I don't agree with: "* ...he has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil"
That's how you tell if your Captain is MacGyver...
you do realize macgyver was a redneck right?? how else did he know how to make stuff out of thin air.
i would like to paint my Ship like the general lee Complete with the confederate battle flag if i could
but my contribution to the thread is.
...if starfleet send another ship captain after you for running moonshine and romulan ale across the neutral zone.
...if your captain thinks the neutral zone is the gear that the ship needs to be in when orbiting a planet