Ensign
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2
Hey

I've become so involved in STO I felt compelled to start writing about my STO characters and have just uploaded the first part of my first story in what I intend to be a series.

Would welcome any positive comments or constructive criticism.

Click the link to read

http://trekfanfiction.net/miscellane...clothing-pt-1/
Lieutenant
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 69
# 2
08-08-2012, 01:41 PM
Good read! I like your Captain, he opens up all kinds of insight into someone of his species with a non traditional upbringing.

I'm looking forward to part 2
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 396
# 3
08-08-2012, 03:44 PM
An intriguing opening.

Nothing major I can think of to add aside from transporter chief doesn't need a capital C, hyperspanner not hypo (I looked that up on memory alpha first ) also which rank of chief is he? When I write I introduce characters with their full rank. I just think it sets the character better, but that's just what works for me.
I originally thought your captain was Romulan when you said Vulcan cousins but it was interesting to make him an atypical Vulcan.
Is your Trill officer's name based on Jadzia Dax or is that just a coincidence I'm looking too much into?

I use a different site for mine, memory gamma, but I like pictures
Ensign
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2
# 4
08-09-2012, 12:42 AM
Thank for the comments,

@nrobbiec

Thanks for pointing that out for the spanner, I'm a big fan of Memory Alpha myself

I didn't go into too much detail about the transporter chief as I don't intend for him to really appear again and it was more of a "cameo" appearance.

And the name being similar to Dax, that was just coincidence, when I've being playing STO I've just gone for randomly generated names each time I gain a new crew member and that's what it came out with. I did consider changing it because of it's similarity but thought sod it.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6
# 5
08-09-2012, 09:22 AM
this might be something I have to follow, it's had a good start and you go into some good depth with the characters so far.

you took the opposite approach to me though my main captain and crew on STO are based off a storyline I was working on about a year before I started playing STO.
Formerly:
Jagged_Jade on the forums
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