Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 981
05-19-2014, 06:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkojt View Post
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it.

On the subject of optional dialogue - I did initially use reach markers and popups, but during testing I noted some issues where the popup could be suppressed by combat, and thereby hidden away in the bottom right where a player might not notice it. I preferred to give people the choice of going and investigating at their leisure.

As for NPCs with dialogue moving...I don't recall that being supposed to happen. I'll look into it.

Oh, and while I'm here, before the queue gets another three miles longer
I published the conclusion to this arc just before S9, and I'd like to request a review for it now you've played Lonesome Heart.

Sunset Blues
Federation, ST-HD5OM2ZDI, level 31+

Thanks again!
Hi nikkojt,

As always I am glad I could help. It really is a great mission.

The optional dialogue is just something I bring up as a reminder of the other means of triggering it. All dialogue being read, both optional and mission, is minimized to the lower right hand side of the screen until the combat condition has gone away. Most players are aware of that and will review the dialogue once combat is complete. It would be great and I have added it to the Foundry wish list to be able create NPC optional dialogue that disappears after it has been interacted with. Until then the option I mentioned is one of the methods to achieve that goal. As with all my recommendation, they are yours to use or not, it is up to you as the author of the mission.

Thanks for the request. The queue is only 2.23 miles long. Your mission submission is 24th in the queue behind theatrrap2. I will get to your new mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 9,374
# 982
05-21-2014, 07:22 PM
Hey Evil, just wanted to let you know in one of your reviews there were suggestions at fixes that were done long ago. We noticed in another reviewer's thread that sometimes reviewers keep missions in their journal for a long time. Of course that means authors apply fixes to bugs which may no longer be relevant. Just a recommendation to not pick up a mission until you actually get ready to play it. Should save you a lot of time and less typing hehe.
King of Lions rawr! Protect the wildlife of the world. Check out my foundry series Perfection and Scars of the Pride.
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...1#post13990891
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 983
05-23-2014, 05:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashkrik23 View Post
Hey Evil, just wanted to let you know in one of your reviews there were suggestions at fixes that were done long ago. We noticed in another reviewer's thread that sometimes reviewers keep missions in their journal for a long time. Of course that means authors apply fixes to bugs which may no longer be relevant. Just a recommendation to not pick up a mission until you actually get ready to play it. Should save you a lot of time and less typing hehe.
Hi ashkrik23,

I appreciate the recommendation; however, just to clarify, I do not pick up a mission until I am ready to play it. I always complete the mission the day I pick it up to review.

The queue I refer to in my posts is the folder labeled "Mission Critique Queue" on my computer for the Microsoft Word docs used in my reports. The folder currently contains 23 missions for review, which I will get to as soon as I can. If there are issues noted in my review then it was present in the mission the day I picked up the mission to review. I have never picked up a mission in advance of the day I planned to review it. Now if the author is editing the mission the day I pick it up and play it while they repost it then I can do nothing about that. On a rare occasion I have posted a report a few days after my review but the issues existed in the mission at the time I picked it up to review it. If the author has detected or becomes aware of the issues and fixes them in between that time I cannot control that.

Thanks again for the recommendation.
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
Quote:
Originally Posted by zorbane View Post
Hiya! Long-time-no-beg-for-feedback

Got a "new" mission for you (it's been in the pipeline for far too long)

Fed
The Improbable Bulk
ST-HKFZXUY5N
Federation Mission - The Improbable Bulk
Author: Zorbane
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HKFZXUY5N

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with some challenging but fun battles and good story dialogue. It is an interesting take on the story you obviously drew from. There were no spelling or grammatical errors in any of the dialogue that I could find. I would recommend this mission to other players and would have given it 5 stars if the rating system was active.

As I said the dialogue was good, however the player response button usage needs some work. It was not just the use of the response button "Continue" it was also the use of phases for the response. For example "Ask why you are here" or "Ask how that could have happened". From my perspective it made it seem more like I was reading a story rather than participating in a mission. Indicating an action can work and I understand that is what you are trying to do with the response buttons but it just did not feel right to me. This is not a show stopper for this mission but rather something to consider changing.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow-on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial mission task with a clear entry point for the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Research Lab 47: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" and other phrases in lieu of actual responses from the player. From this point forward I will note it on each map and cover it in my summary above.
-Some of the doors appeared to have issues with the away team passing through them. It may be a problem with pathing on this particular map. I suggest reporting the potential issue to the developers for them to look into.
-I recommend the use of triggered optional dialogue in conjunction with story dialogue. This way it goes away after the player interacts with it. As of yet the Foundry does not offer that as an option when using optional dialogue triggered by an NPC.

Space: This is a good map with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" and other phrases in lieu of actual responses from the player.
-The use of "Weather Starstreaks North South 01" and orientation of the map. Consider changing the orientation of the map to run from east to west and use "Weather Starstreaks West East 01".
-I liked the use of the warp multiple times on a single map as part of the story, however you used the "Warp In" effect when the player was going to warp. In addition to changing the orientation as indicated in the above comment, I suggest using the "Warp Out" effect as the player is going to warp.

Badlands: This is a good map with a fun battle and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" and other phrases in lieu of actual responses from the player.

Deck B: This is a good map with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" and other phrases in lieu of actual responses from the player.
-The hatch used to seal the hanger bay does not completely cover the doorway.

Deck C: This is a good map with fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" and other phrases in lieu of actual responses from the player.

Badlands#2: This is a good map with several fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" and other phrases in lieu of actual responses from the player.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 05/23/2014 on forum posting for: Zorbane's Mission List.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 9,374
# 985
05-23-2014, 06:30 PM
Wanted to submit my next mission.

Fed: Level 50+

Scars of the Pride, Part 3:Toxin
Synopsis: It has been two days since the attack on the U.S.S. Simba. With Admiral Taka in a coma, your only hope of catching the raiders was a tracking device planted on the stolen Borg technology by Commander M'Kiara. Now the technology has surfaced on a world deep within Klingon Space. On this forgotten world you will discover the inner-workings of a plot to destroy the federation itself. Report to Deep Space K-7 in the Eta Eridani sector block to rendezvous with the U.S.S. Simba and stop a hidden evil from rising. Level 50+


Still newish considering I posted it right before the foundry went down. Let me know if you find any major bugs.
King of Lions rawr! Protect the wildlife of the world. Check out my foundry series Perfection and Scars of the Pride.
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...1#post13990891
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 986
05-24-2014, 11:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashkrik23 View Post
Wanted to submit my next mission.

Fed: Level 50+

Scars of the Pride, Part 3:Toxin
Synopsis: It has been two days since the attack on the U.S.S. Simba. With Admiral Taka in a coma, your only hope of catching the raiders was a tracking device planted on the stolen Borg technology by Commander M'Kiara. Now the technology has surfaced on a world deep within Klingon Space. On this forgotten world you will discover the inner-workings of a plot to destroy the federation itself. Report to Deep Space K-7 in the Eta Eridani sector block to rendezvous with the U.S.S. Simba and stop a hidden evil from rising. Level 50+


Still newish considering I posted it right before the foundry went down. Let me know if you find any major bugs.
Hi ashkrik23,

Welcome back to the queue. Your latest mission is currently 24th in the queue behind nikkojt. I am making headway on the queue as time permits.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
Quote:
Originally Posted by confedinblue View Post
I would like to request a review of my mission, The Devil's Playground.

Mission Name: The Devil's Playground
Author: confedinblue
Minimum Level: 41+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HE4GS98P8
Estimated Mission Length: 1 to 1.25 hours

Forum Thread: http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh....php?t=1019191

Summary: You are ordered to the Noro System to investigate why contact was lost with a research team.

Thanks!
Federation Mission - The Devil's Playground
Author: confedinblue
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HE4GS98P8

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: The mission is a good concept but needs work on the story, maps and battles. There is a lot of potential for developing this mission into a great mission with objectives, story dialogue, and tough battles. Below I mention the need for a more detailed description and grant dialogue in order to draw the player in. As the mission moved forward the lack of dialogue, objectives for the player to resolve, or even interaction with the multitude of scientist all over the station seemed odd. The multitudes of NPCs are all opportunities to use optional dialogue that adds to the story but does not require an actual mission objective. You could also use the multitudes of NPCs on the map to add actual mission objectives that tell different parts of the story. Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a grind mission but even those types of missions need something to drive the mission forward from battle to battle.

Below are several things I wanted to let you know about. The use of the response button "Continue" has been covered in many of my reviews so I will not go into any real detail regarding it here.

Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: The description needs more of the story to draw the player in and make them want to click the 'Hail' button. It should be a summary of the overall story without giving anything away. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant dialogue also needs more of the story to draw the player in and make them want to click the 'Accept' button. The grant dialogue is where you really hook the player. The description will give the player a summary of the story but the grant dialogue is where you hook the player. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: The initial task is okay but consider adding the sector block so the player knows exactly where to start. I noted no spelling errors with this task

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the entry prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Noro System: The map design is well done with placement of optional combat; however I am not sure this map is required. The only mission objective on the map is fly across and beam down. Consider adding more mission objectives or removing the map.

Finding Research Station Entrance: This is a simple map design with one low level enemy mob. The story dialogue is simple with no spelling or grammatical errors. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" was used for every dialogue with the exception of the map transfer text. From this point I will note each map it is used on.
-There is an anomaly clearly visible to the left of the tower as you leave the clearing and yet no mention is made of it. No discussion, no investigation, it seems odd. Consider adding mission objectives regarding the presence of the anomaly or remove it.

Research Facility: This is a nice map design with simple battles. The story dialogue is simple with no spelling or grammatical errors. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" for all dialogue.
-There is a Klingon Federation officer with the legs sticking in the support beam about 2 meters off the ground in the front of the turbo lift. It was also visible before the "Get to turbolift" task was available. Was this intentional?
-If the facility is a Federation science facility why is it Klingon in design? There is nothing in any of the dialogue that explains it.
-One of the mission tasks has the player "Explore facility" but there are no obvious objectives for the player to explore. Simply moving around the facility I appeared to achieve that goal. The player walks past federation scientists without examining or checking them in anyway. These are opportunities to place optional mission objectives that the player can examine but do not hold up the mission.
-There is an NPC standing in one of the rooms at the end of the corridor that appears to be one of the enemy that attacks us later in the map. There is no indication of her purpose in the room or on the map at that point. Consider adding optional dialogue with this NPC to add to the story.

Deeper into facility: This is a nice map design with simple battles. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" for all dialogue.
-Getting to the consoles for the "Check computer logs" tasks felt really unnecessary. The battles with the epogh felt odd. The obstacles that first blocked us and then disappeared seemed odd. It appeared to add nothing to the mission or the story.
-The log review; consider changing "direct him to Quo'nos" to read "direct him to Qo'noS".
-The map transfer dialogue appears to be one of my BOFFs on the ship. Consider making it a tactical BOFF or other away team member.

Facility Control room: This map design is okay but needs some work. The battles are very tough and overwhelming. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The objective is there and the location on the map but no dialogue explaining anything the player is supposed to do in the room.
-The console used in the mission task "Close portal to Gre'thor" is buried in the deck in front of the command chair.

On the way out: This is a nice map design with very tough battles. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue" for all dialogue.

To the Transporter: This is a nice map design with very tough battles. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The objective is there and the location on the map but no dialogue explaining anything except when the player reaches the transporter.

Leaving Noro System: This is a nice map design with several tough battles and only one required battle to end the mission. It is essentially a grinder battle with no respawn points. I used my cloaking device to bypass most of the bad guys that were not required to finish the mission. There is nothing at the end of the map to wrap the mission up. Consider adding dialogue that has the player report the final status.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. The concept is good but you need to work on the mission execution a little more to make it a great mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 05/26/2014 on forum posting for: The Devil's Playground
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Ensign
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 7
# 988 Time for Tribble Troubles
06-01-2014, 03:57 PM
Please valuate for me. Thanks!

Mission Name: Time for Tribble Troubles
Author: jezaleigha
Minimum Level: none
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HUXDG4Y00
Estimated Mission Length: 25 minutes
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
# 989
06-05-2014, 12:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jezaleigha View Post
Please valuate for me. Thanks!

Mission Name: Time for Tribble Troubles
Author: jezaleigha
Minimum Level: none
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HUXDG4Y00
Estimated Mission Length: 25 minutes
Hi jezaleigha,

Welcome to the queue. Your mission is currently 22nd in the queue behind ashkrik23. I will get to your mission as soon as I can.

Thanks for authoring,
Brian
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 830
Quote:
Originally Posted by starfarertheta View Post
I would like to see a detailed report on this mission:


Mission: “A Routine Mission”

Author: starfarertheta

Minimum Level: No restrictions

Faction: Federation

Project ID: ST-HA6JIBXJD

Estimated Length: 20-35 minutes.
Federation Mission - A Routine Mission
Author: starfarertheta
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HA6JIBXJD

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great exploration mission with excellent story dialogue. I gave it 5 stars because I like story oriented missions. Just as the title says this mission has no combat at all. The use of optional, triggered, combat could be added to your mission but based on the story within the mission I do not think it would work. I would still recommend it to other players who enjoy a good story oriented exploration mission, although not on Elite level. I am just kidding about the elite level.

I mentioned the use of optional mission elements lacking any real detailed information. This is a problem if you want players to spend more time exploring your story oriented mission. If too many of the optional elements contain no details regarding the mission then the player will eventually begin ignoring them. At that point there is no reason to have them. Optional elements allow the author to provide more of the story to the player while not requiring completion to get through a map. It gives you the chance to flesh out more of the story which makes exploratory missions more interesting to play.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Consider adding the start location to the initial task. This would make it easier for players to find the start.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
The Nebula: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue and nice optional mission elements. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Some of your optional investigation points on this map lack of any detailed information which can be annoying. After a few of these types of encounters the player will ignore optional investigation points. Consider adding more story elements to all optional mission investigation points. I will note this on the remaining maps and cover in more detail in the summary.
-The Exploration: Destroyed Ship dialogue; consider changing "but I cannot iden" to read "but I cannot identify how it was destroyed".
-The Exploration: Anomalous Reading dialogue; consider changing the response button "That is why we are here. Halm, set a course" to read "That is why we are here. Helm, set a course".
-The Exploration: Lighting Bolt dialogue; consider changing "Was that lighting bold that just shot past us" to read "Was that lighting bolt that just shot past us".
-Exploration: Anomalous Reading; dialogue; consider changing "in the immediate vacinity" to read "in the immediate vicinity".

Abandoned Borg Asteroid Facility: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. Some of the optional mission dialogue needs work. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Some of your optional investigation points on this map lack of any detailed information.
-The optional mission element "Mess with some circuits" reveals an NPC standing in the debris saying "That's not funny Q" but no other dialogue discussing it. My assumption is this is supposed to be a hologram of some kind. Consider adding dialogue that discusses the presence of the NPC and provides some explanation for its presence.

The Nebula: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 06/05/2014 on forum posting for: "The Unsung Mission" Collection.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details. Also see Evil 70th's list of missions at "Evil 70th's Missions".
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