Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,122
Okay, I don't have a plot yet, just a few ideas and finished parts. I was wondering what my fellow Trekkies (as Roddenberry called us) think.

The story takes place on Terak Nor, shortly after it is retaken and Damar is promoted to Gul. There wasn't a lot of back story on his time there, so I figured I'd add something in.

My main characters are:
A Human Female (yet to be named)
Damar
A Glinn
Dukat (to a lesser extent)
An antagonist I haven't created/developed yet. Probably Maquis.


It starts on a Maquis Raider. My character, a female human, was recruited. They are with a group of raiders fighting a Galor. Throughout the battle, my character demonstrates a superior knowledge of Cardassian tactics (which is why her post is at the tactical console). She, quite literally, thinks like one of them. Eventually, the galor is near destruction and the Maquis beams the survivors (4 of them) aboard. Since there aren't any holding cells on board Raiders, they use a small cargo bay secured just for their prisoners. She has a conversation with her superriors about how useless the fighting has become, and what a waste of cardassian life it is. She implies she sympathizes with them, but never comes out and says it.

Later, she spends time alone considering her position. She wasn't born on a colony in the DMZ. She wasn't In Starfleet, and she got sweapt up in the prospect of liberating so many people from their opressors. She thought she could be of service, but her service has gone nowhere. Eventually she goes to the cargo hold and talks to the prisoners. She starts with a guise of interrogation, but evolves into a real conversation (much like the one Lore had with Data in Decent, but without the mind control). Without warning she releases them and they take the escape pods (think about when Damar released Worf and Ezri -- with some of the same motivations).

Her superriors find out and expel her from the Maquis. They consider having her excecuted, but they decide against it. As punishment, they take her to Terak Nor. They eventually find a ferengi merchant ship and leave her with them.

The ferengi is on his way to Terak Nor. [I haven't worked out the negotiation yet, nor have I decided on the reason for the visit.] Once on board, this human female realizes she has nowhere to go -- she defected from the federation and the Maquis expelled her. So she goes to the bar (Quark's, of course) and orders a few drinks.

She doesn't realize it, but one of the Cardassians she released is at a table with Gul Damar and 2 other Glinns. The Glinn who recognized her points her out to Damar. Damar goes into paranoid/curious Cardassian mode and decides to take advantage of her drinking to get some information. In his arrogance, he assumes she likes Kanar and orders her one. She asks who bought it and asks Damar why. He says he just wants to introduce himself. [I haven't worked out the whole conversation yet] At one point, the Glinn notices that she hasn't touched her Kanar. He implies that she is a weak human female, and she takes offence and throws it (much like Damar would). She immediately orders another one and the Glinn asks why. Her response is that she never said she was finished. Damar is impressed by her opportunistic attitude (and a bit drunk himself). At this point, he isn't "interested," persay, but he sees her in a much more favorable light. He is married and he hasn't used comfort women at this point, so I'm leaning away from romance. It would be interesting if my female uses sex as a ploy to convince him to let her defect. I haven't decided yet.


That's about all I have so far. Eventually she will officially defect and Dukat will approve it. And the Maquis will hire someone to try to kill her. Basically I've been trying to create a character equal to Damar so I can fill in some of the blanks with him. I'm not sure if I want her to die at the end yet. Deoends how the story develops. Of course, there will be conflict in the whole mutual distrust thing. Are humans worthy of Cardassian citizenship? I'll get t that stuff later.

Opinions? Keeping in mind this is a FAN FIC, not intended to be Apocryphal. And I'm still developing the story, this is just the opening (maybe the first 2 or 3 chapters).
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,489
# 2
05-12-2013, 09:53 AM
I like the premise, but the Human female character definitely needs some fleshing out, as thus far, she's a bit too Mary Sue for comfort... Not born on a DMZ colony, not Starfleet, yet somehow skilled enough to not only be recruited by the Maquis, but also have superior knowledge of Cardassian tactics... Those're details which definitely need smoothing out to make more sense, IMHO, but she should be recoverable My initial feeling, is that she's an agent of the Obsidian Order who has been surgically altered to appear Human as a deep-cover agent like Seska. If she is Human, there's going to need to be a reason why she would be getting involved, and why the Maquis would have her in their ranks... Also, bear in mind that the Maquis is just a loose collection of resistance fighters, not an organized militia
Ensign
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 7
# 3
05-12-2013, 01:45 PM
oh so bear mind by the time the Dominion take deep Space nine the Marquis had been wiped out by then
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