Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,389
# 11
09-05-2013, 12:51 AM
I think I'm going to pass on this one. I've got most of my characters deeply enmeshed in a story where it wouldn't fit-and the ones that aren't, wouldn't be appropriate.
"when you're out of Birds of Prey, you're out of ships."
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 793
# 12
09-05-2013, 02:58 AM
Hhmmm......


My first reaction was pass. I never really liked that character. And there would be no way for him to believably turn up on the Sentinel. However...... I believe I may have come up with a way to do so. And all it takes is a little fiddling from Bosip and Gweevle. If I do write this one, it will be a direct continuation from LC48.
*******************************************

A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Commander
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 387
# 13
09-05-2013, 03:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
I think I've come up with a whole new angle on the thing. Now to hope someone else doesn't come up with the same idea.
Oh, blast! There goes my whole idea! Oh well, back to the drawing board....<mutter, mutter>

"I am your leader, I am in command. The fate of all my followers lies in my hands. The burden of what is right or wrong, decisions have to be made. I have to take you all into this burning Gate." - Iron Savior, 'Never Say Die'.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 168
# 14
09-05-2013, 04:41 PM
Lol, another return of Wesley!

Now the new arc would be perfect to add Picard and the crew to since they've sen a dyson sphere before!
And Voyager is perfect to add since, well... ya know... the Voth and all that...

That's about All I have to say...

Love to see how this pans out.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 116
# 15
09-05-2013, 05:03 PM
Popped one in. Listed as a work in progress...but...and here's the but...

It *could* stand on it's own...I think. If I do anything else, it would be describing what happens next...so if you read it, it's not like you'll have to re-read it from the start.

I'd appreciate your advice...*could* it stand as it is?

If so...the notice goes away, and I lock it in as my final entry. If not...then...help?
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 168
# 16
09-05-2013, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by masopw View Post
Popped one in. Listed as a work in progress...but...and here's the but...

It *could* stand on it's own...I think. If I do anything else, it would be describing what happens next...so if you read it, it's not like you'll have to re-read it from the start.

I'd appreciate your advice...*could* it stand as it is?

If so...the notice goes away, and I lock it in as my final entry. If not...then...help?
*Pounces on Masopw*

My Precious...my precious.... I love it!

Some simple grammer, at least one... there is a single lower case 'i' near the very beginning. Again, I like where your going with it and how you simply ended it there. But in some timeframe you WILL finish this my friend, it is to good a starting point not to finish! It could be a standalone like this one, or continue on in a future LC, but I so want to see this finished.


That wasn't a threat at all...*Puts d'k tahg behind back*
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,761
# 17
09-05-2013, 06:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by masopw View Post
Popped one in. Listed as a work in progress...but...and here's the but...

It *could* stand on it's own...I think. If I do anything else, it would be describing what happens next...so if you read it, it's not like you'll have to re-read it from the start.

I'd appreciate your advice...*could* it stand as it is?

If so...the notice goes away, and I lock it in as my final entry. If not...then...help?
I agree with aeten66 (although not as violently) - that's a fantastic start to a story that's begging to be finished.

Picking at a nit here, but you use the phrase "I spat out" a couple of times in quick succession towards your current endpoint. You might wan to replace one of those with "I seethed" or "I said vehemently" or something else along those lines.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,761
# 18 Mine's in!
09-06-2013, 01:52 AM
So I figured Rusty's experience toward the end of The Road might be reason enough to get The Traveler involved, considering how Rusty basically crossed into a dimension of pure thought. I also took the opportunity to show him trying to explain exactly what he is to someone meeting him for the first time.

Please enjoy The First To Climb

Starring, in order of appearance:

Josh Hartnett as the voice of Cmdr. LaRoca Rusty
Daryl Hannah as the voice of MCPO Raastz
Rosario Dawson as CPO Kurinka
Chloe Grace Moretz as Acting Ens. Georgia Nguyen
Oscar Isaac as Lt. Amraam
Liam Neeson as the voice of The Old Deinon
And of course Eric Menyuk as The Traveler

With cameo appearances by:
Chow Yun Fat as Drake Tran
Antonio Banderas as Uncle Ricky Montoya
(character credit to parickngo)

Last edited by sander233; 09-06-2013 at 02:29 AM. Reason: part x link
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,043
# 19
09-06-2013, 05:09 AM
Crazytown Bananapants
Captain
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,542
# 20
09-06-2013, 07:46 AM
I challenge everyone to accept this challenge!
Kathryn S. Beringer - The Dawn Patrol

Solaris build - Veritatum Liquido Cernene
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