Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 767
# 921
02-21-2014, 03:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zorbane View Post
If using the Default Text checkbox on an object you can't set what the "Interact" button says. TBH because of this I've stopped using this and just have a dialogue pop up associated with it. Yes it works only once but usually that's enough
If you drop an object into the Story line the Interact Text field is available by default. I was referring a storyline object being assigned to a console as part of the story.

For popup text that appears if a player accesses an optional console the author would select the State tab and then under When select "Component Complete". This will reveal a new tab on the object called triggers. In that tab is where Interact Text field becomes available, which is where the button is defined. By default it is "Interact". The dialogue will appear once the player selects the available button. If you use the "Component Reached" is used when a Place Marker is used. The dialogue pops up automatically when this is set. The other two options on popup text are "Immediately" or "Never".

Hope that clarifies what I was referring to.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 767
Quote:
Originally Posted by voporak View Post
Mission: Time's Eye
Faction: Fed
Author: voporak
ID: ST-HN4LHQZHT

Sequal to Of Terror and Darkness. It's currently still in production, but by the time it gets its turn to be reviewed it'll be done, with bugs hammered out.
Federation Mission - Time's Eye
Author: voporak
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HN4LHQZHT

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great combat and story oriented mission with good map designs and extremely tough battles. The story dialogue served to draw me in and keep me interested throughout. You did a great job and I would definitely recommend this mission to other players, although not on Elite as it was tough enough on Normal.

In some of the dialogue I mention the use of [NickName] vice [Rank] and/or [LastName]. I mention it because it feels odd to me as the player does not necessarily know the person using it. This becomes more of an issue since you had those same NPCs referring to the player by [Rank] in later maps. Using [Rank] and/or [LastName] is pretty straight forward and the [NickName] is most likely the first name of the player. This is not always the case but in most circumstances it most likely is that way.

Since your mission contains heavy combat on a couple of the maps along with the story dialogue it may be useful to add a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button. This could be used on the heavier dialogue portions, which helps a player move more quickly through your story and on to the battles. You would provide the summary to give the player what they need to known in order to carry on the mission.

Along the same lines I would recommend adding a "Solve the puzzle" button. Some players enjoy puzzles and that is okay. Something to consider is why include the puzzle? More specifically what is the purpose of including a puzzle? Does it add anything to the story? If does add to the story I would still recommend including a button. This allows the player to skip past the puzzle. You can make it part of the story, for example; "Engineer, I need you to fix this" or something along those lines.

On two of the maps I found the battles to be overpowering and time consuming. Battle balancing is an important element even in a combat oriented mission. I recommend spreading out the enemy mobs to give the player a chance to employ tactics to defeat them. They can overlap so if the player strays to close while engaging one he ends up engaging both. This does not mean you cannot have high level enemy mobs all across a map but not right on top of each other. Some players may like this type of grinder but I do not find that to be a challenge, I find it annoying.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: The description is good but could use a little more story to draw the player in and make them want to click 'Hail'. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The initial grant dialogue is good but it needs a little more story to draw the player in and make them want to click 'Accept'.
-The use of [NickName] in the dialogue. Consider changing it to [Rank] or a combination of [Rank] and [LastName].
-Consider adding dialogue that asks the player to meet with the Admiral.

Mission Task: The initial task needs to have the start location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Admiral Kormek’s Office on ESD: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of [NickName] in the dialogue. Consider changing it to [Rank] or a combination of [Rank] and [LastName]. From this point forward I will indicate the maps where the dialogue contains this and cover it in my summary.
-Consider adding a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button to the lengthy portions of the dialogue. From this point forward I will indicate maps where I think this would be appropriate and cover it in my summary.

Empok Nor: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of [NickName] in the dialogue.
-The extra consoles have funny dialogue but serve no purpose to the story. Consider removing them. If you are going to keep them then consider changing the default "Interact" for the button to read "Access Console".
-Consider changing the response button "and shields is up here" to read "and shields are up here".
-Consider adding a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button to the lengthy portions of the dialogue.

Trivas System: This is a good map design with extremely tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The second enemy engagement is ridiculously over powered. All 7 groups are right on top of each other. Consider spreading them out more to give the player the ability to utilize tactics to engage them one or two at a time.

Sublevel H: This is a good map design with extremely tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-All the enemy mobs are way too powerful for the player to engage them and make it to the power core room. The only current solution is to run to the power core room and even there both mobs are too powerful. I respawned at least 5 times in the power core room before I wore them down. It is not a challenge, it is annoying. Consider spreading the enemy mobs out so the player can engage using tactics.

Sublevel D: This is a good map design with a easy battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The console near the spare parts; consider changing the default "Interact" button to read "Access Console".

Trivas System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button to the lengthy portions of the dialogue.

Voporak's Ready Room: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button to the lengthy portions of the dialogue.
-The use of [NickName] in the dialogue.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 02/21/2014 on forum posting for: Time's Eye.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Ensign
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3
# 923 Tempest: On the edge
02-23-2014, 01:58 PM
Mission: Tempest: On the edge
Faction: Fed
Author: Lawrencium
ID: ST-HJPNOG5BZ

My first serious foundry mission.I focused more on the combat. When reviewing the maps, treat Tempest and Tempestt as the same please. Had to duplicate the map.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 767
# 924
02-23-2014, 04:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by radiouron View Post
Mission: Tempest: On the edge
Faction: Fed
Author: Lawrencium
ID: ST-HJPNOG5BZ

My first serious foundry mission.I focused more on the combat. When reviewing the maps, treat Tempest and Tempestt as the same please. Had to duplicate the map.
Hi radiouron,

Welcome to the queue and the Foundry. Your mission is currently 10th in the queue behind confedinblue. I appreciate the heads up on the maps. I will review your mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 111
# 925
02-24-2014, 05:28 AM
I would like to see a detailed report on this mission:


Mission: “A Routine Mission”

Author: starfarertheta

Minimum Level: No restrictions

Faction: Federation

Project ID: ST-HA6JIBXJD

Estimated Length: 20-35 minutes.
Lieutenant
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 94
# 926 Part 3 of Logitech007 series
02-28-2014, 12:19 AM
Hey Evil70th, I am back with part 3 of my series, I am looking for your review on this part. I am not sure if I posted this part 3 yet or not.


Name: The Unexpected Return Part Three
Author: Logitech007
Allegiance: Starfleet
ID:ST-HULT4LRKX
level: 16+
Time: 45-1 hour
Story: After the loss of Starbase 375 to the Tzenkethi forces, Starfleet and the Klingon Empire forces are on the run. Both Starfleet and the Klingon Empire are hard pressed to get Starbase 375 back and to take care of this new threat. How did the Tzenkethi forces manage to gain all of these vessels and facilities under the Federation and the Klingon Empire’s Knowledge? Do the Tzenkethi forces have support or are they alone? Will this be another Dominion war or will it not get that far? What will happen to the Tzenkethi? What will happen to the Klingon Empire? What will happen to the Federation?
Starting Location: Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.

Thank you for taking your time to play my part 3.
Logitech007
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 767
# 927
03-01-2014, 02:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by starfarertheta View Post
I would like to see a detailed report on this mission:


Mission: “A Routine Mission”

Author: starfarertheta

Minimum Level: No restrictions

Faction: Federation

Project ID: ST-HA6JIBXJD

Estimated Length: 20-35 minutes.
Hi starfarertheta,

Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 11th in the queue behind radiouron. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 767
# 928
03-01-2014, 02:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by logitech007 View Post
Hey Evil70th, I am back with part 3 of my series, I am looking for your review on this part. I am not sure if I posted this part 3 yet or not.


Name: The Unexpected Return Part Three
Author: Logitech007
Allegiance: Starfleet
ID:ST-HULT4LRKX
level: 16+
Time: 45-1 hour
Story: After the loss of Starbase 375 to the Tzenkethi forces, Starfleet and the Klingon Empire forces are on the run. Both Starfleet and the Klingon Empire are hard pressed to get Starbase 375 back and to take care of this new threat. How did the Tzenkethi forces manage to gain all of these vessels and facilities under the Federation and the Klingon Empire’s Knowledge? Do the Tzenkethi forces have support or are they alone? Will this be another Dominion war or will it not get that far? What will happen to the Tzenkethi? What will happen to the Klingon Empire? What will happen to the Federation?
Starting Location: Wall console just outside of the Transporter room on Earth space dock.

Thank you for taking your time to play my part 3.
Logitech007
Hi Logitech007,

Welcome back to the queue. Your mission is currently 12th in the queue behind starfarertheta. Work just picked up and I am taking some college math courses so it may take a while to get to your mission but I will as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 767
Quote:
Originally Posted by nakedsnake001 View Post
Mission: Extraction
Faction: Fed
Author: nak3dsnake
ID: ST-HRJS4PZ5N

This is my "first" official Foundry mission. I have made 3, one that's WIP, and one I deleted entirely because of quality. This mission is a testbed for techniques in use for my second foundry mission, The Gauntlet Awaits. This was my first attempt at writing dialogue for characters and the warp sequence, and I thought it was good overall. It has combat, mild combat however until the finale. It's not too tough, I mostly focused on the mechanics of the mission more than story or combat, but later on revised the story and dialogs to make it flow nicely.
Federation Mission - Extraction
Author: nak3dsnake
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HRJS4PZ5N

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission, especially for a first official Foundry mission. The map designs are well done, the battles fairly well balanced and the story dialogue is well written. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players who like the combination of balanced combat and well written story dialogue.

Below I mention a possible plot inconsistency in the story between the dialogue on the U.S.S. Byzantine Deck 16 and Byzantine Bridge maps. The dialogue on the Bridge map regarding the disabling of the device follows the revelation that Jarpek was actually a hologram. This makes it seem as if the device the player disabled on the previous map somehow allowed Jarpek to fight using a hologram. That implication is the problem with the dialogue. If the device was linked to the holographic image of Jarpek, which is implied by the dialogue, then how would he still be able to fight as a hologram if the device was disabled? If the holographic Jarpek was not linked to the device then you should consider moving the dialogue that discusses the purpose of the device from the Byzantine Bridge map to the U.S.S. Byzantine Deck 16 map following the player disabling the device.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a nice description but you may want to add more of the story and less about the version updates. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-It is okay to have version updates but consider summarizing them as in the example;
2.3.1 - Dialog updates
2.3 - Addressed plot issue and story development
2.2 - Dialog fixes and character updates
2.1 - Fixed NPC placement

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing the "after a long mission [MissionInfo](See: The Doomsday Device)[/MissionInfo]" to read "after dealing with the doomsday device".

Mission Task: This is a good use of the task. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Deep Space: This is a good map with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-If you are going to use the warp streaks then consider changing your map orientation to a westerly orientation and using "Weather Starstreaks West East 01" effect. It looks more like warp space then the "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" regardless of the players speed. The other issue is if the player is not lined up at precisely the right angle and altitude when the warp starts it looks odd. Perhaps remove the warp streaks altogether and have the player warp directly to the system when they engage the warp.
-The post Disable Communications Array dialogue; consider changing the response button "They won't know what hit him before it's too late" to read "They won't know what hit them".
-The map transfer text; consider changing "We're walking into an ambush" to read "We're walking into a trap".

U.S.S. Byzantine Deck 16: This is a good map with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-You have to cargo lifts in the first room where we engage the first enemy mob. They appear to be buried in the deck. If the intention is to make them seem unpowered and on the deck then raise them up a little more. Experiment with the Y axis settings and remember to disable the snap to grid function on the map when editing.
-The Energy Dampener Device seems quite large and looks odd. Consider selecting a smaller object to be the dampener, perhaps half the current size.
-The Lt. Cmdr Roberts dialogue; consider changing "Someone, anyone on this deck, please help us" to read "Someone please help us".
-Consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Let's go", or words to that effect.
-I realize the door selection in the Foundry is limited but consider changing the door to something other than a Klingon door.
-Having the player run all the way back across the map to access the turbo lift does not feel quite right. Consider removing the turbo lift located at the initial spawn point and change the wall door just outside of engineering to be the exit point for this map. If you did this you could add another raiding party to the room and hallway currently being covered by the turbolift.

Byzantine Bridge: This is a good map with a fun battle and well written story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider changing the Science BOFF dialogue "I don’t want to know what would have happened if we didn’t disable it in time" to read "I shudder to think of what might have happened had we not disable that device".
-The Captain Dravan dialogue; consider changing "but we were too outnumbered" to read "but we were outnumbered".
-Based on the dialogue regarding the dampener device on the previous map and this map there is a bit of a plot inconsistency. I will cover it in more detail in my summary.

Klingon Installation: This is a good map with challenging but fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 02/02/2014 on forum posting for: Extraction.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 753
# 930
03-02-2014, 04:04 PM
Thanks for the review and I have noted all your points. Expect to see a huge update fixing most, if not all of these points.
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