Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,387
# 291
03-31-2013, 04:53 PM
The problem with interviewing Claude Rains, of course, is being able to see him during the entire thing...
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I'm old enough not to care too much about what you think of me --
But I'm young enough to remember the future, the way things ought to be...

- Rush, "Cut To the Chase", Counterparts
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,974
# 292
03-31-2013, 05:07 PM
So the question is, ambassadormollari, does the Federation send Vic Fontaine as its official ambassador to these people? A case is certainly to be made for that.

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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,672
# 293
03-31-2013, 06:50 PM
@superhombre777 -

Very nice entry; great look at being "the new girl" from Lt. Carpenter's perspective.

@gulberat -

Beautifully written as always. The youtube clip you link nicely demonstrated Alyosha's musical range.

@ambassadormolari -

Another terrific piece! I really liked Ens. Saan's quirky predilection for gender-bending historical figures, and the Bogart entity was brilliantly constructed.
"Everybody Chill Out!"

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The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 562
# 294
03-31-2013, 08:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane
@ Ambassadormolari:
Fantastic concept for the time delay to be who the image of Bogart was chosen, but what a fantastic portrayal of him
I'll be honest, my inspiration came from the movie Contact (i haven't read the Carl Sagan novel yet), where the aliens make first contact with the earth by sending back one of Earth's earliest transmissions-- which, awkardly enough, was a televised speech by Adolf Hitler. Otherwise, thank you. I picked Bogart because he's the only actor from the era I could think of who was widely-known enough and had with sufficiently distinctive mannerisms, other than John Wayne. Or Groucho Marx, but that would have been utterly ridiculous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills
The problem with interviewing Claude Rains, of course, is being able to see him during the entire thing...
Heh, true enough.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat
So the question is, ambassadormollari, does the Federation send Vic Fontaine as its official ambassador to these people? A case is certainly to be made for that.
Weirdly enough, I think that would actually work. It makes me wonder where Vic has been this whole time. Probably stuck in the same photonic wing of Memory Alpha with the Doctor, which sounds like the plot of a bad sitcom...

Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233
Another terrific piece! I really liked Ens. Saan's quirky predilection for gender-bending historical figures, and the Bogart entity was brilliantly constructed.
Thanks. It makes me want to do more holodeck bits with Sann, just to see what other weird historical inversions she might try.

Now that I've had the opportunity to read quite a few of these pieces, its my turn to do some commentary:

@cmdrscarlet: I really liked your Ten Forward piece. In particular, I like the unique way in which you managed to say a lot about Kathryn in this story without actually focusing on her. Well done!

@marcusdkane: As everyone has already mentioned, your story hits an emotional low blow, and a pretty powerful one. Otherwise, I think it was very well written, and gives us some much-needed explanation behind Marcus. Interesting that you chose as his origin point the same place where Julian Bashir was genetically engineered. Also, the bit with Rebecca leaving a disastrous experiment on during her wedding cracked me up.

@sander233: I loved your holodeck story! I like the idea of LaRoca using the holodeck as a means of coming to terms with his guilt and making use of a holographic confessor. Juxtaposing everything with a pirate ship and the Caribbean was a very nice touch as well. I am still in the process of reading your other two stories about LaRoca and Ssharki, but I like what I've read from them so far as well (though much from your second LaRoca story is sailing over my head, since I haven't played any of the Dominion missions yet).

Incidentally...

Quote:
Professor Udo Kier, Project I.S.I.S., Daystrom Institute;
I see what you did there.

@gulberat: I will admit, the end bit was more than a little unexpected. It was, however, well written, and you conveyed Alyosha's reaction to the music wonderfully.

@sparklysoldier: Another excellent Azera story! Everything about your story came together really well-- the way you described Azera's reaction to the sensing the Collective in its entirety, your visual description of the Unicomplex, your handling of the Borg Queen, and especially Azera's reactions afterwards, all made the entire story shine.

Last edited by ambassadormolari; 03-31-2013 at 08:53 PM.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 295
03-31-2013, 09:10 PM
And there's my fourth entry. Went for something a little simpler this time. No epic battles, no rousing speeches, just a little bit of self-reflection on Bryan's part. Anyway, lemme know what you guys think!

Oh, and if you can guess what I was referencing, you get a cookie .

EDIT:

Also, the song referenced by Bryan is this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nP5Gbm2XKc.
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Last edited by ironphoenix113; 04-01-2013 at 03:28 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,974
# 296
03-31-2013, 09:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Arrrgh, I just realized that I typed the wrong name, my sincere apologies, that was a written slip of the tongue
Pfft...no big deal.

Quote:
I really liked Teeglar, one rather got the impression of him being ten feet tall, and the kind of Captain whom people automatically follow, so to contrast that to him being the same species as Keenser is an excellent juxtaposition, and would make for another fascinating character
I think once people realize what Teeglar is like--which at first I think people tend to see through the behavior of his senior officers (because prejudice DOES still exist in the 25th century), they see that.

I definitely saw it in my first impression of Teeglar. It even affected Alyosha's body language. When I pictured him walking alongside Teeglar, he's straightened up and even seems to walk in a very "precise," military way. Not a march, but I think you know what I mean. Disciplined.

Quote:
I must admit, as much as I love music, I actually couldn't listen to the entire track, as I found the violin physically uncomfortable (as much as I loved the more atmospheric qualities of the underlying track) so I think that's certainly a good confirmation that many people would find the Devidian language uncomfortable and unsettling to witness...
LOL, I have a very high tolerance for the unusual in music. I put it down to having synesthesia, which probably alters the aesthetic values I judge music by to at least some extent.

Of course Alyosha doesn't actually know the Devidian language...he was only raised with human languages. But if their language is in any way similar to that, yeah, I suspect it would scare some people.

Quote:
I can understand that, it must be an interesting ability to have, so it's easy to see how it could lead to such an interest in music ^_^
I also think part of him, subconsciously, feels that music is how things are "supposed" to be.

But I also admit, I loved the idea of giving a trait like that to the Devidians. The potential that they squandered (most of them)...

Quote:
I know what you mean, I tend to get similar images when writing, ironically, especially when writing Cameron, a lot of who's communication would actually have come through bodylanguage and gesture, rather than vocalization (for the record, Pentaxians have the same kind of vocal range as the diva in the Fifth Element, and I imagine Alyosha would appreciate Pentaxian opera, which features tones both above and below the range of Human hearing)
I'm not sure how far his range extends. But he'll try anything at least once, musically speaking, unless it has offensive lyrics or something.

Quote:
Rebecca was something of a scientific jack of all trades like Spock, with a taste for gizmos and engineering thrown in. She would have read a lot of scientific publications to keep her knowledge base as broad as possible, and probably seen a few updates on SpaceBook of "Adigeon geneticists are manipulating YOUR children!!! Share if you are against this..."...
I think that while Alyosha has some basic idea of biology, the fact that so much of it he simply cannot personally relate to means that he doesn't follow it that closely.

Quote:
I think the Eden was probably there to assess what they were up to, much like the weapons inspectors in Iraq, rather than simply a 'friendly visit' to a Federation research facility... It just seems reasonable conjecture that they were extremely gifted scientists, but with very little of what others would consider moral scruples.
That would make a lot of sense.

Quote:
Yes, I think had MacLeod actually known enough about the subject to anticipate the risks, he would have said something, even if it was just to let Rebecca know the risk, and let her weigh that against losing the child, which to be fair, she would never have done... Rebecca was very much a Warrior Mum who would have done anything for her children's well-being.
I can understand that. I guess I just figured I would've been pissed, if I had been in Rebecca's position and had reason to believe the Adigeons took advantage of my extreme emotional vulnerability in that moment to encourage a medical decision of that magnitude without full information.

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Last edited by gulberat; 04-01-2013 at 12:46 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,974
# 297
03-31-2013, 09:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
@gulberat -

Beautifully written as always. The youtube clip you link nicely demonstrated Alyosha's musical range.
Thanks! I had that looping as I wrote.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormollari
Weirdly enough, I think that would actually work. It makes me wonder where Vic has been this whole time. Probably stuck in the same photonic wing of Memory Alpha with the Doctor, which sounds like the plot of a bad sitcom...
Hmm...sequel potential...

I wonder how Vic has developed since then. If he's broadened beyond his programming further to where he's comparable with the Doctor now...

Quote:
@gulberat: I will admit, the end bit was more than a little unexpected. It was, however, well written, and you conveyed Alyosha's reaction to the music wonderfully.
Glad you liked it! Just curious...in what way was it unexpected?

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Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,777
# 298
04-01-2013, 06:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
I'll be honest, my inspiration came from the movie Contact (i haven't read the Carl Sagan novel yet), where the aliens make first contact with the earth by sending back one of Earth's earliest transmissions-- which, awkardly enough, was a televised speech by Adolf Hitler. Otherwise, thank you. I picked Bogart because he's the only actor from the era I could think of who was widely-known enough and had with sufficiently distinctive mannerisms, other than John Wayne. Or Groucho Marx, but that would have been utterly ridiculous.
Inspiration is inspiration, regardless the source Once I decided to name my STO ship for the plot to kill Hitler, I ironically found one of his quotes, to be the most fitting for the dedication plaque of a literary ship:

"Words build bridges into unexplored regions."

I think your choice of Bogart was perfect, but in terms of juxtaposition to the 25th Century, but also in your very recognizable portrayal of him

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
As everyone has already mentioned, your story hits an emotional low blow, and a pretty powerful one. Otherwise, I think it was very well written, and gives us some much-needed explanation behind Marcus.
I'm sorry you felt it was a low blow, it was only my intention to show just what had emotionally crippled Marcus so severely, that Vulcan mental techniques were the only solution... :-\

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Interesting that you chose as his origin point the same place where Julian Bashir was genetically engineered.
I figured when one needs the best genetic engineering done, there would only be one realistic option, despite significant bad press in science journals... The challenge was in finding a reason why a Starfleet officer would actually need to have a child genetically engineered, for the results to be manifested as personality traits, and the rest just fell into place from there...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Also, the bit with Rebecca leaving a disastrous experiment on during her wedding cracked me up.
Glad to hear it had the desired effect I figure that she figured that she had nineteen usable minutes while the experiment ran, so made the appropriate scheduling to maximize her time, rather than spinning on her lab chair and building a 'house of PADDS' waiting for the results to come through. I figured it also gave a hint of her kind of humor ^_^

Last edited by marcusdkane; 04-01-2013 at 07:30 AM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,777
# 299
04-01-2013, 07:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Pfft...no big deal.
^_^ I just hate making stupid mistakes like that, and then not being able to go back and correct it >_<

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
I think once people realize what Teeglar is like--which at first I think people tend to see through the behavior of his senior officers (because prejudice DOES still exist in the 25th century), they see that.

I definitely saw it in my first impression of Teeglar. It even affected Alyosha's body language. When I pictured him walking alongside Teeglar, he's straightened up and even seems to walk in a very "precise," military way. Not a march, but I think you know what I mean. Disciplined.
Yes, that makes sense, equally, I got the impression of Teeglar having the same kind of inner strength as Master Yoda, which immediately commands respect, regardless of his stature. I really hope that a future LC will allow him to make a guest appearance.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
LOL, I have a very high tolerance for the unusual in music. I put it down to having synesthesia, which probably alters the aesthetic values I judge music by to at least some extent.

Of course Alyosha doesn't actually know the Devidian language...he was only raised with human languages. But if their language is in any way similar to that, yeah, I suspect it would scare some people.
I've always liked stuff like Jean-Michel Jarre, and one time at school, our music teacher was substituted by one of the art teachers, and he said something like "That doesn't sound like music to me," to something being played with a SynthString sound, and I'd never been able to understand what he meant, until listening to that track, so even though it wasn't necessarily to my taste, it certainly taught me something

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
I also think part of him, subconsciously, feels that music is how things are "supposed" to be.

But I also admit, I loved the idea of giving a trait like that to the Devidians. The potential that they squandered (most of them)...
Absolutely so, a bit like the Adigeon's scientific genius, but without a moral compass to actually guide their work...

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
I'm not sure how far his range extends. But he'll try anything at least once, musically speaking, unless it has offensive lyrics or something.
Far from it, it's very classy/highbrow stuff, just not palatable to those with a Human range of hearing, as much of the sequences in the infra and ultrasonic ranges would simply be perceived as extended periods of silence, interspersed with gutt-churning/teeth jangling swooping tones

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
I think that while Alyosha has some basic idea of biology, the fact that so much of it he simply cannot personally relate to means that he doesn't follow it that closely.
That would make sense, if his field of expertise is more focused on the quantum and the temporal

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
That would make a lot of sense.
I think Captain Nasir would have written some scathing reports to Command and the Federation Council as a result of the Eden's visit...

Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
I can understand that. I guess I just figured I would've been pissed, if I had been in Rebecca's position and had reason to believe the Adigeons took advantage of my extreme emotional vulnerability in that moment to encourage a medical decision of that magnitude without full information.
Just to clarify, I was meaning that Rebecca would have undergone the procedure to save the child's life even if the risks had been fully explained. Once Alix's behavioral issues became apparent, she would have known that any return to Adigeon Prime would have been futile, as the Adigeon's attitude would simply have been "We saved your child, don't complain about the job we did doing so, she could be worse off...", and was simply grateful to have a healthy child (although Marcus was always her favorite of the twins). I don't think it would be right to say that the Adigeon's don't care, I think they just have a very different idea about what to care about, and probably view Augment behavioral issues as an outcome so frequent with their procedures, that they may feel that warning people of them would be like saying "This food can be unhealthy," everytime someone buys a Big Mac, so not something to concern themselves with...

Last edited by marcusdkane; 04-01-2013 at 07:37 AM.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 571
# 300
04-01-2013, 08:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklysoldier View Post
@takeshi6: Something gives me the feeling an ambitious emperor in the Mirror Universe named Lelouch could be a very, very bad thing. Very nice dialogue, I like the story's perspective within his thoughts, and a complex political power struggle in the MU could be very fun to read, especially if it spills over into the prime universe and its version of the character.
Thank you. I doubt I'll continue pursuing that train of thought in this challenge, but I might pursue it on my own or even in the Foundry--Demon Emperor Lelouch would be a VERY interesting bad guy.

Mainly trying to decide what his flagship would be--STO Lelouch is going to be in an Aventine-Class Multimission Recon Explorer, but I'm not sure if Demon Emperor Lelouch would have a similar ship or not...

Whatever the case, Demon Emperor Lelouch's Flagship would at least be a Carrier of some kind--just not sure what yet.
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