Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,872
# 151
08-01-2013, 05:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by takeshi6 View Post

marcusdkane: Amanda Palmer and Claire, though S'rR's is pretty interesting, too. But yeah, I'm definitely intrigued by Claire--part of me even wants to put an AI in at least one of my ships.
By all means feel free, I view the computer library access information retrieval engram as an update in the lcars software, so no reason why she couldn't be on other ships too And of course, different experiences would create an entirely new personality, one who may choose a different appearance, so plenty of options
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 587
# 152
08-01-2013, 05:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
By all means feel free, I view the computer library access information retrieval engram as an update in the lcars software, so no reason why she couldn't be on other ships too And of course, different experiences would create an entirely new personality, one who may choose a different appearance, so plenty of options
I might. Though I also might do a different kind of AI for a different ship, and give it a different acronym.

There are a few AIs with names I like--Cortana, ADA, Pharsti... just need to think of an appropriate one.
Originally KiraYamato before the Account Linking - True Join Date August 2008

"Close Air Support covereth a multitude of sins." - Maxim 4, The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 423
# 153
08-01-2013, 05:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by takeshi6 View Post
I might. Though I also might do a different kind of AI for a different ship, and give it a different acronym.

There are a few AIs with names I like--Cortana, ADA, Pharsti... just need to think of an appropriate one.
"No one User wrote me. I'm worth millions of their man-years!"


Should be interesting when a few of these AI ships meet up.
"I am your leader, I am in command. The fate of all my followers lies in my hands. The burden of what is right or wrong, decisions have to be made. I have to take you all into this burning Gate." - Iron Savior, 'Never Say Die'.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,872
# 154
08-01-2013, 06:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by takeshi6 View Post
I might. Though I also might do a different kind of AI for a different ship, and give it a different acronym.

There are a few AIs with names I like--Cortana, ADA, Pharsti... just need to think of an appropriate one.
Looking forward to seeing what you come up with

As a point of note, S'rR's's nickname was of course, inspired by the iPhone AI, based on the pronunciation of her name being 'Cirrus'
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,747
# 155
08-01-2013, 06:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by danqueller View Post
"No one User wrote me. I'm worth millions of their man-years!"


Should be interesting when a few of these AI ships meet up.
As long as they don't form the Fleetmind, we should be okay.
-------------------------------------------
Originally Posted by hfmudd
Quote:
You are special, you are unique, and you are passionate. You are also insignificant. Get used to it.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 147
# 156
08-01-2013, 08:28 PM
@ wraithshadow13 - the eggs were an interesting idea. I noticed that you have a few small mistakes, like using "where" instead of "were" and splitting words like "doorway" into "door way" and "fingertips" into "finger tips." If you look you'll spot them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by masopw View Post
. A line saying something like, "the cadet piloting the shuttle tried for an expressionless face....but you could see that he was glad he wasn't on the receiving end of ch'Raul's anger" could tell us there's a third person onboard, and would be a good set up for the punch line, making the reader think, "he saw what the brass is capable of...is he *that* dumb to fall asleep?!".
Thanks for the feedback. I updated my entry to make it clearer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
Ok, the rewrite is in.
You beat yourself up too much. All of us have written things we aren't necessarily proud of. But how do you get better at writing? By reading a lot, writing a lot, and accepting constructive criticism.

I've started a new procedure for my writing - finish writing, wait a day or two, then edit and post. This has helped me catch some issues beforehand, though mistakes still slip through. I also started reading books on writing. You might find some of these to be helpful.

One other thought - one time I posted an LC entry and made a snide remark in the discussion thread about how I thought it wasn't my best work. It was obvious that most people read my remark and decided to skip that entry. I learned a lesson - let the readers decide for themselves.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,181
# 157
08-01-2013, 10:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by superhombre777 View Post
@ wraithshadow13 - the eggs were an interesting idea. I noticed that you have a few small mistakes, like using "where" instead of "were" and splitting words like "doorway" into "door way" and "fingertips" into "finger tips." If you look you'll spot them.


Ha, I'l have to go back and fix that. I have a bad habit of doing these overnight, so i tend to be a little loopy sometimes by the finish.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,537
# 158
08-02-2013, 12:43 AM
@Malkarris: Good show! I enjoyed this one.
"when you're out of Birds of Prey, you're out of ships."

I play KDF, because being a genocidal maniac works better with Klingons, than explaining it as a member of Starfleet.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,537
# 159
08-02-2013, 12:45 AM
To: Gulberat

RE: I want to see more of Adm. (GUL) Berat!!!

This guy's interesting. I'd like to see more of him in the future. (or maybe even in the past-I almost wonder if he's bumped heads with Drake Tran's bunch of malcontents...)
"when you're out of Birds of Prey, you're out of ships."

I play KDF, because being a genocidal maniac works better with Klingons, than explaining it as a member of Starfleet.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,248
# 160
08-02-2013, 12:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Very nice piece I had been expecting Admiral ch'Harrell, but this was a welcome surprise It was nice to see Alyosha relaxed around another, rather than worrying if his nature would be exposed, and I hope we'll see more of Berat in future LCs
Some people really seem to have a gift when it comes to putting others at ease around them. Berat is definitely one of those people. I also think that Berat has a record that speaks for itself, when it comes to how he treats those who are unlike him. Having a chief engineer who looks like a full Borg drone but with fully human emotions and the attendant social anxiety problems that come with that shows his tolerance and ability to look past appearances.

So I think that Alyosha suspects that if Berat did find out, or does already know, that this is someone who will not hold it against him.

Quote:
I wonder what he would think of Meliden, especially now she permanently looks like a Human
A conflicted mess of emotions, for sure.

On one hand, he would feel sad for her; I'm not sure he believes in "international adoption." He doesn't want Cardassia to be somewhere so terrible that people take children away as some sort of mercy.

Yet he would also feel ashamed. He's very aware of Cardassian sins, and may feel like perhaps she did this because the sin of his people was too great for her to bear.

His feelings towards Cardassia are incredibly complex. He loves his people--Cardassian individuals, certain cultural items, but due to past events...I'm actually not sure he trusts Cardassia to full self-rule. His trust in Cardassia's ability to govern itself and wield power without abuse has been burned.

He probably doesn't admit this to most people, though his actions in working so closely with the Federation are probably enough that the True Way can guess, and has targeted him. He is indeed their antithesis, and everything they would despise. Whether that's a good thing in him or a flaw, that his feelings are so strong in the matter that he questions his people's ability to handle sovereignty...that's for you to judge, but that's how he is.

I wonder how Marcus would've felt about that, if he'd found out Admiral Berat's inner feelings on the subject, considering how he despises Cardassia(ns?).

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambassadormolari View Post
Gulberat: Huzzah, we finally get to meet Berat! Very well-written exchange between him and Alyosha, and I appreciate the fact that you were careful to tie in some of your earlier stories as well (Gul Tassok's daughter in particular). Post-Dominion Cardassia always intrigued me as a concept, and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who saw the in-game parallels between Cardassia and the Romulans (re: both still recovering from a major disaster, and getting embroiled in a civil war).

Well done. Your story actually has me wishing for a Cardassian faction sometime in the future...
Thanks.

Playing a Cardassian toon on New Romulus gave me a very different experience compared to the unpleasant grind a lot of people have described. I could actually see him taking an interest in what happened to the Mol'Rihannsu and getting to know them. And being appalled by the stuff that appears as dialogue choices in the "motivate workers" thing in the Staging Area, and deciding he should say something very different instead.



Patrick--I haven't followed your stories that closely, I'm afraid, so I'm not familiar with Drake Tran. But I'm glad you liked Admiral Berat!

Christian Gaming Community Fleets--Faith, Fun, and Fellowship! See the website and PM for more. :-)
Delta Rising: Reanimate? (Y/N) Review Series COMPLETE!
Proudly F2P. Sig by gulberat. Avatar by balsavor.deviantart.com
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:53 AM.