Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,139
# 121
03-13-2013, 10:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ gulberat - yet another amazing piece. This time, I really learned a lot about Alyosha. I mean, in previous entries I took away pieces of what it means to be "him", but this round really painted a very good picture of the character in my mind and that is appreciated.
Thanks! While this was a much younger iteration of him, I think that this piece really shows how he had to fight in order to become the captain you see in the later challenges. These battles shaped him in his later years, and informed his approach to such incidents as when he ended up exposed as a Devidian in front of some of his NCO's.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


Sig by gulberat. Avatar credit to balsavor.deviantart.com
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,392
# 122
03-13-2013, 10:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by superhombre777 View Post
And Americans like to use British spelling to show that they are refined (so maybe that's a compliment?).
As a side note, I'm British, but having grown up watching American TV shows, and reading American novels, I've always used American English when writing (anything)

Last edited by marcusdkane; 03-13-2013 at 10:53 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,392
# 123
03-13-2013, 10:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
@marcusdkane: Agreed, a courtroom LC would be fun to write, especially since I suspect half of our characters are more than capable of getting themselves court-martialled.
Absolutely, or even some kind of official hearing, I definitely think the format has potential to be a nicely challenging write

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Although one I would like to see is an officer exchange program: one of your officers serves on the ship of a foreign power for a while, and vice versa.
That could also be interesting to explore ^_^ In fact, I have had an idea for that very notion present itself to me...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
As to marcusdkane...I will admit, initially I was put off by the idea of an immortal in Starfleet, but Marcus was well-written enough that I think I've changed my mind about him.
I'm glad to hear that you're changing your mind about him ^_^ Bear in mind, that he is not centuries old and lived many secret lives, he's just a guy who happened to become immortal, and actually lived a relatively average Human lifespan -- Just most of it at the same age

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
As you yourself mentioned, there is always the danger of such a character turning into a Gary Stu, but thankfully, Marcus was well-rounded and likeable enough that that didn't happen.
I'm really glad that he can come across as likable and rounded rather than a Gary Stu, as that really was my greatest fear for him... Of course, most of the future LCs will be featuring a different crew... I'm not going down that old trope of resurrecting a dead immortal (although there are always ways... ) That's not to say that the occasional glimpse into a moment of his past might not occur

Last edited by marcusdkane; 03-13-2013 at 05:34 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,392
# 124
03-13-2013, 10:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
IMHO--and this is just me--it also helps that Marcus does die in the end; his powers can't get him through everything.
I agree, he served a purpose, but there came a time where he needed releasing from his torment (which Alyosha correctly perceived an immortal's life to be...) At the end of the day, even immortals aren't... immortal... they're just much more durable than most

Last edited by marcusdkane; 03-13-2013 at 10:51 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,139
# 125
03-13-2013, 11:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
I agree, he served a purpose, but there came a time where he needed releasing from his torment (which Alyosha correctly perceived an immortal's life to be...) At the end of the day, even immortals aren't... immortal... they're just much more durable than most
Alyosha's beliefs color his perspective in that regard. While the Orthodox do not believe in a genetic inheritance of sin as the Western churches do, they do believe that the world was in essence scarred by the consequences of said sin. That makes people inclined to good but living in a world so broken that they are unable to fulfill their potential without help. And theosis--known as sanctification to one Western church that does have a related concept--can be worked on in life but not perfected until the next.

To never see such redemption and to stay in the broken world past the point where sanity can be maintained...or as he might put it in his faith, to never fall asleep in the Lord would be a horrible thought for him. It is especially poignant for him as an individual from a species so far gone, as he would see it, as to have suffered near total spiritual destruction. Hell on Earth, you might say, or Hell on Devidia.

I wonder if Marcus noticed any signs of his reaction.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


Sig by gulberat. Avatar credit to balsavor.deviantart.com
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,392
# 126
03-13-2013, 11:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Alyosha's beliefs color his perspective in that regard. While the Orthodox do not believe in a genetic inheritance of sin as the Western churches do, they do believe that the world was in essence scarred by the consequences of said sin. That makes people inclined to good but living in a world so broken that they are unable to fulfill their potential without help. And theosis--known as sanctification to one Western church that does have a related concept--can be worked on in life but not perfected until the next.

To never see such redemption and to stay in the broken world past the point where sanity can be maintained...or as he might put it in his faith, to never fall asleep in the Lord would be a horrible thought for him. It is especially poignant for him as an individual from a species so far gone, as he would see it, as to have suffered near total spiritual destruction. Hell on Earth, you might say, or Hell on Devidia.

I wonder if Marcus noticed any signs of his reaction.
I can very much understand that perspective, and likewise, that's why I wanted to make Marcus' life as 'challenged' as it was, so that he would always view his immortality as a curse rather than a blessing, and one which he did eventually resolve by become mortal once more. Just one of the universe's ironies that he would die so soon after...

I would think that he would have noticed the reaction from Alyosha, but likely would not have known the depth of his faith at the time, so would not have realized that that was the reason for his reaction
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,309
# 127
03-13-2013, 05:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Although one I would like to see is an officer exchange program: one of your officers serves on the ship of a foreign power for a while, and vice versa.
That was very nearly the theme of my entry this round, under the umbrella of #26, Senior Officers, but I figured it would be wise to hold off until I could properly introduce my captains. I hope I get the opportunity to revisit the concept down the road, after I get my primary dramatis personae established.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,309
# 128
03-13-2013, 05:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Alyosha's beliefs color his perspective in that regard. While the Orthodox do not believe in a genetic inheritance of sin as the Western churches do, they do believe that the world was in essence scarred by the consequences of said sin. That makes people inclined to good but living in a world so broken that they are unable to fulfill their potential without help. And theosis--known as sanctification to one Western church that does have a related concept--can be worked on in life but not perfected until the next.

To never see such redemption and to stay in the broken world past the point where sanity can be maintained...or as he might put it in his faith, to never fall asleep in the Lord would be a horrible thought for him. It is especially poignant for him as an individual from a species so far gone, as he would see it, as to have suffered near total spiritual destruction. Hell on Earth, you might say, or Hell on Devidia.

I wonder if Marcus noticed any signs of his reaction.
I'm not sure about the Orthodox church, but many Western Protestant denominations believe that hell is essentially eternal separation from God. So to live forever and never see heaven would literally be hell on Earth (or Vulcan, or in space, as the case may be.)


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,744
# 129
03-13-2013, 05:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
I'm not sure about the Orthodox church, but many Western Protestant denominations believe that hell is essentially eternal separation from God. So to live forever and never see heaven would literally be hell on Earth (or Vulcan, or in space, as the case may be.)
For some reason, that made me think of this webcomic (which I hadn't thought about in years...).
-------------------------------------------
I'm old enough not to care too much about what you think of me --
But I'm young enough to remember the future, the way things ought to be...

- Rush, "Cut To the Chase", Counterparts
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 146
# 130
03-13-2013, 08:14 PM
@ ironphoenix113 - that was a nice balance between letting go of the old and starting with the new. Small nitpick - the paragraph near the end that starts with "As they stepped out of the fighter," has a few typos.
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:32 AM.