Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 115
Hello all, I finally completed my first mission in what I hope will be a good arc (4 or 5 chapters). I know it's a bit short but as I said it's my first and it's more of an introduction to the story then anything.

Please let me know what you think! It is currently in the review stage
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 115
# 2
06-26-2012, 04:03 PM
Hello all, I just updated this mission last night to fix some grammar errors and clear up some language that was a tad confusing. I've only had one review by a fleet mate so I could really use some more input.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 115
# 3
07-01-2012, 09:26 AM
Thanks to those that have played and reviewed my game so far! It's made it out into the general list with just under a 4 star rating (mostly because someone gave it a 1 star yet gave no reason). Still looking for a lot more feedback so if you're looking for a nice, not to long mission I ask you to give mine a try.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,007
# 4
07-01-2012, 09:36 AM
There's a request a review thread here if you want to give it a shot:

http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...d.php?t=276951

May spike some interest.

Oh and you may want to get used to the one star reviews. Some folks here are out to ruin it for everybody

edit: And heck, at least you can get into the foundry. Doing better than I can.
---
Took 20 minutes to get that screencap and her arm is still doing through the armrest
Dr. Mike's Steak Dinner

35 Starbase Projects done. 715 Projects remaining
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 115
# 5
07-01-2012, 03:02 PM
Actually already on evil's list, but think I still got a good wait before he gets to me.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 115
# 6
07-05-2012, 06:42 PM
For those interested plan on releasing part two sometime after season 6 as there are some additions I'm thinking of using that we'll get with the update.

Questions though:

1: I can bring over all the unique costumes I used in the first mission in the second by importing them into a new space, correct?

2: When foundry is updated will I be able to still edit my old projects?
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,445
# 7
07-05-2012, 10:39 PM
Yea you can import your old project over and then delete everything else
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicochavez View Post
I've got my first ever mission up and would love your opinion:

Mission Name: Star Trek: Allegiance
Author: chicochavez
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HTZQSHUM2
Estimated Mission Length: 30+ min
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post
Federation Mission - Star Trek: Allegiance
Author: chicochavez
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HTZQSHUM2

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great mission with good map designs, fun battles, and excellent story dialogue. The only real thing I think you should consider is adding "Skip Dialogue" buttons with a summary of the information for the longer dialogue. That way the player has the option to just get the information they need to continue the mission. As for the mission I was completely pulled into the story, and without giving away anything in the story, I was suspicious of the antagonists' motives from the beginning. I would highly recommend this mission to any player who likes a combination of good map design, tough, but fun battles, and excellent story dialogue.

Below are a couple of things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a well written and intriguing description. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider changing "This dissent can harmless" to read "This dissent can be harmless".

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: This is a good initial task with a clear location for the first NPC contact to start the mission. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Starfleet Academy (Cryptic Map) : This is a good use of the Cryptic map as a bridge to the mission. You provided a clear location for the start of the first custom map. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Academy Cadet dialogue; consider changing the response button "Continue" to read "Thank you cadet" or something along those lines.

Holodeck 3: This is a good map design with excellent dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Briar Patch: This is an excellent map design with some fun battles and well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Command Center: This is a great map design with tough but fun battles and very well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Computer Core: This is a good map design with a tough but fun battle. The story dialogue is very compelling. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The "Ferengi Lock Boxes" reference is funny but is a little bit of a distraction to the feel of the mission. Consider changing it to something else or just a straight response to the dialogue.

Briar Patch: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The Vice Admiral Rodriguez dialogue; consider changing "[LastName], We know what you've just done here" to read "[LastName], we know what you've just done here".

U.S.S. Hartford - Bridge: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue that wraps up the mission nicely. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job with this mission and I am looking forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future, especially the continuation of this series. I noted that the review system for foundry missions seems to be offline; otherwise I would have left a 5 star rating for this mission.
Brian

This critique report also filed 08/04/20 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 713
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicochavez View Post
Hello evil, congrats on the spotlight! I've finally got part two of my series up and ready to play, and I'd like your thoughts on it

Mission Name: Star Trek: Alleginace Part 2
Author: chicochavez
Minimum Level: 31+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HQPX3LMP7
Estimated Mission Length: 1 Hour+
Method of Report Delivery: Forum Post
Federation Mission - Star Trek: Alleginace Part 2
Author: chicochavez
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HQPX3LMP7

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good mission and follow up to the previous mission. Your attention to detail in the story is reflected in the writing. Despite the lengthy nature of this mission it was very riveting most of the way through. Your map design was good throughout the mission with plenty of tough battles in between the story dialogue. I think there is enough here for every player, although you may want to consider putting in "Skip Dialogue" buttons, which lead to a summary of information the player needs to continue the mission. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players but not on elite. Some of the ground battles were very tough on normal and would most likely be nearly impossible on elite.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: This is a good grant dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Despite the fact that you included the start location for the first custom map in the grant dialogue, you should consider including it in the initial task. This will help players find your mission start more easily. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Kassae System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Bridge - U.S.S. Glenn H. Curtiss: This is a good map design with well written and very detailed story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Gypsy Train Comet Group: This is a good map design with a good battle and very well written story dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The post "Beam Aboard Survivor" dialogue; consider changing "Perhapse their chief engineer is leaving us a trail" to read "Perhaps their chief engineer is leaving us a trail".

Briar Patch: This is a good map design with a good battle and very well written dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

Facility 4028: This is a great map design with several tough battles and one very tough battle. The story dialogue is very well written. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-There is an issue with the respawn points deeper in the map as you reach the bottom of the facility. On the "Defeat Upgrade Xaz Squad" I had to respawn and ended up far below the map in open space. I had to leave the mission and reenter to continue the mission.
-Consider changing the "Talk to Dead Agent" button that triggers repeatable dialogue to triggered dialogue using an invisible object to trigger the dialogue. Then once the player has read the dialogue it goes away.
-I am also not sure how I feel about the dead agents and the conversation that takes place. I think you should leave them alive and just imprisoned beyond the energy bridge.
-The "Confront Megas" NPCs are all facing the wall of the upper observation room and look like they are interacting with it. It looks odd, was this intentional?
-The post "Release Bulkhead C-12" dialogue response button; consider changing "Mover out, doubletime" to read "Move out, double time".

Bridge - U.S.S. Glenn H. Curtiss: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue and is a good wrap up to this mission. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job with this mission and the series so far. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 10/04/2012 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 115
# 10
10-04-2012, 11:51 PM
Got more questions and replies in your main thread evil, but for those other players reading this first, yes the NPC group at the end and the respawns are bugs that I will fix as soon as I can. If you wish to wait till I make the changes I understand completely and will post when those changes have been made.
Play Star Trek: Allegiance - my first series in the Foundry
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