Ensign
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4
# 1 My first Foundry mission
04-11-2013, 06:04 PM
I've created my first mission and I need people to play and rate. It's a Federation mission, ID number ST-HMXDKMB2C. I need the plays for it to qualify for rewards. please help!! It's called "Taking a Vacaction" Thank You
Lieutenant
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 34
# 2
04-14-2013, 04:24 PM
If you read mission postings from others in this forum you'll find there is common format:

Name:
ID:
Author:
Faction:
Level:
Duration:

while I admit it's not 100% necessary it does help people (like myself) when browsing through the forums looking for missions to test help decide if we really want to. Also, I would recommend fixing the word "vacation" in your post. Now after playing your mission here is my critique:

1. spelling and grammar, so many problems I'm not going to list them all but it really needs to be cleaned up.

2. no real story, this is my biggest complaint about the mission and is a big reason I only gave it three stars. If you don't have an interesting story that engages people then you just have a grinder (and I hate grinders). Your story basically boils down to the borg and the undine are teaming up to invade risa for some reason and it's up to the player to go beat them up. There is some potential here to your premise but you don't use it, why are the undine and the borg teaming up together? Why are they attacking risa? The way it sits it's basically, here's a group of borg, fight them. Here's another group of borg, fight them. Here's some undine, fight them. That's really boring.

3. learn to use triggers. I saw no real use of triggers except maybe to bring in more enemies. I found james of borg on the surface of risa while fighting and couldn't figure out why he was there until eventually you had me talk to him (after the fights). Also the chief on the renault was just calmly typing away on a console forever regardless of what was happening until after defeating enough borg he/she (can't remember which) told me to raise the shield and then fight the boss. If the chief is doing something so important that they need to ignore the fighting then at least have them greet the player as they enter the map (he/she is right next to the spawn point) and say something about how they need to work on the shields or something while the player goes to clear out the borg.

Overall I didn't like the mission very much and wouldn't recommend it as it currently stands. However while I didn't think it was particularly good, it wasn't particularly bad either (which is why I gave it 3 stars). Although it wasn't much of one, you at least *have* a story that I could understand what was going on. The combat was pretty challenging, and your maps had no serious glitches or errors in it. I understand this is your first mission so I would recommend continuing to work on it. Read some of the online tutorials about how to use triggers, experiment around with them. Most importantly though develop more of a narrative then "there's some bad guys go fight them". If you don't want to have a story and just want to fight a bunch of guys for items then be honest in your description and just call it a grinder like all the other grinders out there.
Do not be afraid to joust a giant just because some people insist on believing in windmills.

Check out my foundry mission "The Writers of History".
Ensign
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4
# 3 Will Work some more
04-14-2013, 06:54 PM
First off, I want to thank those who helped me test this mission, and actually GAVE me feedback i could use.

That said, because of the feedback and for other matters, I will be taking this mission down until it gets better and is once again is ready to play. thank you.
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