Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,489
# 41
09-23-2013, 08:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonsills View Post
Dangit, I knew I left something out. Maybe I should go put that into the story, but the supercomputer stayed aboard the Herpes. However, Starfleet did have to buy the salvage rights from Vovonek, for a sum of GPL.

Not sure the new accommodations are that much of a downgrade, though; all the systems of the Bedpan are properly integrated, unlike Vov's improvised system, and it is the very latest in Federation computer technology (along with holoprojectors in most areas of the ship, so Mycroft can project his avatar as desired!).

As a side note, I started giving the ships derogatory nicknames in imitation of a tradition I've seen in the US Navy, where sailors often mock their own craft. The carrier USS Kitty Hawk, for instance, is variously known as the Kitty Litter or the Sh*tty Kitty; the carrier USS Enterprise was sometimes known as the Enterprison prior to her retirement (it also picked up the nicknames "Big E" and "Fleet Starship"); the submarine USS Gato, decommissioned in 1996, was often called the Ghetto; and so forth. (After looking up one of the above examples, I also found what I think is my favorite pair of nicknames. In 1975, the guided-missile frigate USS Belknap collided with the carrier USS John F. Kennedy in foggy conditions; after that, the Belknap became known as the Belcrash, while the Kennedy became the Can Opener.)

Edit: After perusing this list, I was amused to find that the Enterprise, the first nuclear-powered carrier in the US fleet, was also known as Mobile Chernobyl and Three-Quarter-Mile Island.
I missed an entire 24 hours out of my entry... I rather like the nicknames, Ijust wo under how Grunt and co will deal with a new ship which isn't falling apart on them
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,881
# 42
09-23-2013, 01:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by takeshi6 View Post
I definitely look forward to seeing the Bedpan in a mission or two, though what I really want to know is what ship he commands next, what its name is, and what its derisive nickname is.
Well, in-game Admiral Grunt commands the Magellan-class USS Ferenginar; I haven't come up with a good nickname for her, though.
-------------------------------------------
I'm old enough not to care too much about what you think of me --
But I'm young enough to remember the future, the way things ought to be...

- Rush, "Cut To the Chase", Counterparts
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 237
# 43
09-23-2013, 02:14 PM
Updated mine majorly!

Hope it makes sense, as it is a work in progress.
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,357
# 44
09-23-2013, 11:27 PM
[shameless plug] For those of you who have been following patrickngo's and my latest story, "The Dark Horses" - I've posted Act Three [/shameless plug]


REVIEWS!!

@anziadeet - great story! I really enjoyed Quallo.

@jonnaroslyn - very nice. The character portraits are a good idea, but I found the links to be a bit distracting, especially once the story got rolling. Perhaps next time, put a crew list here in the discussion thread and cross-link to your story.

@aeten66 - I really want to see this finished...

@jonsills - Nice to see Grunt and crew get a ship that's worthy of their abilities! I particularly liked the new additions to the roster.

@marcudkane - terrific as always. That was a very nice read. I liked the reference to William Sander and Star Enterprises (and his description as a "hipster" - creative license, but I think I'll run with it.) That bit was particularly interesting because in my universe it was Greg Sander who came up with the final breakthrough that made the quantum warhead possible. I also enjoyed seeing Marcus in need of rescue. Great casting, also.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,489
# 45
09-24-2013, 07:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
[shameless plug] For those of you who have been following patrickngo's and my latest story, "The Dark Horses" - I've posted Act Three [/shameless plug]
Excellent, Things're really warming up


Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
terrific as always. That was a very nice read. I liked the reference to William Sander and Star Enterprises (and his description as a "hipster" - creative license, but I think I'll run with it.)
I'm glad you enjoyed it, but of course, that could just have been Paul's (mis)perception of him


Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
That bit was particularly interesting because in my universe it was Greg Sander who came up with the final breakthrough that made the quantum warhead possible.
With 15-20 years, Greg may have found a way to shift Paul's simulations to reality


Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
I also enjoyed seeing Marcus in need of rescue.
I feel like I skimped on those last scenes a little, but couldn't think of any way of extending them, without repeating too many details such as why they were there, and their beacon...
[edit to add]
I've tweaked the scene between Paul and T'Reya... I realised he was speaking too much like the formal tone I used to convey Vuhlkansu, and wanted to add a little more 'embarrassing parenting'...

Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
Great casting, also.
Any particular instances?

Last edited by marcusdkane; 09-24-2013 at 01:42 PM.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 237
# 46
09-24-2013, 10:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander233 View Post
@aeten66 - I really want to see this finished...
Actually, I finished it yesterday; after I posted, I only added a little bit, then the rest of it.

I may add more, depending on feedback.

Read and review my piece, I feel good with what it is, but I can clear some things up if anything doesn't make sense.
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,489
# 47
09-24-2013, 12:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aten66 View Post
Actually, I finished it yesterday; after I posted, I only added a little bit, then the rest of it.

I may add more, depending on feedback.

Read and review my piece, I feel good with what it is, but I can clear some things up if anything doesn't make sense.
I like it I wouldn't add any more, it already has some nice character insights, and anything else may be overworking it

*insights, not nights, damn iAutocorrect >_<

Last edited by marcusdkane; 09-24-2013 at 10:20 PM.
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 993
# 48
09-24-2013, 04:41 PM
Well, over half way done with my entry. It seems to be taking longer to write than the last two, but it's coming along. And yes, it does continue the current story following the Gorn ambush. It actually picks up directly where the last one finished.
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A Romulan Strike Team, Missing Farmers and an ancient base on a Klingon Border world. But what connects them? Find out in my First Foundary mission: 'The Jeroan Farmer Escapade'
Career Officer
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,357
# 49
09-24-2013, 07:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcusdkane View Post
I feel like I skimped on those last scenes a little, but couldn't think of any way of extending them, without repeating too many details such as why they were there, and their beacon...
The ending did feel a little abrupt, to be honest. I'm not sure if the scenes themselves were too lean or if it was missing a sort of family reunion moment. (That might have been too cheesy...)
Quote:
I've tweaked the scene between Paul and T'Reya... I realised he was speaking too much like the formal tone I used to convey Vuhlkansu, and wanted to add a little more 'embarrassing parenting'...
Good call. That scene was hilarious.
Quote:
Any particular instances?
Asa Butterfield AKA Ender Wiggin as Young Marcus Kane is absolutely perfect.
And I love Marion Cotillard. She's such a wonderfully versatile actress. I want more of her.


"I won't try to hide behind the Law if what I stand for is what's Right."

The Masterverse Timeline / Ten Forward Fanfics
Captain
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,881
# 50
09-24-2013, 07:23 PM
It hadn't really sunk in before, probably because from my POV it's not that remarkable, but...

Marcus, did you say that Alix's condition was similar to high-functioning autism, or Asperger's Syndrome? Because as an Aspie, that bit about having to memorize the "social niceties", nonsensical as they may seem sometimes, certainly rang true...

Jon's Post, supplemental: My roommate, who was once in the Navy, read that post about the nicknames and wanted to let me know that his old ship, the landing craft Belleau Wood (which was decommissioned at the same time as he was transferring to the Army), was more popularly known to the sailors aboard as the Ghetto Hood, because they carried Marines around.

(As an ironical side-note, when he transferred into the Army, he wound up in the 4th Division, 2nd Brigade - a brigade which served with distinction at the Battle of Belleau Wood, and included a division of Marines.)
-------------------------------------------
I'm old enough not to care too much about what you think of me --
But I'm young enough to remember the future, the way things ought to be...

- Rush, "Cut To the Chase", Counterparts

Last edited by jonsills; 09-24-2013 at 07:42 PM.
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