Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,304
# 161
04-16-2013, 01:56 PM
@ knighraider6: That was an awesome entry ^_^ Comedy, action, spot on

@ edinator96: Fantastic entry, welecome to the LCs

@ gulberat: That was an excellent entry, and a sobering reminder that the good guys don't always win... :-\
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,219
# 162
04-16-2013, 02:25 PM
@gulberat - Beautifully written as always. Kapitan Strannik's anguish at the loss of the Indomitable and his own crew was so palpable.

I also really enjoyed your battle scene. It's great to see a Starfleet officer using science to defeat the enemy (rather than just unleashing massive firepower as Admiral LaRoca tends to do. One of these days I'll have to see how he'd respond when completely outmatched by superior forces in a battle he can't escape.)

Thank you also for taking the opportunity to explore the character N'Vek, and showing how he reacts when confronting fellow Romulans. I sense his strong bond with Alexei Ivanovich will be a recurring theme in future LCs.


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 178
Former PWE Community Team Lead
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 9,046
# 164
04-16-2013, 03:19 PM
Another round of great discussion. Thanks to everyone in this thread who provided feedback to your fellow writers!

I am going to unstick this as I prepare to post the 42nd challenge, but please feel free to continue discussing.

Cheers,

Brandon =/\=
Brandon "BranFlakes" Felczer | Former Community Team Lead for Perfect World Entertainment
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,219
# 165
04-16-2013, 03:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zidanetribal View Post
Getting a story in before the deadline!
Very nice! I love the way you pulled in so many different elements from the game and TNG into your story. I also really liked "Robby the Robot"

Sad day for Admiral Lee and the crew of the Lord English but as several other officers have recently discovered, you can't win 'em all.


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,105
# 166
04-16-2013, 05:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
@ gulberat: That was an excellent entry, and a sobering reminder that the good guys don't always win... :-\
Thanks. Even as the author it's hard for me to tell if it was a worse crisis averted, or a horrible tragedy caused by everyone's failings, Alyosha's included.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
@gulberat - Beautifully written as always. Kapitan Strannik's anguish at the loss of the Indomitable and his own crew was so palpable.

I also really enjoyed your battle scene. It's great to see a Starfleet officer using science to defeat the enemy (rather than just unleashing massive firepower as Admiral LaRoca tends to do. One of these days I'll have to see how he'd respond when completely outmatched by superior forces in a battle he can't escape.)
Could be interesting given his seeming overconfidence...

As far as Alyosha using science...he's a science officer by training but was assigned to command an escort. This sometimes leads to confusion by the enemy, as they don't expect a science ship's tactics on an escort.

Glad you liked it.

Quote:
Thank you also for taking the opportunity to explore the character N'Vek, and showing how he reacts when confronting fellow Romulans. I sense his strong bond with Alexei Ivanovich will be a recurring theme in future LCs.
I can't remember if you are one of the ones who read "The Truth in the Illusion," but it definitely put those two in an interesting position towards each other. I suspect I will be exploring that too at some point, as well.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


Sig by gulberat. Avatar credit to balsavor.deviantart.com
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,219
# 167
04-16-2013, 05:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Could be interesting given his seeming overconfidence...
LaRoca is definitely overconfident and more than a little self-deluded. Even I can't tell if he's a pirate who thinks he's a diplomat or a diplomat who thinks he's a pirate. Trouble is, he's always been able to blast his way out of trouble, often in spite of overwhelming odds, so his confidence feels justified and his delusions are unchallenged. I'll have to do something about that...

Quote:
I can't remember if you are one of the ones who read "The Truth in the Illusion," but it definitely put those two in an interesting position towards each other. I suspect I will be exploring that too at some point, as well.
That was actually my introduction to Alyosha. From there I went back and read your past LCs. I continue to be utterly fascinated by the way you craft his emotions and your skillful use of his Devidian physiology as an ongoing plot device.


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,304
# 168
04-16-2013, 06:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Thanks. Even as the author it's hard for me to tell if it was a worse crisis averted, or a horrible tragedy caused by everyone's failings, Alyosha's included.
A pleasure, as always From my perspective as a reader, personally, I would have said the former... Despite the Romulan presence, it was definitely Captain Sengupta's haste which ultimately caused the loss of the Indomitable. The crew of the Chin'toka may have been unable to prevent the tragedy, but they at least did the best they could to try to prevent it, so I would not have said failings on their parts at all...
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,105
# 169
04-17-2013, 12:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
LaRoca is definitely overconfident and more than a little self-deluded. Even I can't tell if he's a pirate who thinks he's a diplomat or a diplomat who thinks he's a pirate. Trouble is, he's always been able to blast his way out of trouble, often in spite of overwhelming odds, so his confidence feels justified and his delusions are unchallenged. I'll have to do something about that...
Could be interesting. Such individuals can be surprisingly fragile when put under real pressure...

Quote:
That was actually my introduction to Alyosha. From there I went back and read your past LCs. I continue to be utterly fascinated by the way you craft his emotions and your skillful use of his Devidian physiology as an ongoing plot device.
Thanks. I just hope I manage not to turn his physiology into a sort of "Seven's nanoprobes" thing that solves every problem. It's there--and occasionally it does help because it's different--but mainly it's just a fact of life for him. Not something to make a show of, on oh so many levels.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
A pleasure, as always From my perspective as a reader, personally, I would have said the former... Despite the Romulan presence, it was definitely Captain Sengupta's haste which ultimately caused the loss of the Indomitable. The crew of the Chin'toka may have been unable to prevent the tragedy, but they at least did the best they could to try to prevent it, so I would not have said failings on their parts at all...
Sengupta's haste was certainly a part of it, though I don't think he was a bad guy. It just didn't occur to him that something like this could possibly exist. Alyosha is definitely going to feel a lot of guilt, though, over making the assumption Sengupta was cleared for the information on the interdictor when he was not, and therefore failing to say something in time.

I'm not sure whether I am just experiencing his guilt, or whether--objectively--that's actually correct.
Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)


Sig by gulberat. Avatar credit to balsavor.deviantart.com
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,219
# 170
04-17-2013, 01:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
Could be interesting. Such individuals can be surprisingly fragile when put under real pressure...
Yeah, I don't think I want to break him yet though. I'm rather enjoying him as an arrogant SoB.


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:10 AM.