Career Officer
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 93
Hey all,

I have finished State of the Union part I and have published for public scrutiny. This is not a follow up to "No Prize for Second Contact", but I hope it has some of the same elements and feelings that those mission evoked.

This initial version may have a few areas that I'm going to change\update in later versions, but for now, it's fully playable hopefully will be fully enjoyable.

IF there are any game breaking bugs, I will find them and destroy them ASAP.

Thank you all, happy playing!

-Council Spectre \ Contactpsi

Last edited by councilspectre; 05-02-2014 at 01:30 PM. Reason: Update
Career Officer
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 93
# 2
04-20-2014, 09:13 AM
/bump

Anyone? Somebody?

It's really good, I promise!
Commander
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 356
# 3
04-20-2014, 10:58 AM
I just ran it through and it's very good!
I made some notes of things to consider touching up - there are a fair few, but it is mostly minor stuff, and I note it with the intention of helping you, rather than saying "this sucks".

In no particular order-
Quote:
Spelling & Grammar
- One of the aliens stares at you "definantly". This should be "defiantly".
- One of your crew mentions that something will take "fourty-minutes". This should be "forty minutes".
- One of your crew says that we don't want to "loose" the aliens from the Federation. This should be "lose". Similarly, it's said that you're "loosing" control of the ship, which should be "losing".
- It's mentioned that an "arguement" is contradictory. This should be "argument".
"Borg", "Dominion", and "Federation" are not capitalized in most cases, though they should be.
- "Independence" is misspelled as "independance".
- It's mentioned that "the politics is handled by Starfleet". This should be "are handled".
- You question the aliens' decision to replace their ambassador with "your replacing your -ambassador...". This should be "you're replacing...".
- One of your crew says that "the councilors personal cargo" has been stowed. There should be an apostrophe after "councilors".
- When confronting the Syranis, one of the alien diplomats says "we should not escalated" the situation. This should be either "we should not escalate" or "should not have escalated".
- One of the aliens mentions "giving creedance to secession". This should be "credence".

Stylistic & Design
- When in the conference room, consider switching from Interact objectives to Speak With Contact for some of the dialogue objectives.
- After leaving the lounge once the gas had been released, I noticed that the crew in the corridor outside had not evacuated.
- Consider spacing out the crew members standing at the bar in the lounge. Some of them were almost hugging.
- When department chiefs of your own ship hail you, consider using the "[department] officer (Ship)" costume to represent them, instead of generic NPCs.
- In my opinion, you should avoid assigning names to personnel who are part of the player's own crew (i.e. Ensign Maybridge). While many players may not mind, people who take their crews seriously may resent it.
- On a similar note, when heading for the lounge, one of your away team says they used to be quite the hustler back at the Academy. This is a little awkward if the player has characterized that boff as (for example) a football player, or if the player is Romulan (since Romulan officers are unlikely to have attended Starfleet Academy, or played pool).
- Consider adding a respawn point to the map where you have to reach the comet. Since the Syranis NPC is capable of destroying ships with lower hull values quite easily (the Nebula Interference debuff affects shields, and the NPC fires very dangerous torp spreads), it's a little frustrating to be reset back to the beginning when you can't even use full impulse to get back to where you died.
- Speaking of the Syranis, at the end of the same map, for the objective "Defeat the Syranis", the NPC spawns in a position where it gets stuck on an asteroid. While it can get clear if you lure it the right way, it's a bit immersion-breaking to see it stuck halfway through the rock.
It's a very good mission, as I said, and I will play it through again once it's complete.
I am NikkoJT, Foundry author and terrible player. Follow me!
Career Officer
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 93
# 4
04-20-2014, 02:06 PM
Thank you so much for the feedback. This mission is still in early design, so I appreciate your attention to detail.

In regards to the "random officer" issue. I've noticed that when you beam down to ground missions, sometimes your crew assignments in the stations tab is cleared, causing random people to speak to you. What I do is load the station screen each time I beam down, it populates your crew, and everything else is fine.
Commander
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 356
# 5
04-20-2014, 02:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by councilspectre View Post
In regards to the "random officer" issue. I've noticed that when you beam down to ground missions, sometimes your crew assignments in the stations tab is cleared, causing random people to speak to you. What I do is load the station screen each time I beam down, it populates your crew, and everything else is fine.
This might have been it. I just assumed it was intentional because one of the officers looked like an NPC seen elsewhere in the game, so I figured you'd picked premade costumes. Probably just a coincidence given the bug, though.
I am NikkoJT, Foundry author and terrible player. Follow me!
Career Officer
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 93
# 6
04-20-2014, 03:20 PM
I have that bug on my account anytime I play any mission. Beaming down erases my ship's stations. Pretty annoying!

Anyway, you're notes are excellent. I'll be working on those issues ASAP. Thank you again!
Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 302
# 7
04-21-2014, 06:06 AM
Hey, I'll go take a look at them when I have some time...got a bunch of school and life first (prepping for sister's wedding )
Career Officer
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 93
# 8
04-21-2014, 12:46 PM
Thanks!

I just finished two more chapters. By "finished" I mean they're mostly complete. I need to go back through and play test about a thousand times and run all the dialog through Word to check for spelling and grammar.

Also, Cryptic, please put a spell checker in the Foundry. Oh god. Please.
Career Officer
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 93
# 9
04-30-2014, 11:56 PM
Barring any major new errors that I haven't already fixed,

State of the Union part I should be out tonight or tomorrow afternoon.

I'm not sure if reviewing is still off. If that's the case, I won't publish it until people can actually review it.
Career Officer
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 93
# 10
05-01-2014, 12:32 AM
Well, the mission is finished but I can't publish it.

The error says that the "log project needs to be replenished." Whatever that means...

Welp, a little longer!
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