Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 622
# 91
08-03-2013, 04:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by knightraider6 View Post
Which was kind of my idea with my LC47 entry, with someone poking a stick in a beehive full of Fek somewhere.
Speaking of LCs, I have a new one up for LC 40.

It covers one of my other Alts, a 'local' version of a character named Nanoha Takamachi.

Please take a look and let me know what you think.
Originally KiraYamato before the Account Linking - True Join Date August 2008

"Close Air Support covereth a multitude of sins." - Maxim 4, The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,332
# 92
08-03-2013, 04:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
I threw that in just for you. ;-)
If it wasn't a localy produced issue with a dial to accommodate the Moab day, I see it as being a model 1016 Explorer ^_^


Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
I asked Patrick for a brief on what was going on down in engineering and wrote that scene mostly to keep the Action, well, out of action while the Tib got clobbered. I'm glad I was able to make Brogh impress you. Hopefully he'll continue to impress Uminoe as well, otherwise... :kiss: :throttle: :airlock: :eek
I know assassination/mutiny are typical ways of 'getting promoted' in Klingon culture, but to do it in the middle of a battle with a known murderess sitting in the command chair... that takes some big cojones If he were Human, Brogh's name would be Dr Hannibal Morgan

Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
Done.
That reads much smoothly ^_^



Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
And Jesu... well, for him it goes beyond the whole cliche of "married to the job" - I think he's actually pathologically incapable of making a lasting relationship. (His bond with his brother being the exception of course, but he doesn't have to do anything to maintain that relationship. Rusty will always love him unconditionally.) Losing his mother at a very young age would have something to do with that issue. I'm not a psychologist, so this is all just speculation, but I think he would've forgotten about Liz pretty quickly if she'd lived. Of course, now that she died to save him (and with those haunting last words) he's got a whole new set of issues to deal with...
That was very much the case with Marcus, and his relationships were all either with women who were emotionally bonded to him, in one way or another (Siri and Cameron by biological imprinting, Alix through GSA) other than them, one-nighters with cougars like Doctor Crusher and Admiral Nechayev was always more his style Amanda's lifestyle is more one of intentional choice to not allow herself to get involved with fellow officers, or anyone else who could compromise her, following her previously hinted at mission to the MU as a newly-promoted lieutenant...

Last edited by marcusdkane; 08-03-2013 at 05:17 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,158
# 93
08-03-2013, 05:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by takeshi6 View Post
Speaking of LCs, I have a new one up for LC 40.

It covers one of my other Alts, a 'local' version of a character named Nanoha Takamachi.

Please take a look and let me know what you think.
Good start.
"when you're out of Birds of Prey, you're out of ships."

A Festival of Blood and Fire!

Blaming PvP for nerfs is like blaming Eudromaeosauria for today's urban crime rates.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,158
# 94
08-03-2013, 05:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
If it wasn't a localy produced issue with a dial to accommodate the Moab day, I see it as being a model 1016 Explorer ^_^
The watch was her father's.


Quote:
I know assassination/mutiny are typical ways of 'getting promoted' in Klingon culture, but to do it in the middle of a battle with a known murderess sitting in the command chair... that takes some big cojones If he were Human, Brogh's name would be Dr Hannibal Morgan
The greater danger is that Uminoe's a bit of a 'black widow'-that is, she mates, then kills at the moment of greatest pleasure for her partner. Thanks in part to the Symbiont and in part to Ssharki's discipline, she doesn't get to 'indulge' very often, but she would with a handsome, ambitious, but incompetent threat to her command-because that's pretty much the only way she can avoid an actual execution barring the capture of a nasty pirate or somesuch.



Quote:
That was very much the case with Marcus, and his relationships were all either with women who were emotionally bonded to him, in one way or another (Siri and Cameron by biological imprinting, Alix through GSA) other than them, one-nighters with cougars like Doctor Crusher and Admiral Nechayev was always more his style Amanda's lifestyle is more one of intentional choice to not allow herself to get involved with fellow officers, or anyone else who could compromise her, following her previously hinted at mission to the MU as a newly-promoted lieutenant...
"when you're out of Birds of Prey, you're out of ships."

A Festival of Blood and Fire!

Blaming PvP for nerfs is like blaming Eudromaeosauria for today's urban crime rates.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 622
# 95
08-03-2013, 05:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickngo View Post
Good start.
Thanks.

Wasn't planning on adding any more to that entry--Mainly did it to introduce Nanoha, provide a brief glimpse at her crew (and fully introduce her wife, Fate), and provide a glimpse at how her unique style of training works.

Might see about getting her into some of the other LCs, and if anyone wants to have her show up in any of their stories, just let me know.
Originally KiraYamato before the Account Linking - True Join Date August 2008

"Close Air Support covereth a multitude of sins." - Maxim 4, The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,332
# 96
08-03-2013, 06:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickngo View Post
The watch was her father's.
Ahh, even better Locally produced, or Old-Earth antique? (I'm something of a watch-nut )

Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickngo View Post
The greater danger is that Uminoe's a bit of a 'black widow'-that is, she mates, then kills at the moment of greatest pleasure for her partner. Thanks in part to the Symbiont and in part to Ssharki's discipline, she doesn't get to 'indulge' very often, but she would with a handsome, ambitious, but incompetent threat to her command-because that's pretty much the only way she can avoid an actual execution barring the capture of a nasty pirate or somesuch.
That was the thing I always liked about Joran Belar: He was a murdering psycho way before he was joined to Dax
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,924
# 97
08-03-2013, 09:01 PM
My LC 47 entry is up.

It deals with a bit of the aftermath of what's going on here, provides an update on the medical condition of a few major characters, and provides a few glimpses into parts of the battle that didn't make it into the last few chapters.
Captain
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 675
# 98
08-05-2013, 09:45 PM
Wow. That finale was intense. I knew that the Fed/Klingons were going to have a rough battle from the start of it all, but I still didn't expect some of the heavier blows in that last thread (re: the Tiburon getting smashed, the death of Liz Tran, and all of the uncertainty surrounding Rusty's condition). The entire end battle felt suitably apocalyptic, and the entire space battle was excellently written-- I could really feel the desperation of the Federation/Klingon forces in the final moments of the whole battle, and you did a great job of ramping up the tension, particularly whenever the good guys suffered losses.

The whole bit with the possessed Eighty-Six, incidentally, reminded me a lot of HAL in 2001 and the whole effort to shut him down. Although I find your way of "curing" her in the end rather interesting all the same.

All in all, bravo, Sander. This entire story turned out to be just as epic as you promised. I can't wait to see how you and patrickngo deal with the aftermath-- ie, what's going to happen to Jesu and Rusty, what this will mean to House Tran in the long run, and whether or not this is only the beginning of Starfleet's troubles with the Fek'Ihri. Well done!

Last edited by ambassadormolari; 08-05-2013 at 09:48 PM.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,924
# 99
08-05-2013, 11:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Wow. That finale was intense. I knew that the Fed/Klingons were going to have a rough battle from the start of it all, but I still didn't expect some of the heavier blows in that last thread (re: the Tiburon getting smashed, the death of Liz Tran, and all of the uncertainty surrounding Rusty's condition). The entire end battle felt suitably apocalyptic, and the entire space battle was excellently written-- I could really feel the desperation of the Federation/Klingon forces in the final moments of the whole battle, and you did a great job of ramping up the tension, particularly whenever the good guys suffered losses.
Good. I tried to throw in a few moments of levity in there to break up the tension so it didn't get too overwhelming (Barrister floating by the Hammerhead smiling and waving, and Hamlet's performance - I have to admit, I LOL'd writing that bit) but I'm glad I didn't go too far with that. I wanted to put the reader on the edge of their seat without pushing them over the edge.

Quote:
The whole bit with the possessed Eighty-Six, incidentally, reminded me a lot of HAL in 2001 and the whole effort to shut him down. Although I find your way of "curing" her in the end rather interesting all the same.
I'll let Patrick confirm, but I'm sure that was in the back of his head when he wrote the scene with Grimes/Gamma installing the chip. I took it a little further by having her sing "Behind Blue Eyes" instead of "Daisy, Daisy"

Quote:
All in all, bravo, Sander. This entire story turned out to be just as epic as you promised. I can't wait to see how you and patrickngo deal with the aftermath-- ie, what's going to happen to Jesu and Rusty, what this will mean to House Tran in the long run, and whether or not this is only the beginning of Starfleet's troubles with the Fek'Ihri. Well done!
We're not quite done here yet. One more chapter and an epilogue. And that's it. I think. But Patrick's well underway with "what's next" in The Chase.
Captain
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 575
# 100
08-08-2013, 06:58 AM
Hi Sander, nice attention to detail you have through the series, with emotionally developed characters that get the reader involved. Riveting finale too. Pretty expansive storyline and I like that epic style. You could have a book here if you keep this up. I'm not biased as a fellow leader either, as a writer myself, I can tell when someone puts their mind behind their creative fingers. Didn't say anything sooner as I didn't want to influence your story (I have a series of my own I been holding on to which I'll release when the time's right, as previewed in The XTERN1TY Files). In my opinion, you did great. Cool work!

PS- We're late for our August meeting and going to have a fleet meeting sometime this week. Drop me a mail when you're on with the day/time you're available. Thanks!

Last edited by xtern1ty; 08-08-2013 at 07:05 AM.
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