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Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
* ...your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
* ...he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
* ...you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
* ...he refers to Klingons as "Critters"
* ...he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
* ...he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
* ...he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
* ...he says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
* ...he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
* ...he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
* ...he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
* ...he says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
* ...he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
* ...he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
* ...he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
* ...he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
* ...he paints the starship John Deere green
* ...he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
* ...he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
* ...his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
* ...he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
* ...his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
* ...he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
* ...his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies

home
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 2
01-30-2010, 02:36 PM
Lol, thanks for the laugh OP
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 3
01-30-2010, 06:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarka View Post
Lol, thanks for the laugh OP
love it!!!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 4
01-30-2010, 06:58 PM
Anyone up for a Redneck RP Fleet? :p

Bubba, git overhere and hep me wit dis critter. He dun did git blowed up, but he all gettin mouthy bout ur sister and that phaser pistol.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 5
01-30-2010, 07:04 PM
Bubba's brother Jasper is head of engineering.

Jasper done took off the governor switch on the dang warp core! And installed a flame embroidered leather dash mat on mah captain's console!
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 6
01-30-2010, 07:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by corybros View Post
* ...your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
* ...he paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
* ...you have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
* ...he refers to Klingons as "Critters"
* ...he refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
* ...he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil
* ...he installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
* ...he says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
* ...he hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
* ...he rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
* ...he keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
* ...he says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
* ...he has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
* ...he insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
* ...he sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
* ...he programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
* ...he paints the starship John Deere green
* ...he refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
* ...he refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
* ...his moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
* ...he sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
* ...his idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
* ...he wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
* ...his idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies

home
I actually saw this years ago and my friends and I were going to do this for a Science fiction con. We had the names of the crew and the costumes all figured out. Since we didn't do it I decided to used it for a short story for a final paper for a lit class. I got an A on the paper and for the class. It was later published in the school's literature mag. I am planning on a Redneck Star ship crew based on my story, which should be very interesting, since 4 of the crew members are sisters, well half-sisters (they all have the same father, yes he was suffering from Kirk-itis) and 3 have been married at sometime or other to the captain. One still is.

just my two credits...
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 7
01-30-2010, 07:14 PM
lol those were pretty good. So far I' m not a redneck >.>
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 8
01-30-2010, 07:23 PM
Heheee thanks for the laugh, too good.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 9
01-30-2010, 07:38 PM
... you lose more Red Shirts to "Hey Y'All, watch this!" than to enemy action
... your idea of "First Contact Protocols" involves beaming down to the surface with a 12-pack of Budweiser and going "How Y'all doing?"
... you think the Prime Directive means catch and release.
Lt. Commander
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
# 10
01-30-2010, 11:03 PM
... you think the warp drive is bending the hull by going to fast
... you think Vulcan is the best place to get new tires
... Think Orion is the name of a bajoran priest
... have a singing animal mounted on a plaque in your ready room
... think bajoran Spring wine goes good with chicken and ribs
... think racht is how the concert you attended last weekend went
... think Wolf 359 is the name and number of the winner of the pie eating contest
... issue an executive order that painted plywood cutouts are to be placed in the arboretum
... think the word phaser can be used in a sentence.... "last night i told my wife in the runaboutwe were being sent to rura Penthe , and it didn't phas'er at all"
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