Lieutenant
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 44
I've just finished, uploaded and test played my first full Foundry project entitled "Minefield". This is a story-centric mission in which you investigate the disappearance of a Starfleet vessel that was on its way to rendezvous with a freighter captain claiming to have proof of a Romulan plot to mine Federation trade routes.

The mission takes between 30-60 minutes depending on player choice. It is currently in review but can be found with the details below:

Name: Minefield
ID: ST-HGETQAUOO
Creator: RemairTamec
Faction: Federation
Level: 16+

As it is my first project I would greatly appreciate any feedback and suggestions.

Last edited by remairtamec; 03-05-2013 at 10:00 AM.
Lieutenant
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 44
# 2
03-07-2013, 06:13 AM
Based on some initial feedback I've updated the mission to v1.1 to fix a few errors and typos


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Lieutenant
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 44
# 3
04-02-2013, 07:42 AM
Minefield is out of review but still needs more plays to qualify for rewards. If you're interested CatStar put up a review on his website here, giving it 17/20.


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Lieutenant
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 34
# 4
04-04-2013, 05:23 PM
Not bad, I enjoyed it.
Do not be afraid to joust a giant just because some people insist on believing in windmills.

Check out my foundry mission "The Writers of History".
Lieutenant
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 44
# 5
04-15-2013, 03:06 AM
Just to confirm this mission now qualifies for rewards. Thank you everyone who helped get it this far, both for your helpful feedback and generous ratings.


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Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 752
Quote:
Originally Posted by remairtamec View Post
Hi Evil,

Do you give reports missions still only available to reviewers? Or only after they have been approved for general audience? Mine is still in the review stage but if you could give me some feedback on it, either as it is or once it's been approved I would greatly appreciate it. From what I've seen so far your reviews are exactly the kind of feedback I'm looking for to improve this and future projects.

Mission Name: Minefield
Author: remairtamec
Minimum Level: 16+
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HGETQAUOO
Estimated Mission Length: ~45 minutes (depending on choices)

The info is also in a thread on this board available here.

Cheers
Federation Mission - Minefield
Author: remairtamec
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HGETQAUOO

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a good, heavy combat oriented mission with nice map designs, very tough battles, and well written story dialogue. I would definitely recommend this mission to other players, although not on Elite. It was a lot of fun.

I mention the use of the response button "Continue" on every map. This is something I usually recommend the player uses to help tell the story and include the player as more a participant rather than just a reader of the story. This is particularly true when it comes to the "Captain" responding to a BOFF report or dialog from an NPC. An exception to this would be when reading log entry or something along those lines, but even in those circumstances I recommend the use of "..." as an alternative. Yes I know Cryptic missions use the response button "Continue" a lot. In my opinion it seems unlikely that a Captain would simply say "Continue". This is my personal opinion.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: This is a good description. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The grant and follow on dialogue are well written. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue.

Mission Task: Your initial task needs to include the start location for the first custom map. This will make it easier for the player to find your mission. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Imman Nebula (Sierra Outpost System): This is a good map design with tough but fun battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue". I will cover this in more detail in my summary.
-The post "Hail the Trident" dialogue; consider changing "I would hypothosise that they are cloacked mines" to read "I would hypothesize that they are cloaked mines".

Freighter: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-Consider adding respawn points deeper into the map.

Dissanti System Approach: This is a good map design with tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

Mine Factory: This is a good map design with very tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".
-One of the warheads does not disappear when you pick it up. Consider changing it so that warhead disappears when the player picks it up.
-The "Scan Door" stays in place if the player does not use it and blows the door. Consider changing it to disappear if the player uses the "Place Warhead By Door" task.

Dissanti System Exit: This is a good map design with tough battles and well written dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The use of the response button "Continue".

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a good job developing this mission and I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 05/12/2013 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
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