Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Oh no. The servers are down. What are you going to do? If you're like me, you're browsing the internet and doing some other stuff on the side, and checking in on this forum from time to time for amusement. But if you're not like me, you're frothing at the mouth wondering when can you get your next fix of Trek, and some of you might even be complaining about the state of the game.

Woah, hold on a second. You hate the state of this game, you despise it, you are threatening, and you're still waiting to get into the game to play it? For all the horribleness that Cryptic has done, supposedly, you certainly are dying to get back into their broken product. But, no, that's okay, I suppose - just because you are not happy with key aspects, does not mean you have to stop playing. You can, certainly, wish for something better.

Did I lose some of you in my conversation? Good, okay! Now we can get on to sarcasm and wit!

SO! What are you going to do to pass your time while waiting for Trek to come up? I know - lets make a post on the Forum!

Here's a nice guide on how to be a clearly productive member of the STO Community to facilitate better changes and improvements to the game:

1) Be angry - No one will ever take you seriously if you are not angry. Peaceful discussion is for whimps.

2a) Use a shocking title - The more dramatic your title, the more eye catching it is! After all, you stopped to click on my thread, didn't you?!

2b) If not shocking, use some witty reference to something about Trek - I was both shocking and witty! Brace for Impact! See what I did there?

3) Compare Trek to all the other awesome MMOs that launched - yeah, there were plenty of awesome MMOs that launched without failure, ever. Yep. Wait for it.

4) Counter all arguments of realistic expectations with ones of logical fallacy - If all other MMOs had poor launches, then all future MMOs should have flawless launches. Clearly, all companies fail, because all companies do not learn from the mistakes of totally different companies which approach the same problem with totally different software and architecture. For shame.

5) Personal Insults - when all else fails, the other person is stupid. Yeah, you heard me right. Loser. I can't believe you didn't agree with me on the previous point. Only idiots do that. (Or so I have been told)

6) There's power in Numbers - by this point, you have probably realized this is thread number eight thousand four hundred and fifty six dealing with the exact same gripe that you had. No, it wouldn't be logical to chime in in one of those threads. That requires searching, which you know no one does in forums, or contributing to an existing thread. Logically, you get more hits by voicing your opinion in a separate thread, so the point doesn't get lost. Plus, it totally looks cool if you're post #1.

7) The Developers Hate Star Trek - clearly, because warp doesn't take days on end, your tachyons aren't firing, and your shields aren't modulating to stop their inverted polaron beam, the Developers hate Star Trek. Also, this game is like WoW, or EVE, or one of those other MMO games which they clearly have taken off of. All my ideas are unique and important, and work much better without and regard to a sense of practicality in an MMO. But because they're not very Trek-ish, the developers are awful. Shame on you. Bad.

8) Game X did thing Y better than this game - All RPGs are the same. Single player RPGs are so awesome in their self-contained engine which needs to make no accommodations for server architecture, that we should take every idea that they had and integrate it into this game. Because the engines are totally compatible, the concepts are totally viable, and everything needs to be done now.

9) We're still in beta?! - Don't you know, we're still in Beta, not live. All your arguments about things are inherently flawed, because there's still time to break things in! There's no need to rush, or be concerned about anything! ... Oh, sorry. Did you think I was only going to bash people who were against the game? My apologies.

10) Pointless Conversation - sometimes, you just like to type to be witty. It helps you pass the time, waiting for the server to come up. This is a good example of this. You can't take everyone seriously all the time, because sometimes we're just silly people who have nothing better to do.

These are my tips for betterment of community. Follow them. Live them. They clearly have worked before, in all the times in all the other MMOs, so why break tradition?
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