Scene: The illustrious Bruce Wayne is laying on a futon preparing to kiss the most recent conquest of his playboy lifestyle when Alfred walks in.
Alfred: Sir, an urgent call for you on the red phone sir.
Bruce stops just millimeters away from the young lady's lips. After a short pause Bruce leans away and stands up. He begins to walk to his office
Bruce: Alfred, can you
Alfred: I'll show the young lady out sir.
Alfred and the lady begin leaving the room to the front door, Alfred ensures the room doors are shut behind them as they depart. Bruce tips a vase and reveals the secret slide to the bat cave from inside a full plated armor statue.
IN THE BAT CAVE
Batman and Robin stand close to the Bat phone.... Batman answers the phone "Whats wrong inspector?"
Inspector Gordon on phone: Batman, a diabolical scheme of unknown proportions....the USS GOTHAM CITY is in danger. Its sensors are going haywire but the crew can't see anything out of the normal.
Batman: We're on it inspector.
Gordon: Good batman, your our only hope.
The two parties hang up the phone and Batman looks at Robin
Batman: To the bat computer Robin... Get the Gotham City on screen.
Robin jumps "Yes batman" he runs to the bat computer and punches some buttons to reveal the USS Gotham City with two Federation escorts the USS Clueless and the USS Unprepared.
Batman looks at the screen for a moment then walks away pacing inquisitively scratching his chin the entire time.
Batman: No sign of danger...no graffiti on the ships...so, its not the joker or riddler.
Robin shouts: HOLY TURNTABLES BATMAN!!! They're flying single file in circles
Batman: The old carnival target duck formation..
Robin: The what formation?
Batman: The carnival target duck formation, named for the little target ducks at the shooting gallery. Usually a gesture of peace, but could be mistaken as an act of aggression.
Robin staring at the screen notices danger....HOLY BURNT SHISH KABOBS BATMAN!!! TWO KLINGON BIRDS OF PREY DE-CLOAKING BEHIND THEM. Is there nothing we can do???
Batman continues to pace "Nothing but watch Robin, They would never listen to two men in tights"