Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 818

Hungry after raiding convoys all day? Can't be bothered to cook? Have zero sense of morality?
Then look no further!
Come along to Capt. D'ick's

Klingon Fried Tribble!

Fast Food Shack!

Succulent pieces of real, freshly captured Tribble. Battered vigorously, sliced, diced, really battered again and served with a range of delicious sides.

We even have our choose your own section with real live Baby Mugatos. Just pick your Baby Mugato we catch it, skin it live, dip it in batter and flash fry it in one of our state of the art Grethor class plasma ovens. It is then served hot and wriggling in under 5 mins! Guaranteed live throughout preparation to preserve the flavour!

We even give a choice of batters, you can specify a light, moderate or a heavy battering for your Tribble! All batters made to the Capt's secret recipe containing all 2170 secret ingredients!

Every meal comes with a selection of sides including: Fried Eppoh tails, & Ferengi Snail Mayo, Pakleds sauces and of course all 1567 types of Gagh!
All to take away!

Or You can dine in one of our 50, non-smoking restaurants in Ferengi, Klingon & Neutral systems. Our plush dining lounges have fun and entertainments for all the family all fully shielded and cloaked against reprisal attacks.
New: We now deliver straight to your airlock with our new delivery service! Our new fleet of fully buffed Bird of Prey delivery ships will ensure a swift service anywhere in the Alpha or Beta Quadrants!

Order a Tribble Bucket and get a K'evin the Klowning Klingon toy with your meal. Absolutely free!

The Federation Council consider KFT to be a contraband item punishable with a 1,000,000 latinum fine and life imprisonment.
The Romulans consider the usage of Eppohs as consumable food as a enviromental war crime, punishable by death. We claim no responsibility for injury, death, torture or imprisonment while enjoying our meal.
K'evin the Klowning Klingon toy may contain small parts that will break off and is a definite choking hazard. The paint will rub off and cause blood poisoning.
Hygene not guaranteed.
KFB claim no responsibility if the meal begins to squirm and tries to escape, just ask the assistant for another meal and request a heavy battering.
All Tribbles, Mugatos and Eppohs are kept in humane conditions under Ferengi import regulations 1766547#2887.6 until the time to kill them. KFT claims no responsibility for any distress caused due to the sound of agonized screaming coming from the kitchens.
Monkey see, Monkey do. Monkey flings Feathered Monkey poo...

Last edited by rustiswordz; 03-12-2013 at 06:23 PM.
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,333
# 2
03-12-2013, 07:03 PM
I would think that attempts by the meal to escape would be considered a plus for the discriminating Klingon or Gorn diner...
I'm old enough not to care too much about what you think of me --
But I'm young enough to remember the future, the way things ought to be...

- Rush, "Cut To the Chase", Counterparts
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,694
# 3
03-12-2013, 08:05 PM
This really brightened up my day! Laughed my disruptor off!!!
You will learn that Delta Rising is the best expansion ever.YOU WILL LOVE IT.
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 586
# 4
03-12-2013, 08:09 PM
So how do we know they are actually tribbles and not something the Feresians cough up while doing regular maintanence on their fur?
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 818
# 5
03-12-2013, 08:15 PM
All adds to the flavour! Qaplah!
Monkey see, Monkey do. Monkey flings Feathered Monkey poo...
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,694
# 6
03-12-2013, 08:16 PM
Hairballs don't. Scream when you put them in the fryolator.(sorry typing on my android at work:.makes my entries messy)
You will learn that Delta Rising is the best expansion ever.YOU WILL LOVE IT.

Last edited by cptjhunter; 03-12-2013 at 08:18 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,631
# 7
03-12-2013, 11:41 PM
Two targ-bacon tribbleburgers, a variety pack of Kethan gagh, and a large bloodwine slushie, please.

To go.

Do you take SlaveMasterCard?

"The Snowmenz Are Coming! The Snowmenz Are Coming!!"

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Career Officer
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 929
# 8
03-13-2013, 06:31 AM
Is there an extra charge to do all the food preparation in front of me so I can savor the suffering?

Porthos is not amused.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,586
# 9
03-13-2013, 07:19 AM
Do the meals come complete with the fur? General Chang has been looking for a decent wig for a while now...
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,946
# 10
03-13-2013, 11:09 AM
Oh man, this made me laugh SO hard when I read it on my lunch break at work yesterday!!! Good one!

I have to ask about the Pakled sauces, though...this isn't brought to you by the same people who created Soylent Green, is it?

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