Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,671
# 31
06-13-2013, 06:54 AM
Thank you for feedback gang! Today is catch-up reading day for me so I will post thoughts on other entries later

Here is my cast list for this episode:

Kathryn Beringer - Rachel Nichols
Anthi Ythysi - Katheryn Winnek
Karl Melango - Jeremy Renner
Thel Ythysi - Kevin Sorbo
Morgan Kell - Ben Browder
Omazei - Malin Ackerman
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Ensign
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 28
# 32
06-13-2013, 09:54 AM
I like Kevin Sorbo!
He was awesome in the Hercules series!
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,671
# 33
06-13-2013, 11:58 AM
I *loved* that series! I didn't care too much for Andromeda but I still respected him for doing it. Needless to say, when STO "gave" me Thel, Kevin was the first actor I could imagine.

Review time!
@morkintash - The colors were a little distracting at first, but I got used to it. If you look at LC 1 and some afterward, it seems the community used different colors as a practice. I've considered using colors for specific responses as an alternative to using italics, bold and underlines. Regardless, I'm a fan of Keruko now and I demand you bring him back The dire situation was well represented and I was involved throughout the piece.

@gorvar1 - I'm really appreciating your take on the Gorn and I'm considering playing one in-game. I'm looking forward to what Doutra does with her discovery!

@danqueller - Very nice take on the this particular enemy. Ever read the book "Vendetta"? It's relatively old but it's worth a read because it's this enemy looking for payback against Kirk. Anyways, like the others above I could not stop reading this entry. Well done, sir!

More later
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene

Last edited by cmdrscarlet; 06-13-2013 at 12:14 PM.
Ensign
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 28
# 34
06-13-2013, 02:02 PM
Being a Gorn is AWESOME!
...
You get to bite people!
Ensign
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 12
# 35
06-13-2013, 02:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
Regardless, I'm a fan of Keruko now and I demand you bring him back The dire situation was well represented and I was involved throughout the piece.
Thanks.
Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 419
# 36
06-13-2013, 04:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post

@danqueller - Very nice take on the this particular enemy. Ever read the book "Vendetta"? It's relatively old but it's worth a read because it's this enemy looking for payback against Kirk.
Yup, I have. I have some disagreements with the ending (the nature of the Killer would never allow the Borg to adapt to it), but we have to allow that the author was under restrictions as to what could be 'left behind' at the end of the story. The idea that the Doomsday Machines were built to destroy the Borg makes perfect sense (although it might be that the reverse was true from an editorial perspective, given when each was introduced into ST), especially when you see how the Planet Killers hit all of the Borg's weak spots so perfectly. And yes, that is why the Planet Killer in my entry immediately destroyed the Borg Cube on contact...it was fulfilling it's primary function.

Glad you enjoyed it!


Now, since I've finally gotten a chance to read the other entries, I'll throw up some reviews of my own (insert ominous dark music here). Please take any comments as intended to help, not detract, from the work!

Also note that I'm a pretty inexperienced reviewer, so take or leave my reviews with that in mind.


@cosmonaught12345: Interesting read, and a very good job with the narrator's prejudices! I think there is some loss to the story from a lack of background info (you really can't tell if Rose is a Starfleet Officer or a renegade from some of the dialogue ), but I loved the way you implied she was a former Borg herself. Nice job!

@morkintash: As others have said, the different color text was distracting, but it was the lack of spacing between the lines that made it seem a bit like a 'wall of text'. Great job on the Ferengi accent and terms! I also liked how you made the wormhole passage difficult for the ship, as there seem to be too many views among Trek fiction that wormholes are just big tunnels that you go through without really noticing instead of that sort of wormhole being the rarest kind. One other thing you might try is to italicize ship names to set them apart from other words. Good job!

@marcusdkane: Short and to the point! The entry seems to be a fragment of a story, though, and feels like a placeholder between events, rather than an event itself. Am I right in assuming this is not meant to be a stand-alone piece?

@govar1: I had a bit of confusion when Z'nod was detailed as the "current Commanding Officer" instead of 'Executive Officer' or 'Officer of the Deck', since the 'current' wasn't capitalized as a title normally would (made it seem to me the ship operated with the Captaincy rotating equally among the senior officers, with no permanent CO). Very nice job with the Gorn! It's always great to hear non-human/humanoids speak differently from humans to emphasize that it isn't just the skin scales that are different. As above, you might want to italicize ship names to set them apart. Look forwards to seeing more!

@cmdrscarlet: Nice short piece about possibilities. The idea of a 'negative' universe is one that we only see once in ST and everyone seems to forget afterwards, but it's refreshing to see it here again! I especially like that you reminded the reader that most wormholes a ship might encounter are not stable, and can't be used for passage! Great job!

@patrickngo: Interesting twist to bring the Q-ship concept into the Borg War! I loved how the Herdthinner, despite getting in the first shot, quickly found itself dangerously outgunned in the initial battle (which makes sense in this situation). Attacking even knowing the enemy outmatches your ship is definitely a Klingon trait, and I loved the cultural background injected for the main character! Now, how is this going to end....?


Great work, everyone!
Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 391
# 37
06-13-2013, 05:54 PM
danqueller - excellent story, examining what is known of the "Planet Killer" and offering a fine solution to how to disable one when you don't have a spare starship or a few Har'pengs handy
Join Date: January 2011
Ensign
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 28
# 38
06-13-2013, 06:02 PM
@ danqueller

changed the things you suggested, thanks for the read!
Glad to see everyone seems to like the Gorn round these parts.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,469
# 39
06-13-2013, 06:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by danqueller View Post
@marcusdkane: Short and to the point! The entry seems to be a fragment of a story, though, and feels like a placeholder between events, rather than an event itself. Am I right in assuming this is not meant to be a stand-alone piece?
Thanks for your thoughts, I can certainly understand why it might feel that way, but it was written specifically to be a very short mundane piece At the time, I wasn't feeling inspired enough to have anything coming out of the wormhole, or to have the Valkyrie go through it... I could expand the price further to include such elements, but it would considerably change the tone of the piece, and my current idea would not really 'add anything', so I might just leave it as is
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 114
# 40
06-13-2013, 06:32 PM
Cmdr. Sharon's career options are limited - a competent Starfleet engineer from the mid-24th century is something of a relic in the early 25th, and what she's really in _demand_ for (as with most Liberated Borg) is her knowledge of the Collective. She's a trained Starfleet engineer who was assimilated by a mysterious sphere in the heart of a major temporal anomaly - she could easily be an important figure!

But the voice in the back of her head isn't a childhood promise of order and security the way it was for Seven of Nine - it's the voice of the thing that devoured her soul and permanently warped her body. She has trouble even being in the same room as other liberated Borg, much less working with their technology. (I've been a little hard on this character, but she was born from the idea that Seven of Nine was entirely too jolly about the Collective...)
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