Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,637
It's time to start my own thread, more specifically to talk or add your review about these missions.

These series will cover a web of treachery, lies and explosions. Try to survive and while getting all the clues together...

My current list of Missions:

Collectiveness strikes gold
Code: ST-HII7CAMOB
Part: 1
Faction: Federation
Status: Finished (Raw revamp published! 11-12-13)


Collectiveness strikes gold, II
Code: ST-HD8T7FAI8
Part: 2 (sequel of Collectiveness strikes gold)
Faction: Federation
Status: Finished


The Masters slave, II
Code: N/A
Part: 2 (2nd of three, prequel of Collectiveness strikes gold, part 1)
Faction: Klingon
Status: Unpublished
^^ I am Stoutes, and I approve of my message (and inb4exploit!) ^^

Last edited by stoutes; 04-04-2014 at 05:56 PM.
Commander
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 477
# 2
08-06-2013, 03:42 PM
Okay, repasting my part 1 review in here! Come one and all and give it a play!

Maps
The Borg interior was extremely well done, must have spent a lot of time setting it all up but it gave just the right feel that the whole place was falling apart. Oh, and was one of those Borg dancing? There were a lot of really nice features - was that a decontamination prop in there? Nice usage of it! Space maps were also quite nice though I find the DS9 map and the Bridge map at the end were a bit wasted. They could have been done with pop-ups rather than an entire map to visit. - Oh and I love the use of the fire sinders as tiny asteroids (that was what they were right?)

-Tech: A lot of good use of triggers etc. for explosions and progression. For first one it's a good job.

Combat
Nice level of combat on the interior, I find Borg irritating when you face too many but it was just right for a damaged cube. In space, seem just right at first, though I was expecting more of a fight from the second wave - bit too easy at that point? Though maybe fine for part 1 - it's usually good to keep combat basic early on and build up so you're probably right on this.


Story
Premise is solid. In terms of "giving too much away", I think what you have to do is give away more teasers. If you give too little there is not enough of a mystery to care about and I could have done with a little more. Yes there is a Romulan on board, but to be honest, he could be from anywhere. A recently captured scout ship or something. As mark says above, some mystery could be reiterated in an overview at the end to remind you of questions that need to be answered.

-Choice & Side Stories: So far, none. Again, part 1 but later would be good to have more choice in responses (esp. as a Vulcan) and just to generally give you an "illusion of choice" as they said in the podcast.

"Is It Trek"
I'm going to start adding this to my reviews as a topic (not as a good vs bad thing, something can be very funny yet un-Trek, it is a category thing so this isn't part of my "rating"). Trek in terms of values, feel & diversity etc. Differs of course between Fed/KDF/Rom. For your mission, not many value conundrums at this stage, but you did rescue the Romulan and there was nothing anti-Trek - feel could be improved in later parts. Diversity - very few NPCs (3 in total?) but thus far all white human males.


And my notes on part 2 so far;
1) Maybe keep the mission giver as a pop-up and go direct to Vulcan rather than via random person on ESD?
2) Having a group patrolling on a bridge... looks a little.... weird....
3) The name "Lib3ral"???
4) More background behind characters when you're setting off - in the ready room - would be welcome. Helps you care about their fate to hear a little of where they came from.
5) How dare that Vulcan order me to leave the system! I'm a Starfleet Admiral dammit! Screw you cowardly Vulcan man, I want to continue my investigation and you're just going to have to stick it.

& Rose Tinted Mirror (Fed 31+)
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,637
# 3
08-07-2013, 02:54 AM
@isthisscience: Thank you for reposting your review! I've already answered you but will post it a.s.a.p. inside this thread.

----------------------------

For everyone who already did my mission and/or wanting to, i would ask you to be as much of a critic as possible! As language is my weak spot i would ask all of you to give me as much input as possible of any typo's or grammer mistakes i might have made.

If there is anything that bugs you (storywise, NPC's, placements, etc) and you might have an suggestion or improvement, please please please share .
^^ I am Stoutes, and I approve of my message (and inb4exploit!) ^^
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,637
# 4
08-11-2013, 09:10 AM
CSG part II, Kalferi II preview

This map gave me headaches, i just wasn't able to get in the "flow" if you know what i mean. Well, it's finally coming together.

Map previews:

Starting point

Safe route: 1, 2 and 3.

Almost There

Arrival
^^ I am Stoutes, and I approve of my message (and inb4exploit!) ^^

Last edited by stoutes; 08-11-2013 at 01:55 PM.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,955
# 5
08-11-2013, 03:19 PM
Lissan: needs her wander speed turned down, she runs around like a Scalosian when she moves.

"Lib3ral"?

You spelled I as i several times.

Hal'medor interior: had a boff get stuck in a crate near the beam in.

"Go to next map" when leaving Vulcan.

I got lost after this.... Where to next?
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,637
# 6
08-11-2013, 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Lissan: needs her wander speed turned down, she runs around like a Scalosian when she moves.

"Lib3ral"?

You spelled I as i several times.

Hal'medor interior: had a boff get stuck in a crate near the beam in.

"Go to next map" when leaving Vulcan.

I got lost after this.... Where to next?
Thank you for your points!
  • That character is supposed to be my own character, but since it's a seemingly strange name i've changed it to something more suitable. I've dressed it with a more suitable diplomatic wardrobe.
  • Capitalisation is updated, including the i's .
  • The beam in spot has gotten a bit more space, it shouldn't be able to happen after the next republish.
  • Next step is the Kalferi System. This has been added in the closing dialogs and the "go to next map" dialog.

I hope to republish this mission around tuesday or wednesday .
^^ I am Stoutes, and I approve of my message (and inb4exploit!) ^^
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,955
# 7
08-11-2013, 06:42 PM
Maybe just add an explanation of the name?
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
Survivor of Romulus
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,637
# 8
08-12-2013, 12:34 AM
I started out with a character named Lib, since then i made variations of than name like Lib3ral, Liberator, etc. It's nothing about politics or whatever.
^^ I am Stoutes, and I approve of my message (and inb4exploit!) ^^
Career Officer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,512
# 9
08-12-2013, 01:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by markhawkman View Post
Maybe just add an explanation of the name?
Sometimes a name is just a name!

Check out my Foundry missions:
Standalone - The Great Escape - The Galaxy's Fair - Purity I: Of Denial - Return to Oblivion
The Defenders - Duritanium Man - The Improbable Bulk - [WIP] Commander Rihan
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13,955
# 10
08-12-2013, 07:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stoutes View Post
I started out with a character named Lib, since then i made variations of than name like Lib3ral, Liberator, etc. It's nothing about politics or whatever.
I meant an in-universe explanation.

kinda like: Em/3/green... His race is just weird like that...

It would have been nice if they'd had the time to explain the strange name though.
HAIL HYDRA!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I can haz joystick!
MMOs aren't charities. Corporations are supposed to make a profit. It's what they do.
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