Lt. Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 231
# 81
06-16-2013, 09:29 PM
Updated 6/16
Update

Last edited by aten66; 06-16-2013 at 09:32 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,209
# 82
06-17-2013, 03:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by superhombre777 View Post
@ marcusdkane - I had to look up the Barzan wormhole. Your research (or memory) continues to surprise me.
Thanks, I've watched a lot of Trek
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,061
# 83
06-17-2013, 02:21 PM
@patrickngo - awesome bit of background on K'tirr's name. And I loved the imagery of him licking Breen blood out of his fur. For some reason I have the mental picture of Breen blood having the color and consistency of anti-freeze...

@aetan66 - I assume the story doesn't end there? I'm really enjoying the story so far. Down the Rabbit-Hole indeed! Curiouser and curiouser...

@shevat - I'm sensing heavy influence from VOY: "Bliss" but I really enjoyed the way you turned everyone into stereotypes of their own race when they encountered this thing. Very thought provoking and entertaining read! I don't think the crew of the Tiburon would have fared nearly so well, as Jesu LaRoca to date hasn't shown an ounce of self-doubt - total opposite in fact.

@flamesight - what a delightfully wicked story! I actually lol'd at Commander Dylen's idea of "dinner theater." Yes, I know I'm a terrible person. I think what I enjoyed most of all was how callous she was about the casualties. Great of example of how the Tal Shiar - rather than being the "protectors of the Romulan People" they purport to be, don't care about people at all.

@jonsills - and I thought present-day sailors were bad - your crew probably has fifty different words for f**k and they probably use them all over the course of an average day in space... Gotta love that resourcefulness though.

@superhombre - great job continuing the story arc! I find it interesting that when a spaceship from the future blasts the Reaper everyone thinks "Section 31's come back to finish the job" and not my thought: "Maybe the future is better off without Captain Carter..."


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

An Introduction to the Gorn (RP guide) / Ten Forward Fanfics
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 231
# 84
06-17-2013, 07:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post

@aetan66 - I assume the story doesn't end there? I'm really enjoying the story so far. Down the Rabbit-Hole indeed! Curiouser and curiouser...
Thanks! Curiouser indeed!

Major update today! Hopefully it will make sense.
Comments and feedback appreciated as well!

I've enjoyed the stories so far, and only hope my own will be completed in time. Or that by the time I finish it it won't break the post.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 85
06-17-2013, 07:42 PM
Done with mine Lemme know what you guys liked, and please feel free to offer (construcitve ) criticism.
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 146
# 86
06-17-2013, 07:43 PM
I blame my slow reading speed on the DS9 novel series Mission Gamma.

@ gorvar1 - that was a nice first entry. You have a few minor spelling and grammar issues to clean up, but nothing major.

I haven't been paying all that much attention to the Gorn in STO, but I thought there were more than two castes. (Or maybe I am remembering the mediocre Typhon Pact novel Seize the Fire incorrectly.) It's almost better for there to be more than two castes but Doutra (and most humanoids) don't know that since the Gorn are so secretive.

@ cmdrscarlet - in my (not humble) opinion, alternate universes like you describe should be more common in fiction, so thank you. If there are an infinite number of universes, then an infinite number of them could have different physical constants, or different interactions during the formation of the universe that drastically alter everything, or at least enemies that don't look just like us.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,061
# 87
06-17-2013, 08:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aten66 View Post
Thanks! Curiouser indeed!

Major update today! Hopefully it will make sense.
Comments and feedback appreciated as well!

I've enjoyed the stories so far, and only hope my own will be completed in time. Or that by the time I finish it it won't break the post.
I don't think there's any length or character limit to the posts.

I've copy/pasted 30+ pages from MS Word for a couple of LCs with nary a hitch...


Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
Done with mine Lemme know what you guys liked, and please feel free to offer (construcitve ) criticism.
Interesting read! I find the idea of the Mirror Trill to be perversely fascinating (shades of TNG: "Conspiracy") and I really enjoyed his legal justification for interfering with the alternate reality. Not entirely sure how our Trill government would feel about having a bunch of doppelgangers running around though...


"Freedom is just a pretty idea unless it's backed by Force."

An Introduction to the Gorn (RP guide) / Ten Forward Fanfics

Last edited by sander233; 06-17-2013 at 08:46 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,209
# 88
06-18-2013, 12:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
Done with mine :-D Lemme know what you guys liked, and please feel free to offer (construcitve ) criticism.
Very nice Of course, the MU Trill situation has been mentioned before, but the mention of the Nightingale and King Estmere made that a really nice piece of continuity of the LC verse In terms of critique, I have only one point to note: Admiral Blaze had given Bryan command of the fleet, and he'd given them their formation orders, thus, he didn't need to take command of the fleet when the Serephea was destroyed, as he was already running the show Also, as noted, your tactical group is now an Admiral down, and despite his promotion, as a commanding officer, Bryan may not always be available to be part of their think tank, thus I'd like to offer you the use of Admiral Jedda Tobin, Marcus' former first officer aboard the Endeavour to fill that space. An unjoined Trill, she enjoys snow-boarding and particle physics. In her youth, I would have had Bridget Moynahan portray her, but following the STO 30 year time jump, I would now cast Charlotte Rampling ^_^
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 89
06-18-2013, 12:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
Interesting read! I find the idea of the Mirror Trill to be perversely fascinating (shades of TNG: "Conspiracy") and I really enjoyed his legal justification for interfering with the alternate reality. Not entirely sure how our Trill government would feel about having a bunch of doppelgangers running around though...
Thanks I spent half a day pouring over the Prime Directive and Starfleet General Orders and Regulations pages on Memory Alpha looking for ways Bryan might be able to justify his point to the Admirals.

Not sure how they'll handle it either. I'll prolly get around to writing about that eventually

Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Very nice Of course, the MU Trill situation has been mentioned before, but the mention of the Nightingale and King Estmere made that a really nice piece of continuity of the LC verse In terms of critique, I have only one point to note: Admiral Blaze had given Bryan command of the fleet, and he'd given them their formation orders, thus, he didn't need to take command of the fleet when the Serephea was destroyed, as he was already running the show Also, as noted, your tactical group is now an Admiral down, and despite his promotion, as a commanding officer, Bryan may not always be available to be part of their think tank, thus I'd like to offer you the use of Admiral Jedda Tobin, Marcus' former first officer aboard the Endeavour to fill that space. An unjoined Trill, she enjoys snow-boarding and particle physics. In her youth, I would have had Bridget Moynahan portray her, but following the STO 30 year time jump, I would now cast Charlotte Rampling ^_^
Thanks! I figured that might make an interesting idea to tie together different stories. Glad to know that it worked.

As for the point you made, I may stick in or change a few lines of dialog in the battle scene to fix that.

As for borrowing Admiral Tobin, I might just do that . Bryan is really not the armchair admiral sort
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,209
# 90
06-18-2013, 02:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironphoenix113 View Post
Thanks! :-D I figured that might make an interesting idea to tie together different stories. Glad to know that it worked.

As for the point you made, I may stick in or change a few lines of dialog in the battle scene to fix that.

As for borrowing Admiral Tobin, I might just do that . Bryan is really not the armchair admiral sort :-D
It's a subject which definitely deserved to be addressed, rather than written off as a Prime Directive matter, so I think you handled it really nicely

I figured Bryan wouldn't be the kind of Admiral to get desk-bound, although I suspect Jedda's gotten rather comfortable being desk-bound She probably won't object to Bryan's actions, as she's never been hellishly 'by the book', but also finds the entire concept of joining repulsive, so would be grateful to Bryan for saving her countymen from what she looks on as a violation of free will, so will probably have his back more than she'll let on (I named the character after Jedda Walker and Justine Tobin, and she and Marcus were only ever friends and colleagues )

Last edited by marcusdkane; 06-18-2013 at 02:35 PM.
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:23 PM.