Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,455
# 121
06-23-2013, 05:07 PM
@aeten66 - fantastic! I'm sure Lewis Carroll would be proud.

@ambassadormoari -
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickngo View Post
I like this so far. Very tense...More...want more....
What he said, x10. I'm loving the tie-in to patrickngo's and my work.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 239
# 122
06-23-2013, 09:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ aten66 - Very interesting idea! if I had a suggestion it would be to explain Gregs' motivation to allow a crewed shuttle to go into the wormhole. At first he said it was too risky, then in one sentence he allowed the shuttle visit without justification other than taking "Z's request into consideration. Z's reasoning seems unwarranted related to the risk. I dunno, Gregs' sudden reversal really caught me by surprise so maybe I'm seeing things differently. Other than that I think your idea was very "trekkie"
He trust's Z's instincts to check out the wormhole!

Best way to follow through is how all captains have figured things out, send in their first officer! Then when things go bad, bring the captain in to fix his/her problems they created!

Edit: Plus, he was just messing with her head.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,086
# 123
06-24-2013, 06:35 AM
I think i really strayed from the main suggestion as putting it in seemed like more of an afterthought. Please let me know what you think.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,579
# 124
06-24-2013, 07:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wraithshadow13 View Post
I think i really strayed from the main suggestion as putting it in seemed like more of an afterthought. Please let me know what you think.
Excellent entry I felt the 'group hug' at the end was a bit overly sentimental, given Wraith and Donovan had not really witnessed anything which T'Pal had been put through. Other than that, nice work

Last edited by marcusdkane; 06-24-2013 at 01:01 PM. Reason: spelling...
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,881
# 125
06-24-2013, 10:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aten66 View Post
He trust's Z's instincts to check out the wormhole!

Best way to follow through is how all captains have figured things out, send in their first officer! Then when things go bad, bring the captain in to fix his/her problems they created!

Edit: Plus, he was just messing with her head.
Well ... yeah I guess I was looking for the explanation. Otherwise, it "just happened". I get it though.

@ ambassadormolari ... I am chomping at the bit to read the rest!
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene

Last edited by cmdrscarlet; 06-24-2013 at 03:09 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 521
# 126
06-24-2013, 07:39 PM
Okay, I've just posted the second half of my story. Note that there were a few name changes here and there-- the Klingon First Officer, just because there were two many crewmembers with names beginning with "R" (odd reason, I know), and the Orion helmswoman because I realized that there is already a character in LoR named Satra.


As for some of the other stories:


wraithshadow: Loved it! Probably one of the best "main character vs evil mirror counterpart" stories I've read thus far, especially since you did a lot to establish just how bad a guy Mirror Donovan was. He had an especially interesting villainous motivation, ie surrogate suicide. The space battle was also very well done, especially since you didn't make this an easy battle at all for the Geist and crew.

ironphoenix: A nice bit of fleet action there! Unlike wraithshadow's story, I actually found it rather refreshing that the Mirror crew member in this story wasn't evil. It reminded me a bit of one of my own stories, where again a Mirror Universe refugee came seeking help, but you actually had Starfleet going out and delivering that help. The end result was pretty awesome, and I like the way Valot managed to manouver the tricky legal grounds of the Prime Directive to do so. Overall, well done!

marcusdkane: A nice short piece, and as others have pointed out, I liked the nod to canon by referencing the Barzan Wormhole.

patrickngo: As usual, an awesome story. I really liked the glimpse into the Ferasan culture and mindset that you gave, especially with regards to K'tirr's fighting style-- how he uses the psychological effect of a giant predator cat pouncing and mauling things to his advantage. Overall, really awesome introductory story to K'tirr, and as usual, I liked your exploration of an otherwise little-known species.

jonsills: Huzzah, more adventures from the unluckiest crew in Starfleet! I can't help but wonder, though, at what sort of derogatory nickname the Hephaestus will acquire, given Grunt's unfortunate history with ship names.

superhombre: Nicely done, and as always, its nice to see things from ch'Raul's perspective (and come to think of it, I'm intrigued at how deeply flawed so many of your crew seem to be.) The way you wrote T'Panna's emotional instability was particularly interesting-- it reminded me in more ways than one of poor Sarek. I'm very interested to see where you go with this arc in future
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,044
# 127
06-24-2013, 08:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
jonsills: Huzzah, more adventures from the unluckiest crew in Starfleet! I can't help but wonder, though, at what sort of derogatory nickname the Hephaestus will acquire, given Grunt's unfortunate history with ship names.
Truth be told, I've always thought of them as one of the luckiest crews in Starfleet - weird stuff happens to everybody out there, but somehow Grunt always manages to get his people out of it mostly intact. (Even the destruction of the Hypatia killed less than three percent of her crew.) And the Bastogne survived transit through a randomly-appearing wormhole that's destroyed a large number of other ships - well, for certain values of "survived"...

As for a nickname for the Hephaestus, given her appearance on returning to Federation space, I was thinking the shipwrights at DS9 might have started calling her the Herpes. (Oh, and for those really concerned for poor Grunt, when he hit Captain he got a brand-new ship, still with that fresh-warp-coolant smell, the exploration cruiser Bedford.)
-------------------------------------------
I'm old enough not to care too much about what you think of me --
But I'm young enough to remember the future, the way things ought to be...

- Rush, "Cut To the Chase", Counterparts
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 554
# 128
06-24-2013, 08:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
Truth be told, I've always thought of them as one of the luckiest crews in Starfleet - weird stuff happens to everybody out there, but somehow Grunt always manages to get his people out of it mostly intact. (Even the destruction of the Hypatia killed less than three percent of her crew.) And the Bastogne survived transit through a randomly-appearing wormhole that's destroyed a large number of other ships - well, for certain values of "survived"...
Heh. You have a point, there...

Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
As for a nickname for the Hephaestus, given her appearance on returning to Federation space, I was thinking the shipwrights at DS9 might have started calling her the Herpes.
ROFLMAO!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
(Oh, and for those really concerned for poor Grunt, when he hit Captain he got a brand-new ship, still with that fresh-warp-coolant smell, the exploration cruiser Bedford.)
Good to hear it.

I think the thread for Lit Challenge 40 [Redux] is still open, even if it isn't the main challenge of the moment, and I think I'd like to see a post detailing Grunt first stepping aboard the Bedford, and realizing that after three different patchwork ships, things are finally looking up... and I'm also curious as to what ship he's going to be in once you max him out in-game.
Originally KiraYamato before the Account Linking - True Join Date August 2008

"In the game of war, there are no clear rules you can follow." - Andrew Waltfeld
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,086
# 130
06-25-2013, 02:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Excellent entry I felt the 'group hug' at the end was a bit overly sentimental, given Wraith and Donovan had not really witnessed anything which T'Pal had been put through. Other than that, nice work
well the captain himself had been through a similar experience in the last mirror event, as for Wraith, i wanted to go into a little more detail but simply forgot because i usually do these late at night.


Still though it seems each time i write i'll try writing a little bit more just to see how much i can fit into a single post
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