Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,783
# 1 Time's Eye
01-17-2014, 08:25 PM
How did the splinter timeline come to be? Why is it wrecked by disaster? The key to it all lies with one Starfleet Admiral. Into Time's Eye now you must go.

Name: Time's Eye
Faction: Fed
Author: @voporak

This mission is a sequal to Of Terror and Darkness, and a conclusion to the mission series started with Of Morals and Ethics. This mission is dialogue heavy, with considerably more combat than the previous two. If you spam F through the dialogue, the mission won't make any sense at all. There are several optional easter eggs placed throughout the mission, so if you enjoy surprises then look around on the maps to see if there's something waiting for you.


I have added a secret, hidden away in one of the maps. That is all I will say.

Post-mission notes (warning: these contain spoilers. Do not read until you have played the mission. Highlight to see them):
-Suroo (@lindaleff), Twinkers (@Commadore_Bob), Simba (@Ashkrik23's foundry alt), and Mufasa (not a character of Ash's, but it might be someday) die. This brings my cat kill count up to ten (since all five of Ash's characters died in the previous two missions), so I get 10 bonus points and an unlockable Manray hat. Also, Canis (@canis36) is an NPC in the ground battle and has a chance to die also.
-I wrote the final monologue from an OOC perspective, before I actually started working on the mission. Everything my NPC says is me saying something as a player.
-The Most Interesting Jem'hadar in the World is an obvious pun on the Dos Equis commericials.
-The recording of Simba and Mufasa was mostly there to troll Ash with its unexpected ending. XD
-If you tried jumping after reducing gravity, you would find that you jump higher.
-The lowered gravity is also present in the ground battle.
-Time's Eye, if you haven't figured out by now, is an overlay of the Undine, Time Vortex, and Mirror portals.
-My trigger work on the spatial gateway in Memory Alpha and Trivas was amazing, amirite? (nearly blew my graphics card originally, since I didn't realize how much the effects would stack up. Thus I reduced the number of effects to what it is in Of Terror and Darkness and this one)
-DOOOM.
-If you check your NPC chat on Empok Nor, you'll find a Ferengi going "WooooOOOoooooOOooo". He is in a room, and if you talk to him you can punch him. His name is also Branflakes backwards. Cookies go to anyone who knows why I did that.
-Extra cookie if you said "Release the Krakken!" in the space battle.
-More to come.
Quote:
Originally Posted by askray View Post
YAY I'M EVOLVED! *drools on his chin*
Quote:
Originally Posted by voporak View Post
Welcome to the STO forums, where the evolutionary clock ticks backwards.
The Forgotten Battle - a new Foundry mission
Check out my STO Youtube channel!
Why are you hovering over my signature? Play my foundry missions! :-)

Last edited by voporak; 02-13-2014 at 09:48 PM.
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8,615
# 2
01-17-2014, 08:57 PM
My response to the spoiler notes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VeoOCegLn8
King of Lions rawr! Protect the wildlife of the world. Check out my foundry series Perfection and Scars of the Pride.
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...1#post13990891
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8,615
# 3
01-18-2014, 11:42 AM
I have reviewed your mission on my thread.
King of Lions rawr! Protect the wildlife of the world. Check out my foundry series Perfection and Scars of the Pride.
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...1#post13990891
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,783
# 4
02-04-2014, 08:16 PM
I got an idea earlier for an unusual type of mission. My next project is going to be an allegory (quick definition: a story where the actual stuff that happens is symbolic of something else).
Quote:
Originally Posted by askray View Post
YAY I'M EVOLVED! *drools on his chin*
Quote:
Originally Posted by voporak View Post
Welcome to the STO forums, where the evolutionary clock ticks backwards.
The Forgotten Battle - a new Foundry mission
Check out my STO Youtube channel!
Why are you hovering over my signature? Play my foundry missions! :-)
Empire Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 8,615
# 5
02-04-2014, 08:19 PM
It's going to be interesting.
King of Lions rawr! Protect the wildlife of the world. Check out my foundry series Perfection and Scars of the Pride.
http://sto-forum.perfectworld.com/sh...1#post13990891
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,783
# 6
02-13-2014, 08:40 PM
Spoilers can be seen without highlighting because of forum color changes. Be warned.
Quote:
Originally Posted by askray View Post
YAY I'M EVOLVED! *drools on his chin*
Quote:
Originally Posted by voporak View Post
Welcome to the STO forums, where the evolutionary clock ticks backwards.
The Forgotten Battle - a new Foundry mission
Check out my STO Youtube channel!
Why are you hovering over my signature? Play my foundry missions! :-)
Captain
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,783
# 7
02-13-2014, 09:49 PM
I have added a secret, hidden away in one of the maps. That is all I will say.
Quote:
Originally Posted by askray View Post
YAY I'M EVOLVED! *drools on his chin*
Quote:
Originally Posted by voporak View Post
Welcome to the STO forums, where the evolutionary clock ticks backwards.
The Forgotten Battle - a new Foundry mission
Check out my STO Youtube channel!
Why are you hovering over my signature? Play my foundry missions! :-)
Starfleet Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 770
Quote:
Originally Posted by voporak View Post
Mission: Time's Eye
Faction: Fed
Author: voporak
ID: ST-HN4LHQZHT

Sequal to Of Terror and Darkness. It's currently still in production, but by the time it gets its turn to be reviewed it'll be done, with bugs hammered out.
Federation Mission - Time's Eye
Author: voporak
Allegiance: Federation
Project ID: ST-HN4LHQZHT

----------Report Start-----------

Summary: This is a great combat and story oriented mission with good map designs and extremely tough battles. The story dialogue served to draw me in and keep me interested throughout. You did a great job and I would definitely recommend this mission to other players, although not on Elite as it was tough enough on Normal.

In some of the dialogue I mention the use of [NickName] vice [Rank] and/or [LastName]. I mention it because it feels odd to me as the player does not necessarily know the person using it. This becomes more of an issue since you had those same NPCs referring to the player by [Rank] in later maps. Using [Rank] and/or [LastName] is pretty straight forward and the [NickName] is most likely the first name of the player. This is not always the case but in most circumstances it most likely is that way.

Since your mission contains heavy combat on a couple of the maps along with the story dialogue it may be useful to add a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button. This could be used on the heavier dialogue portions, which helps a player move more quickly through your story and on to the battles. You would provide the summary to give the player what they need to known in order to carry on the mission.

Along the same lines I would recommend adding a "Solve the puzzle" button. Some players enjoy puzzles and that is okay. Something to consider is why include the puzzle? More specifically what is the purpose of including a puzzle? Does it add anything to the story? If does add to the story I would still recommend including a button. This allows the player to skip past the puzzle. You can make it part of the story, for example; "Engineer, I need you to fix this" or something along those lines.

On two of the maps I found the battles to be overpowering and time consuming. Battle balancing is an important element even in a combat oriented mission. I recommend spreading out the enemy mobs to give the player a chance to employ tactics to defeat them. They can overlap so if the player strays to close while engaging one he ends up engaging both. This does not mean you cannot have high level enemy mobs all across a map but not right on top of each other. Some players may like this type of grinder but I do not find that to be a challenge, I find it annoying.

Below are some things I noted while playing the mission that I wanted to let you know about. Everything in this write up should be seen as suggestions on ways I felt you could improve certain elements of the mission. They are yours to do with as you see fit.

Mission Description: The description is good but could use a little more story to draw the player in and make them want to click 'Hail'. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this description.

Grant Mission Dialogue: The initial grant dialogue is good but it needs a little more story to draw the player in and make them want to click 'Accept'.
-The use of [NickName] in the dialogue. Consider changing it to [Rank] or a combination of [Rank] and [LastName].
-Consider adding dialogue that asks the player to meet with the Admiral.

Mission Task: The initial task needs to have the start location of the first custom map. I noted no spelling errors with this task.

Mission Entry Prompt: This is a good use of the prompt. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this prompt.

MAPS:
Admiral Kormek’s Office on ESD: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of [NickName] in the dialogue. Consider changing it to [Rank] or a combination of [Rank] and [LastName]. From this point forward I will indicate the maps where the dialogue contains this and cover it in my summary.
-Consider adding a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button to the lengthy portions of the dialogue. From this point forward I will indicate maps where I think this would be appropriate and cover it in my summary.

Empok Nor: This is a good map design with excellent story dialogue. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-The use of [NickName] in the dialogue.
-The extra consoles have funny dialogue but serve no purpose to the story. Consider removing them. If you are going to keep them then consider changing the default "Interact" for the button to read "Access Console".
-Consider changing the response button "and shields is up here" to read "and shields are up here".
-Consider adding a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button to the lengthy portions of the dialogue.

Trivas System: This is a good map design with extremely tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The second enemy engagement is ridiculously over powered. All 7 groups are right on top of each other. Consider spreading them out more to give the player the ability to utilize tactics to engage them one or two at a time.

Sublevel H: This is a good map design with extremely tough battles and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue. I noted one item to consider changing:
-All the enemy mobs are way too powerful for the player to engage them and make it to the power core room. The only current solution is to run to the power core room and even there both mobs are too powerful. I respawned at least 5 times in the power core room before I wore them down. It is not a challenge, it is annoying. Consider spreading the enemy mobs out so the player can engage using tactics.

Sublevel D: This is a good map design with a easy battle and excellent story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-The console near the spare parts; consider changing the default "Interact" button to read "Access Console".

Trivas System: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted one item to consider changing:
-Consider adding a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button to the lengthy portions of the dialogue.

Voporak's Ready Room: This is a good map design with well written story dialogue. I noted no spelling or grammatical errors with this dialogue or any issues with the map. I noted a couple of items to consider changing:
-Consider adding a "Skip dialogue and provide summary" button to the lengthy portions of the dialogue.
-The use of [NickName] in the dialogue.

---------End Report----------

Thanks again for authoring and for giving me the chance to review your work. You did a great job developing this mission. I look forward to playing/reviewing more of your work in the future.
Brian

This critique report also filed 02/21/2014 on forum posting for: In depth mission reports upon request.
If you would like a detailed review of your mission please visit my forum posting "In depth mission reports upon request" for details.
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