Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,837
# 131
07-31-2013, 12:36 PM
Oh, I cried to be sure - do you know how hard I work for my art?!



No really, I want to create something not only I enjoy, but others will too. Well-balanced criticism can only help
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,571
# 132
07-31-2013, 01:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
I reread the piece and it got better! It seemed ... more full, if that makes sense?
Thanks, I'm glad you thought it was an improvement I tried to smooth the dialogue a bit between everyone, but mostly wanted to show the darker side of Alix's personality, and have her go from merely being vaguely rude and intimidating, to abusively hostile and judgemental (and of course the irony of her calling Siri a freak ) so I'm glad you felt things filled out a bit better with the revision
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 554
# 133
07-31-2013, 01:43 PM
@patchouli19: Nice work so far, and I look forward to seeing the rest of this entry.

By the way, nice baddies there in the Interstellar Concordium. Think you could tell us what their ships look like?
Originally KiraYamato before the Account Linking - True Join Date August 2008

"In the game of war, there are no clear rules you can follow." - Andrew Waltfeld
Ensign
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 14
# 134
07-31-2013, 02:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by takeshi6 View Post
@patchouli19: Nice work so far, and I look forward to seeing the rest of this entry.

By the way, nice baddies there in the Interstellar Concordium. Think you could tell us what their ships look like?
Thank ya. The Concordium ships are actually hard to describe and that's probably going to be the biggest road blocks for the next part. In the meantime, I can provide you with some pics :

The Interstellar Concordium dreadnought/the DRN Valoor: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26317_1.jpg

ISC Heavy Cruiser: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26319_1.jpg

ISC Medium Cruiser: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26321_1.jpg

ISC Light Cruiser: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26320_1.jpg

ISC Destroyer: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26316_1.jpg

and finally the ISC Frigate: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26318_1.jpg

They seem almost crescent shaped to me, almost like the Son'a, but a little more intimidating to me.
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 554
# 135
07-31-2013, 02:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli19 View Post
Thank ya. The Concordium ships are actually hard to describe and that's probably going to be the biggest road blocks for the next part. In the meantime, I can provide you with some pics :

The Interstellar Concordium dreadnought/the DRN Valoor: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26317_1.jpg

ISC Heavy Cruiser: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26319_1.jpg

ISC Medium Cruiser: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26321_1.jpg

ISC Light Cruiser: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26320_1.jpg

ISC Destroyer: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26316_1.jpg

and finally the ISC Frigate: http://screenshots.filesnetwork.com/...s2/26318_1.jpg

They seem almost crescent shaped to me, almost like the Son'a, but a little more intimidating to me.
Right.

Part of me almost wishes one of my Alts was there--a Rear Admiral, in charge of an Armitage-Class Heavy Escort Carrier, with a brilliant tactical mind honed from constant play of Three Dimensional Chess. Of course, this means he tends to treat the battlefield as a Chessboard, and codenames the units under his command after Chess Pieces (Q1, N2, R4, B6, P12, etc). His enemies tend to call him 'Demon', for the fact that he often tends to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat on a fairly regular basis.

That ability and his tactical skills would probably come in fairly handy in the fight in your LC.
Originally KiraYamato before the Account Linking - True Join Date August 2008

"In the game of war, there are no clear rules you can follow." - Andrew Waltfeld
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,571
# 136
07-31-2013, 03:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by patchouli19 View Post
Welp, posted the first part of mine. Probably going to post the rest of it later (once it's done...) but it has been quite a struggle
Excellent entry, I'll look forward to seeing more
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 239
# 137
07-31-2013, 04:06 PM
Got around to reading some entries and comments....

@masopw: Sure I guess you can use him! Interesting story.

@grylak: Not much to say except. TRIBBLES!!!!

@patrickngo: Interesitng story, lol 47 Breen... yikes

@marcusdkane: Little confused, but interesting.

@knightraider6: McFly'd....need I say more. I loved the ending, will they ever uncover the traitor... it seems like it was one of those temporal conspiracies.

@shevet: Interesting.

@wraithshadow14: Tinmen! Ahh, and I love your QF, she seems to be very...spastic...overly joyful?.....Awesome story for sure!

@superhombre77: Sad...I think?

@danqueller: I'm alittle confused here, but Romulan politics go over my head...as do Klingon politics....*cough* and Federation politics*cough*

@azniadeet: I like the photonic beings.

@jonsillis: this is the first I've ever read of your stories since I've had time, and I like it! Sad ending though....

That's all I've got time for, but thanks to all those who've left comments on my story!
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,571
# 138
07-31-2013, 04:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aten66 View Post
Little confused, but interesting.
Thanks What did you find confused/confusing? Is it something I can tweak to read more smoothly?
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,288
# 139
08-01-2013, 12:22 AM
OK...I've got an untitled story posted that, while it picks up from the last entry and delivers the resolution to the Board of Inquiry, is mainly focused on getting to know Admiral Berat (my main toon on STO, and an alternate version of a character I write elsewhere...who is himself based on a character from one of the official DS9 novels).

It's not much, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM me for more. :-)

Sig by gulberat. Avatar credit to balsavor.deviantart.com
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,571
# 140
08-01-2013, 03:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gulberat View Post
OK...I've got an untitled story posted that, while it picks up from the last entry and delivers the resolution to the Board of Inquiry, is mainly focused on getting to know Admiral Berat (my main toon on STO, and an alternate version of a character I write elsewhere...who is himself based on a character from one of the official DS9 novels).

It's not much, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
Very nice piece I had been expecting Admiral ch'Harrell, but this was a welcome surprise It was nice to see Alyosha relaxed around another, rather than worrying if his nature would be exposed, and I hope we'll see more of Berat in future LCs

I wonder what he would think of Meliden, especially now she permanently looks like a Human

Last edited by marcusdkane; 08-01-2013 at 03:59 AM.
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