Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 586
I bet no one's ever thought to make fun of the ships in this game.

And wow... I'm making a thread just to say...

Captain: Alright, Starfleet! Time to form Prometheus!!!

*the three ships go into formation*

Captain: Form nacelles and pylons!

Captain: Form the hull and deflector!

Captain: And I'll form the Saucer Section!!!

Prometheus crew: Go Prometheu... *BOOM!*

Bortasq' Ship First Officer: Target destroyed.

Bortasq' Captain: Good. Line up the next target!
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 658
# 2
08-14-2012, 04:06 AM
1.

The Borg assimilated a copy of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.

Next time on ISE, look out for the tactical fusion cube when you attack the first group of enemies.

If you look carefully into one of the windows of the Tactical Cube look out for some silly rainbow coloured drones in motorcycle suits doing various kung fu moves, followed by the 'Deploy Megazord!' command where 7 other Tactical Cubes will transwarp in and join together to form the TFC


2.


The Borg assimilated a hello kitty plush toy deliberately left behind on Cure Ground Elite.

They thought it's a Federation secret weapon so they assimilate it, since the topic of hello kittys are roughly similar to all the other wierd Federation media they have downloaded from assimilated ships' hard drives like Transformers, Gundams, cute anime girls, the Klingon version of Ganguro Girls, etc.

Next time some MACO operatives entered the CGE map they found not a single Borg drone in sight, and Armek was dressed in pink, had adorable bunny ears and devoid of weapons. Armek played with the Fed troopers and made friends and Vorn System became a resort world happily ever after.

From then on that map is named Cute Ground Elite.

3.

When a Galaxy R separates the battle section, the saucer is renamed into a Starfleet Saucer.

Does that mean that there's a Starfleet Teacup too? If so I want one.

Next time in the C-store, look out for the Captain Picard Complete Tea Set, which includes the saucer section, teacup section, teaspoon module and the all-important sugar box console.

This gives you not only the ability to Multi-Vector Tea N' Cupcakes ** assault the enemy, but you can do it in Olde English style too.

** Player with Deanna Troi's Betazed Cake Set required. Cake Set not included in purchase.
STF Flight Instructor since Early 2012. Newbies are the reason why STO lives and breathes today. Do not discriminate.

My Youtube Channel

Last edited by carmenara; 08-14-2012 at 04:15 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 649
# 3
08-14-2012, 05:57 AM
The sovereign class has no neck, the galaxy class's saucer is an egg, the excelsior has a gut, the TOS Ent does not look cool enough. The defiant is a box with wings, the ambassador class is the offspring of the constitution class and an excelsior class. If the intrepid flaps its nacelles hard enough it will go to warp. lol
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 586
# 4
08-14-2012, 10:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by carmenara View Post
2.


The Borg assimilated a hello kitty plush toy deliberately left behind on Cure Ground Elite.

They thought it's a Federation secret weapon so they assimilate it, since the topic of hello kittys are roughly similar to all the other wierd Federation media they have downloaded from assimilated ships' hard drives like Transformers, Gundams, cute anime girls, the Klingon version of Ganguro Girls, etc.

Next time some MACO operatives entered the CGE map they found not a single Borg drone in sight, and Armek was dressed in pink, had adorable bunny ears and devoid of weapons. Armek played with the Fed troopers and made friends and Vorn System became a resort world happily ever after.

From then on that map is named Cute Ground Elite.
This part made me cringe with fear...
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,507
# 5
08-14-2012, 11:10 AM
Sometimes when piloting my Atrox carrier I imagine the conversation is a bit like this

Helm: Captain! Enemy ships preparing to fire from behind us!

Captain: Helm, Turn Hard to Port and engage the enemy... I'll be in my ready room, let me know after my nap when we complete the turn

Hel: Aye Aye Captain!
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 586
# 6
08-14-2012, 07:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by raj011 View Post
If the intrepid flaps its nacelles hard enough it will go to warp. lol
So if an Intrepid class ship flaps its nacelles too hard it'll end up the way Voyager did?
Ensign
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2
# 7
08-14-2012, 07:49 PM
I just want to know why my Connie refit doesn't have the fun technicolor Disco theme when I go to warp...

Also, in my ships, I noticed that the ceiling is TOO DAMN HIGH! (

BTW, All I can think of after reading about Cute Ground is watching 12 Hello Kitty Borg transporting behind me... I'm going to have to keep turning around next time I play that...

"HOLY S***! Is that Hello Kitty?!?"

"Oh, no... it's just a dozen elite tactical drones, I need to re-modulate, my seeker drone died and my Orbital Strike is still recharging for another minute and a half."

"Oh, I thought we had a problem there for a minute."

Lieutenant
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 83
# 8
08-14-2012, 09:17 PM
Jem'Hadar Ship Captain: Open Fire!

Weapons Officer: Target destroyed, sir!

Captain: Really? That easily?

Weapons Officer: Well this ship has the best base stats of any escort in the game.

Captain: But it's 20 years old! And even MODERN dominion ships of this type are not much stronger than our Frigates!

Engineering Officer: Maybe they retrofitted it?

Ship Counselor: Guys, this is Cryptic we're talking about. Just go with it.

Captain: ...Guess I don't have a choice...

Navigation Officer: Oooh, Captain look! A Lock Box just inexplicably fell out of that destroyed ship!

Captain: Full speed ahead! Janitor, can you lend me your master keys?

Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 5,621
# 9
08-14-2012, 10:31 PM
D'kora Captain: *in Clint Eastwood's voice, talking to the weakened enemy while his ship is in defensive mode* I know what you're thinking, did I fire six torpedoes, or only five? To tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kind of lost track myself. I'm using Tricobalt Torpedoes, the most powerful torpedoes in the quadrant, and it'd blow your ship clean apart.

Now...you gotta ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky?

*the D'kora shifts into battle mode* Well...do ya, punk?

Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 185
# 10
08-15-2012, 01:08 AM
The best part about the Atrox Carrier is the giant sandbox in the commons area on the crew deck. Both kids and my Caitian officers love it!

Most of my characters suck | I suck at Twitter, too!
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