Captain
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# 131
02-27-2013, 08:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mussapiens View Post
Thank you kindly :p. Osroe is a fun perspective to write from - I'm steadily getting a feel for my characters and what their personalities are going to be. I rather wanted to avoid the trope of "here's something WORSE than the horrible monster!", and my giggly, girly, huggy Trill seemed the perfect perspective to write from.
She certainly did seem a bit like a fish out of water, but she coped admirably under the circumstances
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# 132
02-27-2013, 08:19 PM
Quote:
Marcus' emotional control was not as complete as that of a Vulcan, despite spending nearly eight years under Sovak's tutelage, simply because as a Human, his brain simply does not possess the same structures which the Vulcan brain has which enable them to suppress their emotions as much as they do: What they are able to learn to do through biology, Marcus had to learn to do through sheer force of will and mental discipline, hence why he would sometimes have shown more emotion than was considered 'proper' in Vulcan society.
Were the Vulcans as stuffy and bigoted in his time as they were in Enterprise? As in, did they accept that there were biological differences that meant Marcus' behavior and intellect were going to function differently from a Vulcan? In other words...did Sovak accept Marcus for the human he was rather than the Vulcan he couldn't really be?

Quote:
I think Intelligence might have paired them not only knowing that Alyosha could not kill him, but equally, it would have been that Marcus would have had no fear of working with him, knowing that he posed no threat to him, where other operatives may have been apprehensive. I think they would have made a rather effective team
It could be interesting to write something showing them working together. Equally, it would also be interesting to see it from Marcus' point of view, seeing as Marcus would be by far the more mature individual in the interaction. (Alyosha would be only 19 at the time--equivalent to the human age of 23 or 24 given the compressed early childhood I envision for Devidians.)

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Captain
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# 133
02-28-2013, 01:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
I will try to add some subtle changes to her personality, but to a lesser extent than we see some other Trill. (not trying to sound like a jerk there, just can't think of any other way of putting it)
You don't sound like a jerk. BTW, I forgot to mention...I found myself really liking Zizania a lot more than I've liked most Trill symbionts. I personally thought that until we saw Dax in Ezri, that Dax was a jerk. I base this on what we hear about Curzon, and the way that (IMHO) Dax overwhelmed Jadzia's personality with all of these Curzon traits. (It's also rather telling that one really BAD combination, with Joran, created a serial killer! )

Zizania's courtesy, in contrast, makes it really stand out. Perhaps it's the sort of symbiont that does well when matched to quieter hosts that might need a symbiont that's not as...well...rowdy as Dax or as controlling as Odan.

Quote:
EDIT: Just noticed something: A fair portion of the main (or former main) characters for the LC's I've seen so far have been "Superhuman" in some way or another. Not saying that's a bad thing, as it certainly makes for some interesting stories. Just pointing something out. Bryan, on the other hand , is really just an average guy. About the only thing he has is the fact that he's quite tactically savvy. Again, not saying that superhuman is bad, just noticing a fact...I should probably stop while I still have a head
There's nothing wrong with Bryan.

I just hope the rest of us don't seem to be creating Mary Sues/Gary Stus!

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Ensign
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# 134
02-28-2013, 01:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
She certainly did seem a bit like a fish out of water, but she coped admirably under the circumstances
I wanted to write a bottle episode - one where the meat of it took place in a small set, with one character, and all the limitations and challenges thereof. Osroe exists in my mind as someone who would deal phenomenally poorly with such a situation - she's loud and social, eager to explore and discover, restless and bad with boredom. Like with how my first story drew from the fact that I had just finished reading the Time Machine, this took from a particularly wonderful episode of Stargate: Atlantis that faced a similar challenge: lock a neurotic character in a small room with his fears.

Except now I'm thinking similar for all my characters - and it's remarkable how one bridge officer's fantasy is another's glimpse at hell.
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# 135
02-28-2013, 05:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Were the Vulcans as stuffy and bigoted in his time as they were in Enterprise?
In Marcus' youth, you're talking the mid 2300's, just prior to TNG, so they would not have been as bad as in Enterprise... That's not to say that there weren't some Vulcans who could still act like jerks... (As seen in the DS-9 episode where Sisko's old Academy rival was at the station) Marcus' first interaction with Selek was one such incident... On their first day at the new school, he and Alix were unable to find their class, so she asked Selek for directions. Selek brushed them off, saying that when lost, it was logical to use a map. Marcus countered that when one is unable to read the writing on the map, it was logical to ask directions from someone familiar with the area, which Selek had no answer to, beyond assisting them. It took several similar debates before Selek decided to accept Marcus as a worthy companion, but by the time they undertook the kahs-wan, their friendship was unbreakable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
As in, did they accept that there were biological differences that meant Marcus' behavior and intellect were going to function differently from a Vulcan? In other words...did Sovak accept Marcus for the human he was rather than the Vulcan he couldn't really be?
As a behavioral therapist, Sovak would only have wished to assist another being regain balance and serenity. He would certainly have viewed Marcus as a unique challenge to his skills as a tutor, and something of an experiment to see if a Human could find solace from Vulcan meditative techniques, but he did take a measure of satisfaction with how well Marcus responded to the training, and considered him to be an exceptional pupil. In general, Vulcan adults would have been politely tolerant, and not expected anything other than Human behavior, before being pleasantly surprised that Marcus actually had 'Vulcan Manners'. One such instance, was when Marcus was invited to Selek's home for a meal, and he asked to whom the harp on the wall belonged, having taken lessons. Selek's father, Sotek, invited him to play it, and was quietly impressed by his grasp of the instrument. Of course, some other youths displayed the same kind of arrogance that Solok displayed towards Sisko, which only spurred Marcus to be even more Vulcan in his demeanor and to be able to do everything they did, so he asked Selek to teach him the nerve pinch.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
It could be interesting to write something showing them working together. Equally, it would also be interesting to see it from Marcus' point of view, seeing as Marcus would be by far the more mature individual in the interaction. (Alyosha would be only 19 at the time--equivalent to the human age of 23 or 24 given the compressed early childhood I envision for Devidians.)
It would definitely be interesting to see, maybe a future LC will offer the opportunity to explore that

Last edited by marcusdkane; 02-28-2013 at 05:48 AM.
Captain
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# 136
02-28-2013, 05:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mussapiens View Post
I wanted to write a bottle episode - one where the meat of it took place in a small set, with one character, and all the limitations and challenges thereof. Osroe exists in my mind as someone who would deal phenomenally poorly with such a situation - she's loud and social, eager to explore and discover, restless and bad with boredom. Like with how my first story drew from the fact that I had just finished reading the Time Machine, this took from a particularly wonderful episode of Stargate: Atlantis that faced a similar challenge: lock a neurotic character in a small room with his fears.

Except now I'm thinking similar for all my characters - and it's remarkable how one bridge officer's fantasy is another's glimpse at hell.
I think you did a fantastic job in dong that As before, your first entry actually made me think more of the end of AI, than the Time Machine, but I thoroughly enjoyed it Absolutely, they're all unique individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses, so there would have been many different reactions to the situations, a bit like in the episode of Stargate: Universe, and how each person behaved the first time the Destiny flew through a star to refuel Likewise, it's now making me consider what would be my own officers worst fears
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# 137
02-28-2013, 06:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
EDIT: Just noticed something: A fair portion of the main (or former main) characters for the LC's I've seen so far have been "Superhuman" in some way or another. Not saying that's a bad thing, as it certainly makes for some interesting stories. Just pointing something out. Bryan, on the other hand , is really just an average guy. About the only thing he has is the fact that he's quite tactically savvy. Again, not saying that superhuman is bad, just noticing a fact...I should probably stop while I still have a head
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
I just hope the rest of us don't seem to be creating Mary Sues/Gary Stus!
This is precisely why I decided to kill Marcus off, as I was worried that he came across as a Gary Stu, given the amount of detail I've given his past When I saw how SparklySoldier wrote him, however, I saw a character with a believable skill set for someone with his experiences and training, and was actually rather pleasantly surprised how plausible he read Supposing a British kid's dad was an engineer in the oil industry, and he was forced to move to Saudi Arabia on business... I don't think it would be implausible for the kid to become fluent in Arabic and start dressing like an Arab... Supposing the kid's mum dies the week before they are due to move, would it be implausible for him to seek solace in the passages of the Qur'an?... With my latest crew, I have been very careful to not imbue any of them with too many Mary/Gary tendencies (S'rR's is probably the most 'at risk', but she is not written as anything other than 'what she is') Amanda is just an average gal from Vegas, no different than what can be found today On the bridge of the Valkyrie, there's a Bolian, a Vulcan Bunny and a gay guy... Sounds like the beggining of a bad joke, but so far, they seem to be faily under control

Last edited by marcusdkane; 02-28-2013 at 06:31 AM.
Captain
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# 138
02-28-2013, 10:10 AM
@ Shevet: Absolutely fantastic entry
Rihannsu
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Posts: 216
# 139
02-28-2013, 10:44 AM
@ shevet

Great work! And certainly a great way of using the Andorian's unique physiology towards the end. And, if I had to guess, the following passage:
Quote:
The feeling of intimacy, shen to zhen.
is hinting at something

@ marcus

Your not the only one who's crew is rather unusual. For instance, Kerry Avalrez, my chief Tactical officer, is a workaholic to the point where she finds work more relaxing than anything else; Justin, my Chief of Security, is almost drill sergeant-like in the way he commands when the shooting starts; Syiseda, the chief medical officer, is a lesbian Betazoid (more on that one in a future story); Six of Nine, my chief Engineer, is probably the most chipper Borg you'll ever meet, especially for being liberated shortly after being knocked out by Bryan on the U.S.S. Khitomer about three years before the present time in his tale; Then we have the Operations chief a Vulcan named Syfil (no further explanation needed there, considering the rest of the crew); and too top all that off, we have Ibalei, chief science officer and First officer, who is sleeping with her CO. And that's just the Athena's senior staff. You'll probably see a lot more of these eccentricities when I begin writing more about the Athena when the crew's off-duty.On-duty...well, it's pretty obvious Bryan runs them all pretty tightly when they're on duty, so he tends to let things slide when they're not.
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Captain
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# 140
02-28-2013, 10:50 AM
Dang, now y'all are tempting me to write tales of one of my other characters, a Ferengi tactician who's gathered crew members rejected by other ships, other services, or their own species (his first officer/science officer, for instance, is a Klingon with pacifistic tendencies).

On the other hand, some of the tales I'm seeing in this LC are leaving me feeling a little inadequate to the task...
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