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# 11
02-20-2013, 09:42 AM
Whoa...just as I was hoping to get to know Lambert some more, this happens! He really must have been deeply disturbed to commit either of the acts seen there.
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Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,671
# 12
02-20-2013, 09:44 AM
Marcus - VERY nice. Short and to the point. I'm a fan of "sacrifice" and I think this was handled well

For my part, I realized I have finished two recent stories by the end of a phaser barrel, so I had to come up with something different. Also, this showcases some of my Bridge Officers in game.

This was a fun one!

Cast to be editted later ...
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
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# 13
02-20-2013, 09:48 AM
And wow...cmdrscarlet, that is one serious desire for revenge, to have done what she just did. She didn't just destroy the drone--she literally did the 25th century equivalent of running him down with her car! O_o

Maybe it's just me, but I find myself wondering if that Orion might have actually come around, if his life had been spared, to realize that through assimilation, and the marks he would've worn from it for the rest of his life, he would forever pay the penalty for what he had done to others when he had the free will to do so.



In other news, I think I've figured out the angle I'm going to go with Alyosha's "lone drone" encounter...
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# 14
02-20-2013, 10:51 AM
@ IceGavel: Really nice entry, the idea that Motstand had managed to retain a level of individuality during the assimilation process is both fantastic, and horrifying (in the best possible way) I always felt a deep sympathy of Captain Black in Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons, who, as penance for destroying the Mysteron city on Mars, was forced to watch from inside himself, as he was used as a puppet of terrorism by the Mysterons... Not even truly 'a bad guy', but a terrible situation to envisage
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# 15
02-20-2013, 10:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by squatsauce View Post
A short, sad entry by MarcusDKane. My only suggestion is to rework the following sentence. It's a bit clunky.

"As the doors closed, a silence fell on the bridge which could have been cut with a knife before Mayer discreetly cleared his throat."

It would read better if it were broken apart and rearranged slightly. Something like this:

"The doors closed and a silence thick enough to cut with a knife descended on the bridge. It hung there for a moment, broken only when Mayer discreetly cleared his throat."

Use your own words, of course, and mold it to your own pleasant style.

EDIT: Woah, it occurs to me this could be interpreted as being insulting! No way! I meant the story was short and that what happened in it was sad. Not that mdk's writing itself was sad. I liked it.
Thanks for the suggested revision, it gave me the opportunity to italicize the ship's name, and tweak a few details of Lambert's note And I never read your initial comment to mean that the quality of the writing was sad, but realized that you were referring to the subject matter
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# 16
02-20-2013, 11:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Whoa...just as I was hoping to get to know Lambert some more, this happens! He really must have been deeply disturbed to commit either of the acts seen there.
After the last few LCs, I felt that as a character, he just wasn't working, and that Mayer seemed to be more Amanda's 'go to guy', which pretty much undermined Lambert's position as first officer, so I decided it was time for him to book passage on the Barge of the Dead... Deeply disturbed... Hard to say, I think Klingons have a similar attitude towards suicide as the Samurai would have had, and that it was better to die by one's own hand, with ritual and calmness, than to live in disgrace (and one can't get more disgraced than to behave like he did...) By Human standards, yes. But by Klingon standards... Don't forget, Worf refused to make a life-saving donation to a wounded Romulan in vengeance, planned to undertake the hegh'bat when crippled, and was willing to undertake the mauk-to'vor when Kurn wanted to die...

I figure that this is something Lambert would always have wanted to do in any Borg encounter, but it would not have been until the upgrade of the bridge, which would have afforded him his own tactical station to actually be in a position to pull the trigger.
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# 17
02-20-2013, 11:06 AM
Quote:
Maybe it's just me, but I find myself wondering if that Orion might have actually come around, if his life had been spared, to realize that through assimilation, and the marks he would've worn from it for the rest of his life, he would forever pay the penalty for what he had done to others when he had the free will to do so.
That's an interesting point of view and anything is possible. It would seem to me that is a more humane approach ... but not for Kathryn

I have decided that the Borg are the ultimate threat to the galaxy, Undine be darned (and I really Really REALLY hate going up against them in-game). I dreaded the Borg watching the shows and thought Voyager was about to "jump the shark" with them in the last seasons. And in my opinion, Seven of Nine was mostly there for eye-candy that coincidentally is a form of plot development ... but that is another discussion.

Anyways, I've considered many avenues (as I'm sure we all are/will), but the warp speed hit-and-run was the most fun to me
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
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# 18
02-20-2013, 11:07 AM
Marcus--Admittedly I could see the similarities between the ritual you described and seppuku. So yeah, I could see where you were going with that, but it was still a deeply unnerving piece to read. Which I am sure was your intention.

ETA: cmdrscarlet--Got to agree with you there on Seven...she was the reason I quit watching VOY. Not a slam against the actor; I actually liked Jeri Ryan in Boston Public. But really disgusted with the obvious pandering to a certain demographic to drive ratings.

I wonder, in your case, if Amanda's crew will be left with misgivings about their captain, after receiving and carrying out orders like that?



BTW, I found the template to do one of those DOFF sigs and finally felt up to doing it iin Photoshop. And when I found that Tolstoy quote, I just had to use it.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


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Last edited by gulberat; 02-20-2013 at 11:10 AM.
Captain
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# 19
02-20-2013, 11:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
Marcus - VERY nice. Short and to the point. I'm a fan of "sacrifice" and I think this was handled well

For my part, I realized I have finished two recent stories by the end of a phaser barrel, so I had to come up with something different. Also, this showcases some of my Bridge Officers in game.

This was a fun one!

Cast to be editted later ...
Thanks Equally, I really enjoyed your entry, and totally understand why Kathryn chose to do what she did After I'd written the piece, I had to go and meet my wife from work, and was replaying what I'd written in my head, asking myself why would Amanda have the drone beamed aboard? I certainly never wanted to have a Borg character, and was mulling over an edit, when I realized: To allow the drone to be recovered by the incoming cube, would have been sentencing the poor soul to suffer re-assimilation, so as a wounded friendly, it was indeed her duty to rescue them I've worked out a designation for them as well, kudos and bragging rights to the first person who can work out the series which the designation is a tip of the hat to: Eleven of Twelve
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# 20
02-20-2013, 11:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Marcus--Admittedly I could see the similarities between the ritual you described and seppuku. So yeah, I could see where you were going with that, but it was still a deeply unnerving piece to read. Which I am sure was your intention.
My initial concept was to have the recovered drone be one of Amanda's former lovers who had been assimilated, but when told that they would not be able to be restored to their pre-assimilation status, they would have been found to have disabled their cortical node, but for some reason, I changed my mind and decided to use the opportunity for a crew shuffling, as I felt that Lambert just wasn't working... Equally, I hope it wasn't too disturbing to read, I thought better to have them discover him, rather than actually writing the event itself, which I felt would have been a step too far
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