Ensign
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 3
# 51
08-26-2013, 07:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by superhombre777 View Post

@ arxeblu - that was an interesting approach. It makes me wonder what kind of husband would write this though - going to his wife's commanding officer and saying "she thinks she's unfit for duty" is a great way to kill a career and cause marital strife. Wouldn't seeking a counselor be a safer approach?

Also, this sentence is confusing: "As much as it is not logical to sacrifice so able an officer to unneeded secrecy, as deadhearted is it to leave the human behind that officer in such a state."

Side note - I named one of my fictional runabouts Pauling (after Linus Pauling).
Michael is truly afraid that the consequences for his wife will be even worse if she goes back into service (which she surely desires eventhough she sees herself unfit for it..)
Though he puts his words a little more polite and constructive Michael obviously does not trust Starfleets Couselors...

The confusing sentence is meant to adress the disparities between the attitude of Michael and the Admiral.
T'vir is supposed to be a Vulcan and Michael suspects him to have just two things on his mind: Logic and the "functionality" of his officers. Michael puts that in contrast to his much more emotional view of his wife as a person.

Though he says otherwise, Michael is not a big fan of Starfleet. He makes a clear division between his wife in private and her role as a Starfleet Officer.
His motives may perhaps not be as noble as they seem to be in the first place...

As to the Ships name, indeed I thought of Linus Pauling. I very much like the concept of naming Starfleet ships after famous scientists. As Pauling won two Nobel Prizes I think we may as well grant him two ships bearing his name.
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 52
08-26-2013, 09:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
@ironphoenix113 - a touching story. It would be interesting to see this pair develop further. They say you never want a family member to be your doctor, and this story highlights a good reason why. Of course, with a ship the size of an Odyssey-class, you should have multiple doctors who can (hopefully) overrule the CMO if McKenzie's life is ever threatened again.
Thank you I will be developing them a little further as I can. As for having multiple medical officers who can take over for Syiseda, it turns out there are some perks to having the biggest ship in Starfleet
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,092
# 53
08-26-2013, 10:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rextorvan36 View Post
And did I see Grantville in there? did that little miners town from Virginia get copied across dimensions or something?
darn it, someone spotted my in-joke(s).
"when you're out of Birds of Prey, you're out of ships."

Look into Vanilla PvP if you're tired of the endless pursuit of grind, utterly unbalanced selections of geardo-inspired traits, and generally unbalanced and careless 'development' made mostly to turn this game into a second job.
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,193
# 54
08-26-2013, 12:16 PM
@ironphoenix113 - I agree, that was a touching story. Thank you for showing that several months of battle does add up. There were several times I wondered how Voyager didn't end up looking like a battered upside-down bathtub held together by band-aids and saran-wrap.

@sander223 - Man, this is sinister stuff brewing but really well written. I'm curious: do you know the song to use for the story or does a song inspire you? Did anyone else notice the reference to patrickngo
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,679
# 55
08-26-2013, 02:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
Did anyone else notice the reference to patrickngo
Yup, made me chuckle
Rihannsu
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 216
# 56
08-26-2013, 02:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@ironphoenix113 - I agree, that was a touching story. Thank you for showing that several months of battle does add up. There were several times I wondered how Voyager didn't end up looking like a battered upside-down bathtub held together by band-aids and saran-wrap.
No problem It was a fun entry to write. As for the scarring, plot armor can really do wonders, eh?
Vice Admiral Bryan Mitchel Valot
Commanding officer: Odyssey class U.S.S. Athena
Admiral of the 1st Assault Fleet
Join date: Some time in Closed Beta
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,513
# 57
08-26-2013, 04:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
Dammit, all that effort and research I went through to make sure I picked a likely star out the right direction (Gamma Trianguli is indeed an A-type star 113 lightyears out, one which spins so rapidly it deforms into an oblate spheroid, surrounded by a cloud of rocky debris), and I make a typo on the year. And you were the first one to catch that typo, or at least the first one to realize I had my fingers off by a bit. Thanks, and it's been fixed now...
Like you, I'm a sticker for details, and I often spend an inordinate amount of time researching things that most readers will never notice.

Your description of the star system did lend a great deal of authenticity to your story, even though I had no idea how realistic it really was.

Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickngo View Post
Sander, beautiful post-script.
Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Awesome piece I have to admit, I initially found Georgia's accent hard to read through, but she definitely grows on you Have to admit, I did lol about 'the cancer', she definitely sounds like she fell off the turnip truck, but it'll be good to see more of her (and perfect casting too)
To translate Southern, just mentally replace any 'h' following a vowel with an 'r' - unless its just an 'ah' or 'ahm'/'ahv' in which case the 'ah' is an 'I'. I've added her to my in-game Bridge Officer roster as a change-up torpedo officer to alternate for Mitiani Zain (I just reversed the order of Torpedo High Yield and Torpedo Spread.) Fanfic-wise, I haven't decided yet if she'll be an alternate shift projectile weapons officer or if she'll replace K'lak in security. I can tell you though, she is much smarter than she sounds.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rextorvan36 View Post
And did I see Grantville in there? did that little miners town from Virginia get copied across dimensions or something?
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickngo View Post
darn it, someone spotted my in-joke(s).


Quote:
Originally Posted by cmdrscarlet View Post
@sander223 - Man, this is sinister stuff brewing but really well written. I'm curious: do you know the song to use for the story or does a song inspire you?
Little bit of both. Usually the idea for the story comes first, and I scan through my music library looking for a song that will match up with what I want to write about, and then I let the lyrics influence my writing. In this case, the Foo Fighters track was just shuffled into the playlist I listen to while working on The Road, so I had it pretty well in mind and it's theme and lyrics found their way peppered into various parts of the story. I wasn't planning to use it as an intro track, but it's title just happened to intersect perfectly with the LC title and the title of my big story, so I dropped it in and pulled a few scenes out of the epilogue which seemed to fit the song.

Quote:
Did anyone else notice the reference to patrickngo
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
Yup, made me chuckle
I hope he doesn't mind getting blown up. He is a PvPer, after all.

"Look at all the pretty lights!"

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,679
# 58
08-26-2013, 04:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
To translate Southern, just mentally replace any 'h' following a vowel with an 'r' - unless its just an 'ah' or 'ahm'/'ahv' in which case the 'ah' is an 'I'. I've added her to my in-game Bridge Officer roster as a change-up torpedo officer to alternate for Mitiani Zain (I just reversed the order of Torpedo High Yield and Torpedo Spread.) Fanfic-wise, I haven't decided yet if she'll be an alternate shift projectile weapons officer or if she'll replace K'lak in security. I can tell you though, she is much smarter than she sounds.
I had a feeling that she might be The more I read, the more she shone through, and as soon as I saw the IMDB photo, I thought "Yes, that's her..."

I did wonder how Miss Zain might react to a 'younger model' entering into Jesu's good graces Just be sure to keep her away from Adam Cornish (unless Jesu needs the opportunity to enforce some physical discipline )
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,513
# 59
08-26-2013, 06:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
I had a feeling that she might be The more I read, the more she shone through, and as soon as I saw the IMDB photo, I thought "Yes, that's her..."

I did wonder how Miss Zain might react to a 'younger model' entering into Jesu's good graces Just be sure to keep her away from Adam Cornish (unless Jesu needs the opportunity to enforce some physical discipline )
I think Zain's learned her lesson about jumping to conclusions but it will definitely be interesting to see them interact. Georgia let slip a racist epithet (Cardies) and while she admires LaRoca's open-mindedness I'm pretty sure she's not so tolerant herself. A lot of ex-Maquis settled on Moab and the whole system was definitely sympathetic to their cause. So that's another source of potential friction. And don't forget H'mL'n in the mix as well.

BTW, I don't know if anyone caught it, but Georgia, her ship, and the circumstances of her rescue were all a reference to Torpedo Squadron 8 at the Battle of Midway.

"Look at all the pretty lights!"

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,679
# 60
08-26-2013, 11:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
I think Zain's learned her lesson about jumping to conclusions but it will definitely be interesting to see them interact. Georgia let slip a racist epithet (Cardies) and while she admires LaRoca's open-mindedness I'm pretty sure she's not so tolerant herself. A lot of ex-Maquis settled on Moab and the whole system was definitely sympathetic to their cause. So that's another source of potential friction.
How much of that might be 'learned racism' picked up from the ex-Maquis, rather than outright prejudice? Equally, Cardassians are probably the one species where people are right to be apprehensive of them, when past conduct is examined. Marcus had very little tolerance for them as a people, although on the individual one to one level, he wouldn't've discriminated against someone... Siri's not overly keen on them either, so I think a person's past experiences definitely have to be taken into account before just writing someone off as a bigot. I caught Georgia's fear about being sold into bondage, which didn't seem like the kind of thing I would have associated with Moab, so I wonder if she might have had some bad experiences of predatory types which has made her fearful of them...

Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
And don't forget H'mL'n in the mix as well.
Who probably wouldn't think twice about giving a little skank a few slaps to keep her in line, as the behaviour of the Empress will show in the upcoming entry

Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
BTW, I don't know if anyone caught it, but Georgia, her ship, and the circumstances of her rescue were all a reference to Torpedo Squadron 8 at the Battle of Midway.
I'm ashamed to say I'm not enough of a history buff to have caught that, but very nice work, I love little touches like this in work
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