol for "Success!" is "Qapla'!" and not "qapla'!"

Sadly I discovered this by reading over one of my own reviews of someone else's mission.
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